The little things, things that happen for a reason and why I choose Champix…

Yes, they all tie in together. ¬†Really ūüôā

I was out having breakfast this morning when I over heard the person behind me ask the guy at another table if he had a cigarette. ¬†Other person smugly replied, you got a quarter? ¬†To which he said nope, sorry I do not. ¬†Again with the smugness ‘I guess not for you then’. ¬†I sat there thinking, what a douche bag. ¬†What if that was you and you had no smokes, no money and wanted one? ¬†So I’m sitting there thinking, this guy is innocently sitting there with his coffee and the thought crossed my mind, what if that was me? Also being a smoker and coffee drinker, they both go hand in hand.

I reached into my purse, pulled out a cigarette and handed it over no questions asked. ¬†His face lit up and he said to me’ Well that was un-expected, thank you!’ ¬†He looked so happy! ¬†That was nice, because I knew that he truly appreciated the gesture and he didn’t even ask me. ¬†He also wasn’t a douche bag about it either. ¬†Sometimes a random act of kindness can make someone’s day suck a little bit less.

Then I went off to the clinic and to my delight and surprise, it was almost empty and I got to see the Dr. within the hour. We discussed my previous attempts on trying to quit and whether or not this was ideal for me. ¬†I was impressed with her professionalism¬†and the fact that she took the time to educate herself about my past history (even though I have a different Dr. within the clinic) and educate me about taking a slightly controversial smoking cessation drug. ¬†I’ve gotten some criticism for deciding to go this route and before I get more allow me to fill everyone in on my previous attempts to quit:

  • Cold turkey was a bust on numerous occasions. ¬†No matter how determined I was, I always ended up failing. ¬†Although I know numerous people who have quit this way (including my mom) and I salute you for it. ¬†I also admire your dedication and determination as well. ¬†The longest I made it was 24 days. ¬†Then I caved.
  • The patch: Gave me nightmares, made me break out in a rash and several other things. ¬†Needless to say, it wasn’t ideal for me. ¬†That’s fine, it’s -NOT- for everyone.
  • The gum: my father used this method to quit and has been smoke free ever since. ¬†I tried it once, it burned my mouth and the taste, good lord it was so awful that there was no way I was doing it again! ¬†That’s fine, it’s -NOT- for everyone.
  • Laser acupuncture. ¬†Again this worked briefly, and I think that if I was to do it again it -would- work. ¬†Except the only Doctor I trust to perform this procedure is really far out of the way and hard to get to as well. ¬†I think had the circumstances been different (at the time, it was less then a month after Jason killed himself and I also lost my job) and less stressful then I might have made it. ¬†I had a friend who went to the same Dr. and she held out for 3 years until she had to go on a plane for the first time and figured that one cigarette couldn’t hurt. ¬†But it did. ¬†She’s still a smoker today.
  • Homeopathic remedies: tried that too and needless to say, it was a FAIL. ¬†That was back in high school.
  • Zyban: That. Was. Hell. ¬†Insomnia was the worst. ¬†I didn’t sleep for days, I worked these insanely long shifts instead so while the money was good, it wasn’t worth it. ¬†Zyban is something that I would strongly recommend against actually. ¬†It really was THAT horrible.

I’ve smoked for 22 years now. ¬†It’s NOT an easy habit to give up. ¬†In the past two years alone (never mind what happened prior to this) I’ve had to deal with:

  • Several friends‚Äô committing suicide.
  • PTSD
  • Depression (which thankfully has been ‘cured’ through therapy).
  • A slumlord/an apartment that I hated with every fibre of my being!
  • various personal issues that are simply too private to include here.

All in all, a lot of emotional battles. ¬†I’m tired of fighting and while I know this isn’t going to be easy, it’s my last ditch attempt. Needless to say, I am terribly addicted to nicotine. ¬†I need help, this HAS. GOT. TO. STOP. ¬†I have debated taking this drug for a really, really long time. ¬†I’ve made a point to do my own research, I grilled my Dr. and two different pharmacists about this drug. ¬†ALL of which took the time to answer all my questions and concerns about taking this drug and how to offset any side effects which aren’t pleasant to deal with. ¬†However if it helps me to quit smoking, then I’m ALL for it! ¬†The side effects also force me to live a healthier life, I need to consume more water and eat better to help offset some of the side effects so there are a lot of pluses to be had. ¬†Also the success rate is high and that also gives me hope! ¬†Especially since I am at the end of my rope. ¬†I went to my regular pharmacy and it’s closed on Sunday’s so I said to hell with this and went to another one. ¬†Also picked up TP on sale, which is awesome because I was out & it’s the good stuff. ¬†Also got a sweet deal on my prescription as well! ¬†With the RAMQ aka provincial prescription plan accepting this drug I only paid $28.00 for a 2 week supply, can’t beat that!

So I’m not saying that there -is- a magic cure to quitting. ¬†You have to -WANT- to quit, which I do. ¬†I hope that this time is my time to do so. ¬†For those of you that have managed to quit by other means, good for you! ¬†I’m truly happy that you found a method that works for you. ¬†They didn’t work for me, c’est la vie. ¬†If you feel the need to be all smug and self righteous about it, then you can go fuck yourself. ¬†After I high face you in the face with a baseball bat. ¬†For real ūüôā

However if you want to encourage me, even if you don’t agree with my method of quitting. ¬†Please do, I need all the help and support I can get and I will willingly accept it. ¬†There is no right or wrong way to quit, the important thing is finding something that works FOR YOU. ¬†I hope that this works for me as well as it has for others!

All I can do is try and that’s exactly what I’m going to do!



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