{"id":991,"date":"2010-07-18T17:01:35","date_gmt":"2010-07-18T21:01:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/?p=991"},"modified":"2010-07-23T21:39:29","modified_gmt":"2010-07-24T01:39:29","slug":"random-funny-for-the-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/?p=991","title":{"rendered":"Random funny for the day&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Things to do in an elevator when your bored:<\/p>\n<p>1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask \\&#8221;Got enough air in there?\\&#8221;<br \/>\n2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.<br \/>\n3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you\\&#8217;re embarrassed when they open themselves.<br \/>\n4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.<br \/>\n5) MEOW occasionally.<br \/>\n6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: \\&#8221;You\\&#8217;re one of THEM\\&#8221; &#8211; and back away slowly<br \/>\n7) SAY -DING at each floor.<br \/>\n8 ) SAY \\&#8221;I wonder what all these do?\\&#8221; And push all the red buttons.<br \/>\n9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.<br \/>\n10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: \\&#8221;I have new socks on.\\&#8221;<br \/>\n11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: \\&#8221;Is that your beeper?\\&#8221;<br \/>\n12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.<br \/>\n13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: \\&#8221;This is my personal space.\\&#8221;<br \/>\n14) WHEN there\\&#8217;s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn\\&#8217;t you.<br \/>\n15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.<br \/>\n16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.<br \/>\n17) HOLD the doors open and say you\\&#8217;re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say \\&#8221;Hi Greg, How\\&#8217;s your day been?\\&#8221;<br \/>\n18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: \\&#8221;That\\&#8217;s mine!\\&#8221;<br \/>\n19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.<br \/>\n20) PRETEND you\\&#8217;re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.<br \/>\n21) SWAT at flies that don\\&#8217;t exist.<br \/>\n22) CALL out \\&#8221;Group hug\\&#8221; then enforce it.<\/p>\n<p>Next time I\\&#8217;m in an elevator, I just might give this a go.\u00a0 Heh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Things to do in an elevator when your bored: 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask \\&#8221;Got enough air in there?\\&#8221; 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55,47,42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-991","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stephs-junk","category-there-goes-the-neighbourhood","category-we-have-fun"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/991","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=991"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/991\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=991"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=991"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/modologyworld.net\/steph\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=991"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}