My latest rant and an e-mail to share

You know I really loathe and despise when people come into my restaurant and claim that they have allergies to something random like onions. Please! You honestly think that were dumb enough to buy into that bullshit, a simple no onions please would suffice. Yes of course there are people in the world whom I am sure allergic to onions and such but NOT that many people!

When your throwing your garbage out, get a fucking clue! If it’s over flowing, move your lazy ass onto the second one located a mere half foot away from the other one. When i’m changing the garbage don’t fucking line up behind me to wait, or attempt to throw your garbage in there when there isn’t a bag in it either. Yes one of the hydro guys were about to do that, these people are supposed to take care of my hydro? Really not comforting, not in the least! Also jackass don’t waltz in my restaurant 5 minutes before closing an expect to sit there and fucking eat! Yes my french sucks ass and I’m sorry but I do try. However don’t sit there and chew my ass out for it!

So moving along, I got this great e-mail today and feel the need to pass it on because it is a gem!

Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the
course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints
received from some employees who may be easily offended, this
type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative “TRY SAYING” phrases have been
provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in
an effective manner.

(1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the fuck you’re doing.

(2) TRY SAYING: She’s an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She’s a fucking bitch.

(3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

(4) TRY SAYING: I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.

(5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be shitting me!

(6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with…
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.

(7) TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It’s not my fucking problem.

(8) TRY SAYING: That’s interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?

(9) TRY SAYING: I’m not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won’t work.

(10) TRY SAYING: I’ll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the fuck didn’t you tell me sooner?

(11) TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his ass.

(12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.

(13) TRY SAYING: So you weren’t happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.

(14) TRY SAYING: I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I’m on salary.

(15) TRY SAYING: I don’t think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.

(16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This fucking job sucks.

(17) TRY SAYING: You want ME to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the fuck died and made you boss?

(18) TRY SAYING: He’s somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He’s a prick.

Thank You,

Human Resources

Its been a while…

And it will continue to be a while because I am without a PC dammit! I am also boderline poor at the moment, so I won’t be able to up-date for a while. I am going home for christmas though so I can use my mom’s computer thank God!

Anyway in the meantime, happy holidays to all of my readers regardless of how you celebrate it!

Get smashed, enjoy the snow and irritate your friends by buying them sex toys 😉