{"id":1827,"date":"2012-04-16T21:29:55","date_gmt":"2012-04-17T01:29:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/?p=1827"},"modified":"2012-04-18T21:34:53","modified_gmt":"2012-04-19T01:34:53","slug":"concussions-helmets-porn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/?p=1827","title":{"rendered":"Concussions, helmet\\’s & porn…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yeah I know, totally random. That\\’s the story of my life and generally the theme of my blog. Unless you\\’re new here, you know that already. \u00a0I have a habit of saying the wrong thing and it\\’s usually not at a good time. \u00a0Or it\u00a0just\u00a0comes out wrong, it\\’s a gift.<\/p>\n

Not entirely sure where I was going with that, but anyway. \u00a0It\\’s dawned on me that I should wear a helmet, with a built in sneeze guard. \u00a0Two weeks ago, I got sneezed on. In. The. Face. \u00a0Some of it got in my mouth!<\/em> \u00a0Yeah I know, gross. It\\’s a job hazard. \u00a0I thought I had dodged the sickness bullet…<\/p>\n

Hell no!<\/h1>\n

I took that \\’bullet\\’ to the face, which essentially destroyed my\u00a0Easter\u00a0weekend. \u00a0Not that I give a shit about the actual holiday, however long weekend, a paid day off? Yes please! \u00a0I was excited, until Wed rolled around and by Friday (good Friday my ass!) I was contemplating throwing myself off of an overpass in rush hour. \u00a0I could see it coming and I was hopeless to do anything about it. \u00a0I hate, truly hate being sick. \u00a0I dislike being\u00a0vulnerable in any form. Even writing that word makes me break out in a rash (OK\u00a0not really but still…<\/em>) but I still held onto the faint hope that perhaps it wouldn\\’t be as bad as I anticipated.<\/p>\n

It was worse actually.<\/p>\n

I haven\\’t been that sick since my early twenties and had viral\u00a0meningitis. \u00a0Although I have to say, the fever induced\u00a0delirium\u00a0was interesting. \u00a0In any case, I was holed up in bed for the better part of three days, totally and utterly disgusted by the things that were happening to my body & what was coming out of it. I\\’ve never used so much\u00a0Kleenex\u00a0in one sitting ever I\\’m sure. \u00a0So anyway, as a result of said illness I had to say no to an invitation from someone because I was still feeling like a train wreck and didn\\’t want to pass it onto them.<\/p>\n

Wed rolls around, i\\’m at work. Still sick, still rocking a fever, still praying for death… \u00a0I\\’m hauling ass to tidy up my kitchen because we had a final inspection the following day and everything needed to be\u00a0perfect. \u00a0One upper cupboard was open and i\\’m not short… \u00a0I closed a lower cupboard and flung my head back and smashed the back of my head. Hard. My head was lopsided and did some pretty interesting things to the appearance of my hair.<\/p>\n

I gave myself a concussion. \u00a0Not a bad one, but one bad enough that my Dr. threatened to give me a helmet deeming it medically\u00a0necessary in case I gave myself a skull fracture. \u00a0So anyway I sent said person that I had to blow off some random text and I won\\’t divulge what went down but it was pretty damn funny. \u00a0I felt bad in a way, but in the same token when you\\’ve been that ill for what felt like forever, you take laughter for granted. \u00a0So I didn\\’t get their response to said text until first thing in the morning, which I made the \\’mistake\\’ of reading while on the bus. \u00a0I started laughing so hard that breathing was a challenge. \u00a0Also made everyone on the bus likely think that I lost my mind or I was \\’special\\’ \ud83d\ude09 \u00a0It made my day though, really. \u00a0Even thinking about it now makes me smile.<\/p>\n

So anyway, I got to thinking about some of the conversations\u00a0I\\’ve\u00a0had with said person and we got to talking about how loud some people can be during sex. I\\’m not a loud person generally speaking overall. My ex roommate however was<\/em>. So much to the point that once I actually threw a pillow into her room, while her and her now husband were having sex and told him to put it over her face… \u00a0So I said to him people watch too much fake porn (what I meant to say was bad porn, for the record) and i\\’ll admit it,\u00a0I\\’ve\u00a0watched my share of porn and some of it\\’s really<\/em> bad. \u00a0Although I\\’ve noticed that there\\’s quite a few common denominators when it comes to porn:<\/p>\n