Saturday Shenanigans

I have the most ridiculously random, yet totally awesome life EVER!

No really.

I do.

I hosted a day long fundraiser at my place yesterday to help out a friend.  Started at 9am and ran until some obscure hour in the wee hours of the morning.  It was by and large one of the Best. Saturday’s. Ever.  It started out innocently enough, get up, get stuff done.  Or so that was the plan at the very least.

So for those of you who missed it, here’s the highlights in no particular order with no back story included:

  • My superintendent told me that I could get around the no lease clause of no dogs allowed YAY!  Except right now I can’t but someday.  Having your super think that you’re hot has it’s privileges.
  • I got blatantly hit on by some 400lb dude who said it was totally OK if I was his stalker.
  • Which led to me throwing up in my mouth a little and saying (after many drinks later) ‘Can you imagine me trying to have sex with that guy?  I don’t think I could bear the weight of him being on top, I’m not flexible enough nor are my legs long enough to be on top and my knees are bad’ which if you were there, you’d get it & laugh because everyone else did.  Fuck you if you think I’m being mean (because I admit that I totally was insensitive) because it was pretty damn funny if you were there.
  • Got to meet some of my awesome neighbors which makes me feel damn good about this apartment. With the exception of having to meet one due to Jackson finding her poor cat on the road, who we invited over for drinks.
  • Poor person’s cat who died?  HOT!  OMFG This is one of the hottest woman I have ever seen!  Which also prompted me to say, after total inebriation: ‘ I’m mostly straight but I would totally tap that!’ I also totally would because she’s freaking hot!
  • Headlocks were had.
  • Boobs were groped.
  • Pants were lost.
  • Such comments like the back of your head NEEDS to be smooched in my boobs (yes that was me) were said.
  • Filters and indoor voices became a thing of the past.
  • Wine, rum & beer was bought, consumed and spilled.
  • Smoking…  Lot’s & lot’s of smoking.
  • Lot’s of lesbians.
  • Lewd and totally inappropriate comments were said. (Which if you know me is the norm, but when I’m that shitfaced it’s even worse)
  • Tattoos were flashed.
  • Cast members from Webdreams were met.
  • The word naughty became one of the most used words of the evening.
  • Smoking hot photo-shoots were planned.
  • My friends wife ended up in my bed.
And much, MUCH more.  Which I can not disclose.  Because what happens on Shitfaced Saturday’s at Steph’s Stays at SSS.
Partying with me & select friends really IS that awesome.
After all  membership friendship has it’s privileges. 😉

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What keeps me busy…

Has also been keeping me sane.

My boss asked me once how I know how to do all the stuff that I do.  Necessity is the mother of invention for one thing and not only that, I am a doer and a thinker.  I’m also exceptionally smart and I work with my hands.  I have yet to meet a Chef (including myself) who couldn’t at least “MacGyver” something to make it work until we could call in a professional.  I’m also an artist.  Life isn’t one dimensional to me and instead of being a princess and throwing my hands up in the air saying “OMFG THIS IS BROKEN SOMEONE COME FIX IT” My first thought that usually comes to mind is:

How can I fix/do this myself?

Being in a creative industry also helps.  I use several forms of raw materials and turn them into something else.  Sometimes they’re brilliant, sometimes they’re a total train wreck.  However, I learn and keep on learning because I enjoy my independence and the ability to do things for me simply because I can.  I do not relish in being helpless and weak (either mentally or physically) and will try just about anything once.

Including chocolate beer.  Which was a mistake needless to say…

But I digress.

The best part of being a Chef?

Having one kick ass imagination!

Behold:

Book details!

OK so as many of you know, I have a book already published through blurb.  Which is grossly over-priced and VERY inconsistent with their printing so needless to say, I’m NOT happy!

I found a fabulous independent, not  for profit publisher through a co-worker in North Bay ON.  Who’s offering me a MUCH better book at a FAR more reasonable price!  So here’s the details that your all dying to know:

It’s 8.5 x11″ (my old one was 6.25×6.25)

It’s spiral bound so it will lay flat and co-operate more then my old book which was perfect bound (as in all the pages are glued into the spine, not ideal for a cook book)

It has over 200, yes that’s TWO hundred plus recipes inside.  Including: Appetizers & finger foods, soups, salads, comfort food & mains, desserts, cakes, cookies, Darcy’s delectables, drinks, marinades, dressings, vinaigrette’s, biscuits, dough and more!

Lots of full color images

It’s printed on premium, card stock paper so it’s far more durable!

It’s for charity!  My foundation at that in case you were wondering.

Fun food facts, substitutions, definitions, conversion charts and related things.

It’s practical!  Everything in the book you can find at most local grocery stores without having to go to some gourmet store and pay out the ass for some foreign spice you’ve never heard of let alone tasted or something narsty like squid ink.  (No thanks!)

Some delightful smart-ass commentary from yours truly!

All copies will be autographed (which can be personalized for you) and each book is a numbered, limited edition book!

I’m not going with a huge publishing company that will sell on my behalf or anything like that.  So this book will NOT be sold in stores, if there’s copies left over, I might try and sell them on Amazon since I will have an ISBN number.

The cost for each book is $25.00 CAD.  Plus the cost of shipping should you require it.  As much as I would love to hand out free copies to everyone *I* pay for this book too, hell even I don’t get a free copy and while she’s VERY reasonable it’s not feasible or affordable enough for me to do so.  Trust me when I say that I’m not making a killing off of them, because I assure you I am not.

I would have to sell them for considerably more ($30-35.00 each) to make any real money.  This is just a side project I did because I could and I don’t feel that it’s right to ass rape people for a crappy book full of pretty pictures and little to no use-able content.  I would sell it for cost, however it’s for my charity to raise money for our not for profit status and some of it will be going directly to suicide related not for profit foundations as well.

Here’s a shot of the cover!

BOOK!

So if you don’t live in Montreal and would like a copy, please e-mail ASAP so we can work out payment details and I will have it shipped in time for Christmas!  I Do have a pay-pal account, accept money transfers and if those methods don’t work, we can discuss it!