I have a poster art print thingy in my living room that I think is simply stunning.  I’d post an image but Pete still has my camera that somehow got wedged underneath the seat of his car.  Thankfully out of the clutches of Bandit the designer shoe chewing dog.

But I digress.  Some of my friends think its creepy, some people don’t “get it” but they like it.  Others think its just kind of wrong given how Jason committed suicide.  However I sense that there is a correlation between my buying that particular print and his death (as Pete once presented forth to me and I did ponder this) seeing as how I got it two days after he died, while I was at the tattoo convention.

Something about it sucks you in.

I think its beautiful personally.

Its a depiction of a woman standing in front of some cardiogram graph thing with a beautiful tattoo on her hand going up her arm, a row of rose thorns around her neck causing her to bleed as she’s smiling and holding a revolver to the side of her head.  I was captivated by this image, something about it spoke volumes to me and I had to have it.  I remember when I purchased it, the gentleman selling it to me pointed to the gun and said:

“It’s just a prop”

I remember thinking in one of  my grief stricken moments I wish Jason’s was just a prop.  It however was not.

Anyway, I can’t afford no fancy frame for this oddly sized sucker so I went to Zellers and purchased a poster frame that’s really just a piece of Plexiglas with a backing and the four sides that are all removable.  Except it doesn’t always co-operate like it should.

Of course.

I was standing in my kitchen earlier this evening and I heard what can only be described as a ripping noise and I looked behind me and all I could see was this insane print swinging to & fro.  One of the sides had come away from the wall (it was being held in place with blue tac to help keep it straight on the wall because it doesn’t lie flat.)  Then I got to thinking…

Perhaps its the new book that I’m reading?  Its called follow, to summarize its a creepy book about a woman who’s haunted by visits from dead people.  Then I got to thinking about the conversation that Ms. Jackson and I had a few days after Jason’s demise and how she told me that if there was life after death then Jason would know how much I’m hurting.  I got to thinking about this last night, more so because of something I wanted to do/should have done in my last e-mail but didn’t.  So I thought to myself you know, I really do hope that there is life after death because even though he would see my world of hurt, he would know just how much I loved him too.

So then this whole poster thing happened and I ain’t going to lie, it Creep-ed. Me. Right. The. Fuck. Out.  I looked at her and something about that print made my skin crawl.  Between my nerves, my stalker, that strange (but good) book I’m reading, haunted encounters I have had in the past (I’ll save that story for another day) and loosing my best friend I thought to myself what if a ghost comes to visit you and you’re in the middle of something?

Like having sex for instance.

Do they stick around and watch?

Is there porn on the other side?

Strange to ponder I know but I got to thinking about this at random.  Then I thought to myself as I was walking around with no pants on, is he here?  Was that some sort of sign from him?

I’m just not down with the deceased seeing my O face I guess 😉