The surreal life.

In May 2014 I took a massive leap of faith and applied for school at Concordia University. My end goal being a diploma in professional photography and a second one in Digital Photographic Imaging. I was tired of the culinary industry and had developed such a hatred for it, I wanted to move on. I was slated to begin towards the end of June.

On June 11th 2014 (about 2 weeks after making such a huge decision) I got word that my father was dying. On June 12th 2014 I had an amazing birthday and on June 13th 2014 I lost my job.

Funny how things can change so damn fast.  

You hear about stories like this all the time, they might fascinate you, appall you, inspire you or perhaps scare you. Which is all fine and well…

Until it actually happens to you.  

My first thought was to immediately drop out of school (before I had even started) and run home. Home being Ontario. I didn’t, I internally rationalized it by telling myself that my dad’s death sentence was quite new and he might have years to live. So why waste it, just in case. Either way, I was loosing my dad, it was really just a question of when. I figured that I would get myself a new job right away and just keep going to school part time and that would be that.

Except life never works out quite like you planned.

I never did get another job. No one wants to hire someone who’s been in my position and I can’t say I blame them. We (future husband and I) were broke, but we figured it out. I ended up going to school full time and completed my final course for digital photographic imaging (Photoshop) in October 2015. While I had technically graduated university, it hadn’t sunk in yet because I didn’t have my grades yet. So it was a fair assumption that I would pass, at the very least. I checked my final grades today and I almost fell out of my chair when I seen my final grade. It was/is the highest grade I have ever gotten in my entire life. Which was a surprise to me because that last class was a struggle. Once I got over the shock, I sat there and cried, so hard.

It was finally over and I had made it. Not unscathed by any means…

I’m pretty humble overall as a person. It’s one of my better qualities and no one likes that jerk who brags (sorry). This diploma represents so much more than my education overall. It’s a accumulation of:

  • Debt. So much debt. Which we have most paid off (YAY).
  • Grief. I lost my dad on February 28th 2015 and it hit me hard.
  • Battling through class when you’re waiting for ‘that call’.
  • It’s getting that call and hiding in an empty classroom bawling because you know that you’re going to loose your dad sooner rather than later and you’re helpless against it.
  • It’s having your mom text you and knowing that the following phone call most likely won’t be happy news.
  • It’s focusing every ounce of who you are and pouring your heart into final projects that can take up to 60+ hours.
  • It’s referencing your notes and realizing you missed something important.
  • Watching countless videos on YouTube because you can’t figure out how to do that thing.
  • It’s missing meals and quiet time with the man you love because you’re staring at a computer screen.
  • It’s trying to quiet the voice in your head because depression is an asshole that lies.
  • It’s trying to quell your anxiety because your deadlines are looming and why can’t you find inspiration already.
  • It’s late nights and early mornings.
  • It’s missing weddings and other occasions because you have to hand in your final(s).
  • Tension headaches and sore backs. Awful eating habits and so much more.

That’s not all though.

  • It’s the professors who rally around you and let you leave class so that you can text/call your family.
  • Those same professors also give you deadline extensions and/or present for you so that you can go home and bury your father.
  • It’s your boyfriend turned fiancee who never stops encouraging you, even when he resents that you spend more time with your computer than with him.
  • It’s the friends and the family who rally around you during your darkest time and encourage you to not give up and remind you why you started on this journey in the first place.
  • It’s all the really cool things you learned to do with images that you never even dreamed of.
  • It’s all the amazing and talented people you meet who become your friends.
  • It’s discovering a talent that you didn’t know you even had.
  • It’s being inspired by the guy who delivers your parcels in the afternoon.

It’s all that and more. I can’t wait to get my diploma so I can hang it in my home with so much pride. It’s been one hell of a journey and it still doesn’t feel real, but at the same time, it feels pretty amazing just the same.

So if you ever think that you can’t…

Trust me. You can.


2012 Review

Hello blog, it’s been a long time.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

Took a trip on the train

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t do new year’s resolutions anymore because I always break them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Several people did

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My grandmother

5. What countries did you visit?


6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

A flourishing business. More tattoos. Less poverty.

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

July 15th The day I quit smoking

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Quitting smoking.

9. What was your biggest failure?


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing major

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A Christmas tree.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?


13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?


14. Where did most of your money go?

Rent, food.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Seeing my mom.

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?

Blow me (one last kiss) Pink

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Happier, fatter (due to quitting smoking), poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Worked a little more.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Stress out. Get angry. Eat candy.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

With my family, same as I do every year.

21. Did you fall in love in 2012?

I did and it’s wonderful.


22. What was your favorite TV program?

Two broke girls & Whitney

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?


24. What was the best book you read?

I’ve read a lot of book through the year. I enjoyed them all.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

26. What did you want and get?

More time at work, more tattoos and someone to spend my time with.

