Clearing something up…

OK first of all, I forgot to mention this a while ago so I’m saying something about it now.  When you like someone (doesn’t matter the gender) and  you are so socially in-adequate for a number of reasons that your not getting any…  Interrogating the person that you like by asking “what went wrong in the last relationship(s) that you had?” is NOT. OK. EVER.  First of all I at least happen to be smart enough to know that your just making a lame really bad attempt at trying not to be “that guy” as in the guy(s) I’ve broken up with…  Everyone has a past, that’s just the way it is.  So yes its bound to come up in conversation once in a while for whatever the reason.  Doesn’t mean that we/they’re not over it (because chances are we are) its just a part of our life.   That’s just the way that it is…  However sometimes those subjects are touchy for whatever the reason and can on occasion induce fits of rage and are best left un-said.  Its one thing to be curious about the person your interested in but making them feel like they should be in an interrogation room is not.

So let’s talk about my ex “husband” just to clear this up.  Not that I really feel that this is anyone’s business per say, its not exactly a secret either.  The situation as a whole is a tad complicated and I get tired of explaining it, so from here on out if you don’t read my blog, then I ain’t telling you.  When I met him I still lived in Ontario and he lived here.  My past isn’t all that “pure and innocent” as some people would like to believe (sorry but it is what it is and made me the person I am today).   Yes I did have one very UGLY abusive relationship among other ones that just didn’t work out for whatever the reason.  Anyway we became fast friends & he had partially jokingly said you should move to Montreal and start over.  Little did he know I actually thought that was an amazing idea!  Cambridge has its charms but I was getting sick of the same old, same old and needed a change.  I figured it wouldn’t have been so bad because I had a friend.

That was until we started dating, then it came down to who’s going to live where.  He of course preferred that I moved to Mtl (who can blame him) and I wanted to get away anyway.  So in October of 2003 I came to visit him and fell in love with Montreal.  His parents were super religious (his father is a minister) and they don’t believe in the whole sex/living together before marriage thing (this will be come relevant in a minute).  During said visit to Montreal that fall I seen the apartment that I would soon make my home and we got engaged.  So then we set the date, started making plans for my move and the wedding.  His parents posed a problem so we had to lie and say that I was staying with a friend in Lasalle (which at the time, I didn’t even know where Lasalle was) until we got married.

I moved here on February 21st 2004 and even though I was living with him we had to maintain that ruse that  I was living with my imaginary friend and leaving all my furniture and what not with him at the apt. we had.  Got settled in, got a job and a car blah blah blah.  So in June that same year I had to go back to Ontario to tie up some loose ends and we told everyone that we “eloped” at city hall in Ontario.  Because we were originally planning on getting legally married in Ontario because then I could assume his last name (because I HATE mine) except we never did at that point because we couldn’t afford it ($300.00 with the license/getting married at city hall) at that time so we figured we would a day before the actual wedding.   This way I could live with him freely (read without his parents hassling us, who didn’t even live ON the island).

So my car needed a ton of repairs.  Caught on fire once, replaced the entire exhaust system, brakes, leaf spring blah blah blah.  Before we were due to leave to go to Ontario where we were getting married something got replaced on the car and the mechanic at Midas pointed out the ball joints on my front axle were due to go at any time and they needed to be replaced along with a few other minor things before it would be safe to make that long of a trip.  There went the $300.00 we had saved for the license and the actual “wedding” at city hall to make it legal.  Turns out we didn’t have enough time anyway due to a million delays here in Montreal.

We asked his dad to preform the ceremony but he couldn’t legally marry us in Ontario without someone from a religious order from Ontario in attendance which is why we were planning on going that route but his whole family thought we were already married (we even had the rings) and we were just “going through the motions” of the ceremony and having a reception.  So yes I had the dress, we had the rings and the whole nine yards, it was just never made legal.  The only “legal” marriage we had was strictly common law and nothing more.  So technically I was married, we just never bother making that happen on paper.  Sounds confusing?  I know, try telling/explain that a 100 times!  So in the end, we split up but I did consider him to be my husband in every sense of the word.  Why we broke up isn’t relevant, it got ugly for a while be we have since sorted that out and even though were not best friends I no longer wish that he would get hit by a bus. We have both moved on with our lives and I’ve been over it for a very long time.  The memories are bittersweet, just another chapter in my life story.

Since I’ve been asked on numerous occasions for pictures since I don’t have any posted (well duh were not together anymore)  here’s a few to satisfy the curious:

In any case, it was one hell of a night!  Even though its said and done, people are still talking about it lol.

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