I have the most ridiculously random, yet totally awesome life EVER!
I hosted a day long fundraiser at my place yesterday to help out a friend. Started at 9am and ran until some obscure hour in the wee hours of the morning. It was by and large one of the Best. Saturday’s. Ever. It started out innocently enough, get up, get stuff done. Or so that was the plan at the very least.
So for those of you who missed it, here’s the highlights in no particular order with no back story included:
- My superintendent told me that I could get around the no lease clause of no dogs allowed YAY! Except right now I can’t but someday. Having your super think that you’re hot has it’s privileges.
- I got blatantly hit on by some 400lb dude who said it was totally OK if I was his stalker.
- Which led to me throwing up in my mouth a little and saying (after many drinks later) ‘Can you imagine me trying to have sex with that guy? I don’t think I could bear the weight of him being on top, I’m not flexible enough nor are my legs long enough to be on top and my knees are bad’ which if you were there, you’d get it & laugh because everyone else did. Fuck you if you think I’m being mean (because I admit that I totally was insensitive) because it was pretty damn funny if you were there.
- Got to meet some of my awesome neighbors which makes me feel damn good about this apartment. With the exception of having to meet one due to Jackson finding her poor cat on the road, who we invited over for drinks.
- Poor person’s cat who died? HOT! OMFG This is one of the hottest woman I have ever seen! Which also prompted me to say, after total inebriation: ‘ I’m mostly straight but I would totally tap that!’ I also totally would because she’s freaking hot!
- Headlocks were had.
- Boobs were groped.
- Pants were lost.
- Such comments like the back of your head NEEDS to be smooched in my boobs (yes that was me) were said.
- Filters and indoor voices became a thing of the past.
- Wine, rum & beer was bought, consumed and spilled.
- Smoking… Lot’s & lot’s of smoking.
- Lot’s of lesbians.
- Lewd and totally inappropriate comments were said. (Which if you know me is the norm, but when I’m that shitfaced it’s even worse)
- Tattoos were flashed.
- Cast members from Webdreams were met.
- The word naughty became one of the most used words of the evening.
- Smoking hot photo-shoots were planned.
- My friends wife ended up in my bed.