{"id":2182,"date":"2015-06-13T11:41:44","date_gmt":"2015-06-13T15:41:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/?p=2182"},"modified":"2015-06-13T11:52:24","modified_gmt":"2015-06-13T15:52:24","slug":"ciao-36","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/?p=2182","title":{"rendered":"Ciao 36"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>And so a new chapter begins&#8230;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I turned 37 yesterday. \u00a0I got up and the first thing I did was sit there and just think long and hard about what a long, strange and exhausting journey it\\&#8217;s all really been. \u00a0Looking back on everything up until this point, I would have to say that so far 36 was the hardest and challenging years I have ever had.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I lost my job of 4.5 years due to petty betrayal.<\/li>\n<li>I lost my father to cancer\/COPD.<\/li>\n<li>My childhood home, the only home I have ever known has been sold. \u00a0I spent my last night there on June 9th 2015.<\/li>\n<li>People I thought were friends have come and gone and other people I just needed to let go because of their toxic behavior.<\/li>\n<li>I got thrown under the bus more times than I care to count because people don\\&#8217;t have the guts, nor the integrity to admit that they did wrong and I somehow ended up paying for their mistakes and their lies in more ways than one.<\/li>\n<li>I\\&#8217;ve seen far too many people I love suffer a similar heartbreak as mine when it comes to loosing the ones you love, especially a parent. \u00a0Which is a special kind of hell like no other.<\/li>\n<li>My OCD and Anxiety is by and large the most crippling it has ever been and that\\&#8217;s legit scary.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><em>And yet\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I went back to school to finally pursue my dream of being anything but a Chef. \u00a0So I consider myself officially retired from the industry.<\/li>\n<li>I have learned to accept that it\\&#8217;s OK to be anything but.<\/li>\n<li>I was reminded once again that you don\\&#8217;t know how strong you are until it\\&#8217;s the only option that you have left.<\/li>\n<li>I have embarked on my photography journey and discovered a love of digital art along the way.<\/li>\n<li>I have learned to put myself first. \u00a0It\\&#8217;s not selfish, it\\&#8217;s a basic human need. \u00a0I refuse to apologize for that.<\/li>\n<li>I have learned who I can truly count on when I need someone the most. \u00a0I\\&#8217;ve always kept my circle small and I am thankful that I have made good choices when it comes to the people I love and I have had to walk away from a few people for no reason than they take up precious space in my head and I can\\&#8217;t and won\\&#8217;t make space for that.<\/li>\n<li>I take so much more joy in simple pleasures and take time to smell the flowers, laugh more, be silly, be crazy, being ME.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>There is so much more I can add to this list, but I won\\&#8217;t. \u00a0It\\&#8217;s all going to be OK. \u00a0Not today, but someday. \u00a0Like Rachel Platten said: <a href=\\\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/4UqfrH74wc0\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">I might only have one match, but I can start an explosion. <\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\\\"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Piglet_noticed_that_even_though1.png\\\"><img class=\\\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2183\\\" src=\\\"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Piglet_noticed_that_even_though1.png\\\" alt=\\\"Piglet_noticed_that_even_though1\\\" width=\\\"450\\\" height=\\\"460\\\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>And so a new chapter begins&#8230; I turned 37 yesterday. \u00a0I got up and the first thing I did was sit there and just think long and hard about what a long, strange and exhausting journey it\\&#8217;s all really been. \u00a0Looking back on everything up until this point, I would have to say that so [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[89,64,30,3,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2182","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all-the-feels","category-deep-thoughts-with-steph","category-family","category-friends","category-random-things"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2182","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2182"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2182\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2182"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2182"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2182"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}