A multitude of epic FAILS!

Dear God, today has got to be by and large the MOST heinous day I’ve had in a while! First off I find out my IAM page was TOS’d for something I didn’t do. That however doesn’t surprise me as Rachel is a power hungry twat…

Then I discover that someone shouldn’t be trusted anymore which REALLY sucks!

Then I *almost* forget that today was good Friday and the bus schedule had changed, that however wasn’t an issue. Then I go to work, the place is a tad bit messy and I have an abundance of orders to contend with first thing in the AM. Nothing I love more then making a ton of quiche for other people first thing in the morning blah!

*On a side note, I hate when people pronounce it wrong! Its QUICHE not kish or my personal favorite: a Guiche which in case you didn’t know is a male genital piercing and makes me laugh every single time I hear someone call it that!*

Then I discover we have a tea party today, which had gotten forgotten about. So Donna asked me if I would mind running to Couche tard to grab some bread so we can make the sandwiches and grab some snacks for her and myself. So off I go, get what I need and of course upon my horror discover that I totally forgot to bring money with me! So that was a little embarassing to say the least! Thankfully its not far and I know the guys that work there to, but still!

Today was crazy busy! It was a constand non stop stream of people today who wanted tea and scones. Which is a utter pain in the ass, tons of dishes and a lot of work and most of us hardly think its worth it. Lunch however went over really well (creamy dilled salmon with lemon rice) which was nice seeing as how my day had gone to shit in so many ways throughout the say.

So i’m leaving work, forgot my dinner AND my pay ugrh! Thankfully Donna lives down the street and is willing to drop it off for me, bless her!

So anyway I get to the metro, almost home… Then I look up and the escalators are broken 😛 Now don’t get me wrong I’m not *THAT* lazy BUT… My knee was killing me, its been a long week and I was tired and St. Henri metro has a whole Lotta stairs! So thank God for Catholics because we score a long weekend which means not work for me on Monday but I still get paid, YAY!


Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people?

Something about Monday’s Krystal & I always seem to get epically bitchy, snotty, arrogant (oh and I could go on) people.

Every Monday & Tuesday its the same shit: “Where’s Donna?” For the 1 billionth time SHE DOESN’T WORK ON MONDAYS! Don’t get me wrong, I love Donna to death but seriously WTF? The poor girl is FINALLY get some time off, deal with it, suck it up and if it bothers you THAT much then how about coming in on a day that she works OK.

So this snotty asshole comes in and asks for our tea selection box, that’s fine Krystal brings it to him. Which he should consider himself lucky to get served at all because usually during lunch time we don’t serve just tea & dessert and/or scones because your 5 dollar cheap ass is taking up room for people who actually want to spend more money.

Anyway they select a tea to share, fine. When they came up to the counter to pay snotty ass says to Krystal:” I think you gave us jasmine tea instead of dragon’s well.” She says no it was the one you requested and I know that because I seen her making it for one thing and Jasmine tea isn’t served in a tea pot its served in a tea carafe. Its also a blossom, dragons well which is green tea is just straight up loose tea. Prick!

So Mr. I *think* I’m the ultimate tea connoisseur says loud enough for her to hear” They said they gave us the right tea, must have been our noses.” Well yeah jackass if you didn’t snort so much coke then maybe you’d have a better sense of taste!

OK not even my story but I have PMS and that pissed me off! I don’t like seeing my co-workers getting shit on like that by some jerkwad who shouldn’t be there because Starbucks apparently is more “his style”.

Then on come the coffee complaints…

Fat bitch:Girls, your coffee isn’t strong enough.
Me: um hmm, and I just shrugged.
Fat Bitch:Did you hear me? Even the indicator looks like the color of tea.”
Krystal: “Don’t go by the indicator because it’s not accurate.” (and its not either.)
Fat Bitch:Well maybe you’ll listen to my friend here humph.

Fat bitches friend:The coffee isn’t strong enough *whiny bitchy voice*.
Me: “Yeah? Well I make it the same way everyday and there’s nothing I can do about it, its an automatic coffee maker, therefore I have no control over it.”
Fat bitches friend: “Well you can control how much coffee you put in there *snotty smirk*
Me: *returns snotty smirk* “Well no because its all pre-measured and pre-packed according to the machine that we use.”
Fat bitches friend: ” Well you can add less water then *again bitchy snotty smirk.
Me: *starting to glare at whiny bitch* “Um no, you see its an AUTOMATIC MACHINE which is hooked up to our plumbing and it automatically dispenses the correct amount of water.”
Fat bitches friend: ” So your telling me its not your fault? Enter Bitchy snorting sound teamed up with yet ANOTHER dirty look.”
Me: *at the end of my rope and not caring how bitchy I sound…* “Why yes that’s exactly it because I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE MACHINE!”

