Please pass the eye bleach…

Before I totally ruin your day/appetite allow me to introduce you to the new man in my life  🙂  His name is Shamrock, he’s pretty awesome & I only have him for a limited time.  This adorable bundle of cute was surrendered by his owner who moved to Singapore for 5 years and couldn’t afford the 10 grand (yes, ten thousand dollars) to have him tag along.  After having Anna step in and save him literally hours from being gassed, he’s a pretty happy boy:

Shamrock!

Handsome little man isn’t he?  He smiles like that ALL the time.  I do adore him & he’s cute/funny/sweet company but sadly I can’t offer him the kind of home that he needs for the long term.  I KNOW this & I wish people would stop telling me that I should keep him when I know that I can’t.  I do OK on my own, but I do enjoy my freedom and not only that his food/toys/vet bills are being either donated and/or paid for by someone else.  Unlike some people who adopt animals, I do have a realistic approach to this situation.  I do hope that he finds a good forever home soon, he deserves it!

In other news…

I cancelled my account on a certain site.  Clearly in a moment of what can only be described as sheer stupidity (one of which I have 0 recollection of) I apparently gave someone my e-mail address.  Well not the one I use on a day to day basis mind you.  The I might get back to you but likely not e-mail address.  You know the one where you just use your initals or some odd ball variation of your name.

 We all have one of those.    

So I rarely check this account and there is this e-mail from someone who said why did you cancel your account on (insert site name here)?  I thought to myself who the fuck are you?  I almost never use that e-mail anymore for anything and I know that I haven’t given it out in a really long time because of it.  Furthermore, I don’t date red heads.

EVER.

Yes I am a natural red head, however so is my father (ick) and I quite simply do not find it attractive in any way shape or form.  Redheaded woman are smoking hot, men yeahhhhhhh not so much…

Anyway back to the story at hand.  There’s a file attachment.  No big deal, could be his face for all I know and I was thinking   hoping   praying to anyone who would listen that that’s all it was.  Except I was wrong and I of course had to open the e-mail itself.  G-Mail of course provides you with a decent sized thumbnail of what that attachment is.

Behold:

This was edited by moi. You're welcome!

I threw up in my mouth a little.  I actually thought that I was going to vomit my dinner all over my desk in a projectile fashion.  So of course I had to share the horror.  Which garnered the following responses:

  • Me: OMFG I’m going to vomit, so much for dinner. P: Don’t eat & then inbox, sketchy scene Me:Clearly
  • J: What has been seen cannot be unseen. Me: No, no it can not.
  • A: Holy god! I need therapy and a hug now! I’m in shock!  Me: Me too A, me too!
  • C:Okay, I’ll bite. Send it this way. A: Oh gods no. Save yourself the torture! Me: Hold on C, I’m blogging about it A: I’m still crying about it.  (Who can blame her! So am I!)
  • The other J: (whom might I add claimed that he’s seen some pretty sick shit before) proclaimed this: OK you got me, I literally just threw up in my mouth a little.

The worst part of all:

He e-mailed me again and asked me if I liked the picture and SENT IT TO ME AGAIN!  I am scarred for life now!  I am tempted to write him back and say: “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you because after the last one that you sent me, I gouged out my eyes with a rusty nail and I have scheduled a lobotomy to forever block out this incident in all of it’s entirety.

I just might.

*Here’s some eye bleach* Hope you weren’t eating when you seen that… 

One thought on “Please pass the eye bleach…

  1. avatar Ali Marie says:

    Steph, I love you!! Because of this, I am now going to be running complete background checks on any and all potential suitors. I might even throw in a credit check, including a few landlord references, just for safe measure. Eye bleach wasn’t enough for this guy…he should be ashamed. Really. The only thing that would have made this better, is if he was pointy boots guy. Just sayin. Maybe it’s the Chantix talking, but dammmmmmmmmmmn!! LMFAO Love you girly!! <3 Ali

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