Life’s little conversation gems…

OK so bear in mind I had a major fat kid vacation so my healthier habits basically went into the toilet.  As a result I’m making a conscious effort to do a little better.  One of those things would be to consume more water, I’m tired of feeling lethargic and dehydrated.  So this is a good thing, having to pee all the time, not so much.  As a result of this, this conversation happened today at work.

Me: Good lord, I need to pee again!

Co-worker: Happens to people who are pregnant.

Me: Nope, that’s *not* possible.

C0-worker: Sure it is, my friend got pregnant and she was on the pill.

Me: (laughing) No (insert co-workers name here), I can’t get pregnant because I don’t have anyone to have sex with.

C0-worker: *Awkward silence*  Soooooo lunch?

We both had a good laugh over the whole thing.  Maybe you just had to be there?


Saturday Shenanigans

I have the most ridiculously random, yet totally awesome life EVER!

No really.

I do.

I hosted a day long fundraiser at my place yesterday to help out a friend.  Started at 9am and ran until some obscure hour in the wee hours of the morning.  It was by and large one of the Best. Saturday’s. Ever.  It started out innocently enough, get up, get stuff done.  Or so that was the plan at the very least.

So for those of you who missed it, here’s the highlights in no particular order with no back story included:

  • My superintendent told me that I could get around the no lease clause of no dogs allowed YAY!  Except right now I can’t but someday.  Having your super think that you’re hot has it’s privileges.
  • I got blatantly hit on by some 400lb dude who said it was totally OK if I was his stalker.
  • Which led to me throwing up in my mouth a little and saying (after many drinks later) ‘Can you imagine me trying to have sex with that guy?  I don’t think I could bear the weight of him being on top, I’m not flexible enough nor are my legs long enough to be on top and my knees are bad’ which if you were there, you’d get it & laugh because everyone else did.  Fuck you if you think I’m being mean (because I admit that I totally was insensitive) because it was pretty damn funny if you were there.
  • Got to meet some of my awesome neighbors which makes me feel damn good about this apartment. With the exception of having to meet one due to Jackson finding her poor cat on the road, who we invited over for drinks.
  • Poor person’s cat who died?  HOT!  OMFG This is one of the hottest woman I have ever seen!  Which also prompted me to say, after total inebriation: ‘ I’m mostly straight but I would totally tap that!’ I also totally would because she’s freaking hot!
  • Headlocks were had.
  • Boobs were groped.
  • Pants were lost.
  • Such comments like the back of your head NEEDS to be smooched in my boobs (yes that was me) were said.
  • Filters and indoor voices became a thing of the past.
  • Wine, rum & beer was bought, consumed and spilled.
  • Smoking…  Lot’s & lot’s of smoking.
  • Lot’s of lesbians.
  • Lewd and totally inappropriate comments were said. (Which if you know me is the norm, but when I’m that shitfaced it’s even worse)
  • Tattoos were flashed.
  • Cast members from Webdreams were met.
  • The word naughty became one of the most used words of the evening.
  • Smoking hot photo-shoots were planned.
  • My friends wife ended up in my bed.
And much, MUCH more.  Which I can not disclose.  Because what happens on Shitfaced Saturday’s at Steph’s Stays at SSS.
Partying with me & select friends really IS that awesome.
After all  membership friendship has it’s privileges. 😉


Random updates!

I’m too stressed out and far too distracted to write a “real” entry.  Although I have been a bit of a slacker so let me fill you in super quick!

I’m still fighting with the post office.

I went to CHOM‘S uber exclusive, invitation only Hell-O-Ween party which was freaking awesome!  I’ll add some of my own images in a minute.

I got my butt tattooed!  A super cute Halloween themed Dracula type bat on my right cheek.  I WILL have pictures when it’s healed.  Because I know you all want to see it.

My friend Paul is getting MARRIED!  To a super hot cop none the less!  YAY for gay marriages being legal in Canada!  I bought him this book that Tracy mentioned and as Paul pointed out, it didn’t work 😉  We got a pretty good laugh out of that one!

Although in not so happy news, I feel like I’m playing where’s Pete?  You know the real life version of Where’s Waldo? Except the person your searching for isn’t named Waldo.  I’m getting kind of worried…  We had dinner plans on Friday that were canceled out due to Pete having some personal distress.  So we settled on Sunday instead, I said I would text him while I was getting my butt tattooed and we would settle on a time.  Except I haven’t heard from him since. 🙁

Which is rather un-usual since it’s not like him to miss dinner, least of all one of my dinners.

Awesome dinner that Pete missed...

It’s not like I keep tabs on him, because I don’t.  We each have our own lives.  Except that it’s like he’s dropped off the face of the planet and you know the thought of filling a missing persons report actually has crossed my mind.  As neurotic as that sounds, I am starting to worry about him. A lot.  It’s making me break out in hives 🙁

Halloween was pretty epic!  Check it out: