Tales from the bathroom stall

Funny thing about dating, a large number of guys that I have spoken to or gone out with play the OS card.

I ain’t talking about operating systems either. 

Oral. Sex.  Why, oh why does everyone play that card?  I mean I know men are horribly desperate for blow jobs, however that doesn’t mean that our thighs get all a quiver at the mere thought of someone dining out on us.  I’ve lost count about how many times a guy has claimed that he just loooooooooves going down on a woman. *Insert eye roll here* 

You want to know what phrase actually get’s me hot?

I’ll do the dishes.

So listen up boys, if you’re going to go on and on and on about just how much eating pussy gets you hot…  Maybe you should go to Chinatown .

Prove it.  Don’t fucking sing it honey, just bring it.

Otherwise? Just do my dishes and STFU.

Sincerely,

Woman everywhere.

I have finally caved and joined the era of smart phone users.

I have an android, it’s bad ass and I love it!  I’m not a huge app person, I of course have the standards (IE every version of angry birds that there is) and a few choice others.  Mostly though I use my phone for it’s intended purpose: to talk and text and little else.  Mostly texting really.  Anyway, everyone once in a while I’ll stumble upon an app that interests me and the handy thing about having an android is that you can download stuff to your phone through your g-mail account.

Question is, how many of us really spend all that much time reading the fine print or in this case permissions for the apps that they choose?  I always take a quick glance and generally it’s the standard permissions that most apps ask for.  Nothing too un-reasonable or ridiculous in any case, if you have a smart phone then you know what I’m talking about.

Then I stumbled upon an app on the web that I thought I might download, that is until I actually took the time to read the permissions and changed my mind. Behold:

• HARDWARE CONTROLS:
  TAKE PICTURES AND VIDEOS (come again?)
  Allows application to take pictures and videos with the camera. This allows the application at any time to collect images the camera is seeing.  OK so you’re telling me that any picture I take with my phone, you have access to?  I think not!  Granted it’s not that I take the most interesting pictures with my phone but if I wanted to start rocking some naughty images that’s a whole other story…
  RECORD AUDIO
  Allows application to access the audio record path.
  CHANGE YOUR AUDIO SETTINGS
  Allows application to modify global audio settings such as volume and routing.
• YOUR LOCATION
  COARSE (NETWORK-BASED) LOCATION
  Access coarse location sources such as the cellular network database to determine an approximate device location, where available. Malicious applications can use this to determine approximately where you are.
  FINE (GPS) LOCATION
  Access fine location sources such as the Global Positioning System on the device, where available. Malicious applications can use this to determine where you are, and may consume additional battery power.
• YOUR MESSAGES
  RECEIVE SMS
  Allows application to receive and process SMS messages. Malicious applications may monitor your messages or delete them without showing them to you.
• NETWORK COMMUNICATION
  FULL INTERNET ACCESS
  Allows an application to create network sockets.
• YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION
  READ CONTACT DATA
  Allows an application to read all of the contact (address) data stored on your device. Malicious applications can use this to send your data to other people.
  WRITE CONTACT DATA
  Allows an application to modify the contact (address) data stored on your device. Malicious applications can use this to erase or modify your contact data.
• PHONE CALLS
  READ PHONE STATE AND IDENTITY
  Allows the application to access the phone features of the device. An application with this permission can determine the phone number and serial number of this phone, whether a call is active, the number that call is connected to and the like.
• STORAGE
  MODIFY/DELETE USB STORAGE CONTENTS MODIFY/DELETE SD CARD CONTENTS
  Allows an application to write to the USB storage. Allows an application to write to the SD card.  <This one is pretty typical of most apps, because of the micro SD card that’s installed in your phone.
  However some of these permissions are seriously messed up.  Why on earth would you need access to my pictures, my contacts and a bunch of other shit NOT relevant to the app in question?  To me that seems far more invasive then it needs to be, so that being said?
  No thank you! I don’t fucking think so!
  

OK first of all it’s 9:15 in the morning. Had a long week at work and was actually looking forward to sleeping in. Except of course given the nonsense of my daily schedule as is, that’s usually an impossible dream. Clearly my neighbors are awake too, because I can hear them a little too clearly. I’m happy that they have a err rather active sex life in spite of their having two children and another one on the way. Good for them!
You know what’s NOT good for me?

Having my pictures and what not on the walls end up crooked because to put it bluntly, he’s fucking her so hard that MY walls are shaking!
I have some of their mail here, I’m tempted to walk upstairs in my bathrobe and knock on the door.  In any case, I don’t feel bad when I start singing random songs (off key no less) at the fullest volume I can muster.  ;)

In other news, this I find much, much more appalling!  I mean seriously, WTF is wrong with society these days?  We have people protesting the Habs because they have an English speaking coach, yet american players (which isn’t an issue of course).

Children being denied organ transplants from NON organ donor lists (they have family members who are willing to do so) because she’s mentally challenged.  OK seriously?  This disgusts me on So. Many. Levels.  Who are you to deny a child the quality of life that all children deserve because you refuse to do the transplant?  Some Dr’s are fucking arrogant!

Not to mention the conservative government of Canada denying gay marriage rights all of a sudden…  This article is quite an interesting read to say the least.  Dan Savage’s quote “Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go wake up my husband and tell him we got divorced last night.“ is amusing, yet sad at the same time.  I as a person born and raised in Canada was so PROUD that we were forward thinking enough to have this finally be legal.  It was pretty freaking awesome when the province I call home hosted the first gay marriage ceremony.   Now?

Now I am ashamed.  Shame on you Canada for going back on your word and for fucking with the rights of others that you have NO business doing in the first place!  Do you really think that this is going to help you during election time?  Guess again mother fuckers!

I have no burning desire to have kids, I do however work with them everyday and I love them as if they were my own.  So when I happened to stumble upon this article I was disgusted by society as a whole.  Botox?  ’virgin waxing‘? Really?  Are we so caught up on what’s alleged to be beautiful by societal norms that we don’t care just how bad we’re fucking with the minds of CHILDREN?!?  Granted as a 33 year old, I’m pretty sure that my mom taking me to have my legs waxed might have come in handy because after all, hair stops growing back after a while…

I also remember as a child getting all freaked out over my own body hair (before I had that kind body hair) I mean my arms and legs…  I however said nothing and well I doubt my mom would have taken me to get waxed back then anyway.  Not that I had any clue what that actually was back then.  Now the only thing getting waxed these days is my eyebrows and even that I slack off on horribly more often then not!

On a final note, it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who is plagued by idiots in their life…

PS: It’s now 9:51am and they’re still having sex…

Yeah I’m back to hating on boys again. Le sigh…

I rarely use MSN and now I know why!  Mostly because of people like this guy:

Behold!  Enough bad spelling and grammar to set your teeth on edge!  It was like talking to a fucking teenager!

My text is in bold text, you know the proper one…

This is all I have to say about that:

And in other news…  This is one of (several) reasons why I cancelled my profile on a certain site.  Clearly some people men on there think I’m an idiot…:

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I’ve had enough, I’m becoming a nun!

Sigh