27. What did you want and not get?

Steadier income

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Nothing stands out.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 34.  I chose not to do anything special this year but my co-workers made it special for me.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Getting more work done on my tattoos!

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

Same as usual: comfy casual.  I like simple, I don’t do complicated.

32. What kept you sane?

Painting, photography, Nick, my kids at work.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

Pauline M, the Quebec election and everything that it stood for.

34. Who did you miss?

Jason as I always do.

35. Who was the best new person you met?


36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.

Do what makes you happy.

DYAC/Drunk texts-Stephafied

I have an android smart phone.  I have to say, it’s pretty awesome and has come in handy on more then one occasion.  Although I refuse to be one of those people who is constantly on their phone updating their shit.  I have better things to do with my time.  I’m also pretty careless with where I leave it sometimes.

Maybe I just don’t want to be found? 

Anyway the website DYAC (damn you auto correct)  is usually full of win.  While I don’t have an iphone (so I can’t screen shot them) I still have that somewhat irritating although occasionally entertaining predictive text/auto correct feature on my phone.  Sometime’s it’s just because I’m drunk…  In any case, I can always e-mail the convo’s and sometimes they have merit.  This is one of those times.

My favorite: Between Adam & I: 

Where do you live now?
Near Montreal pussy station.
Is that a new strip club?  
Ha ha what? No. Oh fucking phone.  No Montreal Ouest, as in the train station.  There is however a strip club up the street.

Between Wayne (my gay boyfriend) & I.  I was trying to convince him to come out to the bar :
Shit sidelines looks busy now lol or is that the whole bar outside lol/
Nope it’s Busty. I mean busy lol.
(Every time I went to type in BUSY, it would auto correct it to Busty)
You are busty lol.
Lol yeah I know
ha ha.
Babe you still awake? come see mrerree!
I am not going out I am hun hunny sorry lol.
I’m sure you are babe but what does the size of your cock have to do with anything? 😉
Not my cock omg hungover helllooooooooo omg lololol. And I am not hung lmfao bahhaha.
That’s not what I heard.

Same night, between Amy & I (I was well on my way at this point, thank God Amy’s a teacher and clearly speaks drunkennease too):
Is it busy and where abouts r u sitting?
It’s busty enough and were buy the frontal.
Near where we were yesterday?
Yeah but closer to the stage, my mom’s preggers spot (was supposed to say preferred).
Ok. Ryan says he knows where u are.
Lol K. Dandra’s here (my sister Sandra)



Medusa (of a different sort)

So I’m in Cambridge, ON for the holidays.  I was born here, most of my family still resides here so of course when Christmas rolls around I make the obligatory trip home.  Which never ceases to amuse me more often then not.  The vast differences between Cambridge and Montreal are huge.  Cambridge has a population of about 130,000 vs Montreal which has a population of  1,620,693 as of the 2006 census.  You’re likely wondering why this matters…  Let alone what the hell this has to do with Medusa.

I’ll tell you why…

When I walk the streets of Montreal, I seem to ‘blend in’ more.  It’s a larger city, which is also a lot more open minded then my hometown, which seems to be on occasion, still stuck in the dark ages.  So the other night when I was at a local bar with some friends, standing outside.  I happened to grab the attention of someone and he took one look at my face and zeroed in on my Medusa piercing.  The rapt, childlike fascination he had with my piercing was pretty priceless (I’m going to assume he was also pretty drunk)   He said something to the effect of: “Holy fuck, don’t tell me that’s pierced for real!?!” ‘Yes, it most certainly is.’  “Wow!  That must of hurt?” Your damn right it did (most painful piercing I have to date as a matter of fact)’ “Wow! That’s crazy.  Oh my God, you have your tongue pierced too? wow!”  “You must be crazy!?!” Me: With the most diabolical, sinister look on my face that I could muster (think Jack Nicholson in the Shining) ; looked at him dead on and said: “Why yes, yes I am”.

The look on his face was so precious it was priceless!  He looked frightened ha ha!  He looked at me on last time with that same awe struck look on his face and said “wow, I should stay away from you!!” Enter creeper face  and I said: “Yes, yes you should.” He looked so terrified I thought he was going to wet his pants!  He hightailed it back into the bar so fast and I’m pretty sure he left soon after that.

Amy & I got a good laugh out of that one!  That’s the beautiful thing about being on vacation, even if it’s just in your hometown.  You don’t live here, so it doesn’t matter what you do or how much you mess with drunk people (within reason of course, I don’t set out to be malicious in any way) it can be pretty entertaining.

It’s a shame that it wasn’t summer or at the very least warm enough to warrant showing this off:

My Medusa tattoo

 She tends to freak people out.  Medusa is pretty awesome all around mind you.  Too bad I didn’t posses the ability to turn people into stone.  Not all the time mind you, just on occasion. I’m thinking that would come in handy someday. No?

In any case, it’s good to be me 😉