Seriously, WTF part of I have zero control over it doesn’t that bevy of stupid twats NOT understand. Thanks for your suggestions you stupid bitches but this isn’t a coffee machine like you have at home, its a commercial model. If you have THAT much of a problem with the coffee, please feel free to contact our supplier and in the meantime go fuck yourself with the stick you have up your ass.

Jesus Christ!

For the 12 bucks your spending on your entire meal including salad, coffee/tea and dessert (which is all homemade in house) you really can’t bitch. Yet they find something… Just because your husband thinks your a cunt too and doesn’t want to put out is NOT my problem.

Looks like it’s been a while…

I am most likely the most inconsistent blogger out there! I see the last time that I posted was back in August. I could sit here and write a novel about what’s happened the last few months but quite honestly, I don’t have the time, need, want nor desire to do so but I’ll re-cap and post some highlights just for fun.

I started a new job yet again, seems like 2008 has been a total epic FAIL when it comes to work, at least for me. Mostly because I hated 98% of the places I worked at, only 2 being the exception. What can I say I’m a picky bitch and if I don’t like the way things are done then I just pack it in and leave. After my latest stint as a sous Chef in Westmount I was pretty much ready to burn my Chef uniforms in effigy which I think may have given me some satisfaction.

Then I lucked out and found the most amazing job ever! I can honestly say for the first time in oh I dunno the last 16 years I’ve had a job I actually LIKE where I work and getting up in the morning no longer makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a plastic fork!

Some of my clients though do make me want to stab myself in the forehead with whatever sharp object I can get my hands on. My work is a tiny place which I enjoy quite a bit because its more personal and everything is homemade which I love! Not to mention the Monday-Friday 9-5 hours and the 4 weeks off a year. But sometimes the people that come in or call drive me absolutely FUCKING INSANE! I work by myself until roughly 11:30 in the morning, I don’t have time to answer the phone because *YOU* want to know what the special of the day is, come in and find out! Or better yet, get yourself put on the mailing list and like magic the weeks menu will appear in your in box first thing Monday morning.
Then there’s the stupid questions, that I ain’t even going to get into because there’s just TOO many of them. Bottom line is I’m busy trying to cook and have no time to deal with your dumb ass! If you have a LEGITIMATE question in regards to the food or my cooking methods because you have special dietary needs or allergies then I will be more then happy to do my best to accommodate you, if not well then FUCK OFF!

These are 2 of my favorite customer related moments:

Phone rings:
Is this Stephanie?
What’s the special today?
Sliced ROAST pork with apricot glaze and mashed potatoes
What kind of pork is it?
I didn’t realise there was more then one kind of pork… As far as I knew it all came from the same animal (insert sarcasm here)
Well is it roasted?
(notice how I said ROAST PORK when I answered the phone) Yes…
Well how is it made?
In the oven… (to myself I’m thinking stupid twat)
well how is it served?
(again I said sliced did I not, oh yes, indeed I most certainly did) Sliced with a glaze and mashed potatoes and salad as per the usual on a plate.
Oh… and the soup?
I don’t know yet the phone won’t stop ringing and I haven’t had time to make it yet.
Oh, well you sound like you’re busy (well DUH! not to mention seriously annoyed!)
Why yes I am, as I ALWAYS am this time of the day. (again dripping with sarcasm, I really hate this old bag)
Well I’ll see you later for lunch then.
OK then, I’ll see you later (enter the fake nice voice here)

Fast forward to lunch, I ended up making lentil soup because it’s fast and ridiculously easy to make in a pinch.

So she asks my co-worker if she can taste it… Of course she doesn’t like it because she HATES everything that we make yet keeps coming back WTF?

Then has the nerve to say:”what did Steph do open a can of Campbell’s? I called at 10:30 and the soup wasn’t made yet.” My co-worker says no, Steph makes all of her soup from scratch (which I do). Keeping in mind that our lunch service doesn’t start until NOON as in 12pm and it doesn’t take me hours to make soup, this isn’t the dark ages. Us less bitch, comes in once a week and totally insults EVERYTHING! So I stopped picking up the phone on Wednesdays because that’s when she usually calls.

Generally I try to make lentil soup vegetarian, the boss lady doesn’t exactly always approve of me “accommodating” vegetarians because were not a vegetarian restaurant but I am a firm believer that especially if your making a vegetable based soup then it should be VEGETARIAN. The boss lady LOVES chicken stock a little too much and likes to add it to my soup because she feels it needs more salt, then USE SALT THEN. Fuck we have salt on the table, people can add more if they wish. I don’t like to over season my food because everyone likes it differently.
Anyway back to the lentil soup incident

A woman comes in and has a total hissy fit because I had no more veggie stock on hand and used beef stock instead. You should have seen her! It was priceless! Her eyelashes were batting a mile a minute and she’s says to my co-worker in a rather loud obnoxious voice:”HOW YOU COULD MAKE LENTIL SOUP BEEF BASED FOR? ITS SUPPOSED TO BE VEGETARIAN!?!”
Sensing my co-workers distress I came over and politely stated that actually no it IS generally beef based. She wheels around and screams at me:“WELL THE INDIAN PLACE I GO TO HAS VEGETARIAN LENTIL SOUP!”
I just gave her my look of utter disdain and said:” well generally *I* make it vegetarian (which I do) but today I wasn’t able to because I didn’t have adequate amounts of veggie stock on hand for one thing and I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not but this *ISN’T* an Indian restaurant either.”

