Jesus Christ, I swear to God my life is rarely dull!  Last night, I went over to a friends house for her birthday which was fine.  We all decided to go out to the bar, so I opted to go home first so I could change and call a friend of mine to see if they wanted to tag along.  So that’s all fine and dandy except that my phone died when I got back downtown trying to hunt down Lyndsay to find out which bar she ended up at, so that was a epic FAIL moment.  Couldn’t use my buddy’s phone because I don’t know her phone number offhand, so I feel bad because well that was exceptionally rude, however un-intentional.

Anyway ended up back at my house half wasted already and the friend and I decided to hang out and finish the night off.  Got an epic case of the munchies, decided to order pizza so that’s fine I order it online and we wait, keep drinking.  So by the time he get’s there I’m practically comatose by this point.  This is where the drama begins…

I open the door and I swear to God he looked starstruck! He appeared to be late forties/early fifties and was considerably shorter then I was.
He’s French, says to me Stephanie? I was like yeah.  Oh are you English or French?  Does your boyfriend live here? How come your alone? (said friend was in my room playing the memory foam on my bed at this time).  I was starting to get REALLY irritated at this point and I said can I pay now? That’ll be on debit (wondering where in the hell his hand held debit machine is) and he kept asking me all kinds of FAR too personal questions to be small talk. I mean really dropping off anything should take no longer then 2 minutes MAX unless I need to sign/pay extra for something or whatever. Then he tried to one arm hug me, I was like WTF? Dodged that bullet and again handed him my card and proclaimed loudly I would like to pay please. Finally he swipes my card but he got all nervous and starts fumbling around and did something wrong so had to swipe it like 4 times before it was finally processed properly.

I’m really pissed at this point I just want my bill and for this guy to get the fuck out of my hall. So I asked him for my bill and he’s standing there stammering and trying to talk in English and can’t quite get the words out right and I’m trying REALLY hard to be polite because I know what a pain in the ass last minute orders can be, I used to work there when I lived in Ontario. Then he says to me oh I just live over in NDG were neighbors, I’m like oh that’s nice, well thanks have a good night thinking fuck it he can keep the receipt.   I turned away to close the door and the next thing I know I’m in a headlock and he’s trying to kiss me and ask me out on a date.  He had his arm around my neck so damn tight I could barely breathe let alone do anything else! Thank God my friend picked that moment to stop playing with my bed and came into my livingroom and grabbed me by the waist and yanked me away from him and yelled loudly get your fucking hands off my girlfriend! Which I am of course not, but it worked at the time.

So finally he left, thank God! My friend was like are you OK and I’m thinking to myself no, it really bothered me because it was SO INVASIVE!

Had I been stone cold sober I would have knocked the shit out of him! Its on thing to hit on someone or pay them a compliment but that was just WRONG, SO VERY WRONG! That pretty much ruined my night because I honestly felt nauseous after that. That thankfully passed and by this point its almost 2am and I opted to go to bed.  As I’m walking into my bedroom to get said friend some pillows and what not since I wasn’t letting him drive & made him sleep on my couch; my intercom goes off!

Its the fucking pizza guy! So friend get’s up and hits the talk button and says who’s this? I know *I* wasn’t expecting anyone and very few people actually know where I live so that was a little disturbing.   I didn’t quite catch what he said because it was garbled and my friend says she’s busy fuck off! He still wouldn’t leave so he goes running outside after the pizza guy who had to smarts to leave pretty damn fast after that.  So I e-mailed them, not that I expect Pizza-Pizza to take me seriously or anything.  In hindsight I wish I would have thought to ask him HIS name and I should have phoned the police which I will do if he ever shows up here again.

This is *MY* home and I will NOT tolerate such things under ANY circumstances! For you to assume that its ANYWHERE NEAR OK TO TOUCH ME is asking for trouble! Everyone has 3 feet of personal space and should be respected at ALL times. Unless your a friend, my tattoo artist or I’m having sex with you, KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF ME! I didn’t invite him into my home, he was invited into my building and he violated that and I am currently deeply disturbed by this.  I’m proud of this apartment and what I have done with it and the fact that I made it in spite of the fact that a few people thought that I wouldn’t.   Now I feel almost as if that personal satisfaction has been tainted in some way and I personally feel just a little violated.