You don\\’t compare someone\\’s grief like you do car insurance quotes!<\/p>\n
A wise friend of mine said to me (after my father had passed) don\\’t let anyone tell you how to grieve. She was right and while I am battling this grief stricken path, her advice keeps rolling around in my head as I silently give the finger to the ignorant.<\/p>\n
Here\\’s the thing about grief: everyone deals with it differently. There\\’s no time frame, there\\’s no rhyme or reason, it just is.<\/p>\n
I had a complicated relationship with my father at times. I didn\\’t expect his death to hit me this hard, but it did. Notwithstanding the fact that I already have OCD, anxiety and suffer from A-typical depression.<\/p>\n
I didn\\’t ask for these things, they just happened.<\/em><\/p>\n After my father passed away, it was like a chain reaction. Several friends of mine also became a member of the club that no one wants to belong to; the I lost a parent club. It\\’s membership is pretty exclusive and no one wants to join. Unless you\\’ve walked down that path, you have no idea. Even if you have lost a parent, we each handle grief differently. While we are all walking on the same path, our journey is no where near the same.<\/p>\n I made a conscious effort to be more open about my grief. Not because I wanted anyone\\’s sympathy or pity. For me, it was a move towards solidarity. There was\/is so many of us coping with the same shit. We all needed the support among the hurt and tears. \u00a0Saying it out loud is what makes it real. I wasn\\’t there for the last, difficult leg of my fathers illness. I was blissfully ignorant, tucked away in Montreal with my head buried in my school work. While I did offer to come home on numerous occasions, I was always refused. My father wanted me to pursue my education and he didn\\’t want his impending death to hinder that. Kicking ass and graduating with honors was the least I could do.<\/p>\n I missed out on everything.<\/p>\n I\\’ve had to learn to cope and to heal in my own way.<\/p>\n Except I\\’m new to this whole loosing a parent thing and I don\\’t fucking know how<\/em>.<\/p>\n You know nothing of my feelings. You don\\’t get to comment. You don\\’t get to compare.<\/p>\n
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