She left in a huff, OK by me!…

Oh there’s so much more which I will save for another day because I just spent the better part of 12 hours travelling from Christmas and its time for me to get some sleep.

Adventures in interview hell…

So come home from vacation find out my job has been eliminated, whatever I’ll deal. The only true advantage to working in culinary is that people will always eat so you generally don’t lack for work. So after my mom left, I started looking for a new job. I had 2 contacts from my prior job one of which I utilized and the other one actually had a ad up so I replied to that. I hate going to interviews overall they just suck in general. So I go on the first one in the plateau and the guy was a bit of a dick head and he kept staring at my chest the entire time. I don’t care if that’s what guys do, horribly unprofessional and a total turn off. He just kept saying mmmmmmm the kitchen is really small back there, while staring at my tits. Gee are you trying to tell me something here?

I have to pay rent but this place was a turn off from the get go. Onto job interview #2. Yeah that place was beneath my skill in too many ways. Yeah I know that sounds snotty but its true. I have skills dammit and I will not waste them on some hole in the wall place making clubs, screw that! Went to job interview 3 was nice, I liked it, had a good feeling about this place. Reminded me of my former job I liked that idea. Was told that he (the head Chef) wanted to talk to the owner and what not before committing to hiring me. However I was somewhat left with the impression that I wouldn’t start until late August/beginning of September and that would have left me screwed for rent. Whatever I figured I would deal because I just had a good feeling about this place you know!

So onto job interview number 4, didn’t feel right, I blew it off figured I was getting my panties in a knot over nothing. Nice place LOOKED classy in the dining room was a good position (executive Chef) money was decent and the like. Got hired on the spot but I still had this bad feeling that stayed with me. I had a few days to ponder this, still had a few interviews to go on. The others are uneventful and not worth mentioning really. I was getting burnt out and I thought screw it, I got hired anyway. I thought YAY I’m going to run a kitchen and it’s going to be awesome, my opportunity to shine and be creative blah blah blah…

Yeah I was wrong… SO very WRONG!

This pretty much summed up my first day:

I come in, the owner didn’t even remember my name for one thing. That was a little disturbing but I let it go. Then he became a a tad bit of a condescending bastard, again I let it go new jobs are generally like that in *some* kitchens, at least for me. Then he got a little up close and personal while I was trying to work DO NOT WANT! Yeah I know I’m not a size two, don’t have a flat butt and yeah my chest enters the room before I do. I accept that for what it is. I get bumped and elbowed all the time, it happens, I’m used to it and doesn’t bother me unless it’s intentional. I have never had my ass accidentally on purpose fondled so many times during one shift, that’s where I draw the line.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not a prude but if I wanted to get groped by pervy old guys I would have become a prostitute, the money is better. I just don’t feel that’s appropriate for work. That’s OK though because he was feeling up one of the servers and “SHE” turned out to be a “HE” with a boob job. This makes me laugh to no end. Wonder what he would say if he knew that he was feeling up some girl with a penis.

Thankfully I also got hired at the 3rd place I went to so I told the Chef there that *if* the position hadn’t been filled within a few days and he still needed someone then I was all his. I was and am still OK with being a Sous Chef and I had a better feeling about this new place but I committed to starting a new job so I felt obligated to follow through. Thankfully the job was still mine so I gave it a go on Wed, MUCH better. There was several other things about that place that rubbed me the wrong way but I’m not even going to get into those. All I have to say is this: Just because it looks high end and classy in the dining room, doesn’t mean that the kitchen where your expensive food comes from has the same appeal. Put it this way *I* didn’t feel safe eating there. I’ll just let you come to your own conclusions about that.

I will not lower my standards or sell myself short, because I’m good at what I do and I know it. I had one last shift on Tuesday, because I DO need to pay rent. If he touched me again, I would have broken his arm, then maybe he’ll learn the meaning of DO NOT WANT! I am NOT going to be some-one’s squeeze toy. I’m not sorry I left, they didn’t deserve any notice, and I had another job lined up so I wasn’t worried. New place very much reminds me of my old job except here I have to work lol. I like it though, the staff is really cool. I’ll likely never see my pay from that place, that’s fine the labor board will love to hear about his escapades I’m sure. I’m thinking I should also get in touch with kitchen nightmares, Ramsey would have a field day in that place. The menu itself isn’t bad but the environment it’s made in is a whole other story!