{"id":1845,"date":"2012-04-26T21:07:45","date_gmt":"2012-04-27T01:07:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/?p=1845"},"modified":"2012-04-26T21:45:16","modified_gmt":"2012-04-27T01:45:16","slug":"reasons-why-i-most-likely-wont-date-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/?p=1845","title":{"rendered":"Reasons why I most likely won\\&#8217;t date you."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Also? I hate my phone. A lot. Smart phone my ass. Sometimes it sends e-mails, usually it chooses not to. Although on the rare occasion that it does, it usually cuts it off at some point. Which is irritating as fuck because sending e-mail via this phone is already enough of a pain in the ass! -End phone rant.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, someone had commented that I hadn\\&#8217;t posted any bad dates as of late. The reason behind that would be this: I haven\\&#8217;t been on any dates of late. Good, bad or otherwise. Things are finally kinda quiet in my life and well needless to say, I\\&#8217;m enjoying the \\&#8217;me\\&#8217; time that comes along with it. \u00a0Aside from the fact that\u00a0I\\&#8217;ve\u00a0been deathly ill and have decided to keep my germs to myself for the most part. \u00a0I\\&#8217;m also really, really picky about who I choose to spend my time with. \u00a0With the sheer number of douchebags out there, who can blame me? \u00a0That being said, here\\&#8217;s my (on going) list of things that will make me likely say no to you if you ask me out on a date:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You feel\u00a0compelled\u00a0to show me your 6-8 pack. \u00a0Unless it\\&#8217;s beer or some other tasty beverage, I really don\\&#8217;t give a shit about how ripped your core is. Really, I don\\&#8217;t.<\/li>\n<li>You send me pictures of your naughty bits. \u00a0*IF* I wanted to see that, I would make it happen. If for some reason <em><strong>you<\/strong><\/em> truly feel that this is\u00a0necessary,\u00a0even\u00a0if <strong><em>I<\/em><\/strong> don\\&#8217;t, make it a good one. \u00a0Likely won\\&#8217;t change my mind in any way, shape or form; however make my free eye candy worth it and hope that I don\\&#8217;t have some underground porn site.<\/li>\n<li>You wear more make up than I do. I\\&#8217;m all for being who you are and all that, I just fail to see the attraction to eye liner.<\/li>\n<li>You\\&#8217;re high\u00a0maintenance. Guys complain that it takes woman eons to get ready. I dated a guy once who took twice as long to get ready. Yes really.<\/li>\n<li>You feel\u00a0compelled\u00a0to wear your pants hanging halfway off your ass. <strong>IT\\&#8217;S NOT ATTRACTIVE! \u00a0 AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT!\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>Pointy shoes. I just can\\&#8217;t deal with this horrendous trend in shoes. As soon as I see them, I feel the need to put bells on them and throw you in a parade with the shriners.<\/li>\n<li>You live at home. I\\&#8217;m almost 34, if you\\&#8217;re still living at home, you\\&#8217;re too young for me. Or you\\&#8217;re a\u00a0mamma\\&#8217;s\u00a0boy and I can\\&#8217;t handle that either.<\/li>\n<li>You go out of your way to tell me how much money you make or the kind of car you drive. I. Don\\&#8217;t. Care.<\/li>\n<li>You play the oral sex card. \u00a0Just because guys <em>claim<\/em> that they\\&#8217;re hurting for oral sex doesn\\&#8217;t mean that we are. Talk is cheap and unless you\\&#8217;re so damn good that it\\&#8217;s mind blowing, \u00a0would make me hit the ceiling good and can <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\">prove it<\/span>; shut it. Don\\&#8217;t sing it, bring it.<\/li>\n<li>You can\\&#8217;t spell or type like a lazy ass fool. I\\&#8217;m very well read, nothing irks me more than someone who can\\&#8217;t spell or can\\&#8217;t be bothered to spell out the entire word. It\\&#8217;s lazy and too much like\u00a0elementary\u00a0school. Grow up.<\/li>\n<li>You lack intellect. I shouldn\\&#8217;t have to explain that.<\/li>\n<li>You can\\&#8217;t hold a conversation. Communication is important.<\/li>\n<li>You\\&#8217;re an idiot. I\\&#8217;m smart. Book\/life\/street smart. You should be too on some level or another. Otherwise the likely hood of us having any type of connection is highly\u00a0improbable. I don\\&#8217;t care if I sound like a snob, intelligence is hot.<\/li>\n<li>You\\&#8217;re <em>considerably<\/em> shorter than I am. \u00a0I\\&#8217;m almost 6 feet tall, I\\&#8217;m also not a jungle gym.<\/li>\n<li>You\\&#8217;re in a\u00a0relationship. I don\\&#8217;t care if your wife\/girlfriend\/significant\u00a0other isn\\&#8217;t doing it for you. \u00a0Find a fuck friend or five to meet your needs. I don\\&#8217;t share, nor do I tolerate cheating.<\/li>\n<li>Don\\&#8217;t have a sense of\u00a0humor. I don\\&#8217;t deal with people who are uptight.<\/li>\n<li>Feel the need to text\/email\/phone me several times a day for no reason at all. It\\&#8217;s irritating.<\/li>\n<li>Have zero respect for my independence. I take care of me. Deal with it.<\/li>\n<li>Have mommy issues. Freud just may have been onto something&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>You tell me that you want to lick all of my tattoos. No. Just no.<\/li>\n<li>You feel the need to pee on me. I have indoor plumbing. Please, feel free to use it.<\/li>\n<li>You masturbate in my bathroom. Yes it\\&#8217;s happened before. How did I find out? They missed. I have a black shower curtain. Do the math.<\/li>\n<li>You want kids. I don\\&#8217;t. That\\&#8217;s an immediate deal breaker right there.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Also? I hate my phone. A lot. Smart phone my ass. Sometimes it sends e-mails, usually it chooses not to. Although on the rare occasion that it does, it usually cuts it off at some point. Which is irritating as fuck because sending e-mail via this phone is already enough of a pain in the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[66,38,64,55],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1845","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-are-you-fing-kidding-me","category-dating","category-deep-thoughts-with-steph","category-stephs-junk"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1845","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1845"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1845\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1845"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1845"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1845"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}