Category Archives: Friends

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Ohhh FFS!

I\’m still sick, not nearly as bad as I was on Monday or Tuesday mind you.  However I still sound like a combination of Darth Vader and a coffee maker gone horribly wrong.  This is what I get for doing the things I do.  I was Mostly OK on Sunday.  Well OK enough to see him after I pumped myself full of drugs, took a bath and almost killed both my cats in the process.  In spite of the fact that I felt like (and still do feel like) a bloated  cow…  I\’m also feeling tres barftastique!  For real…  I had to get blood work done on Sunday, that is always fun.  Maybe then I\’ll discover what the hell is wrong with me. I can nap on demand and my body aches all. the. damn. time.

I also feel compelled to point out this: \”Love may be blind, however I am not in love. I also have glasses that didn\’t come with the rose colored tint, so I can also see ;)\”  Although Jen had a valid point with this: \”if love blind pluck it out and see not with rose colored glass but look into the soul and u will see clearly if your attended is worthy of your love\”

Why do you ask?

Because I refer to him as Mr. Almost Perfect.  As in almost perfect FOR me.  I like him, we get on well.  However like I said to him the other day, the stars got knocked out of my eyes a LONG time ago.  I am not infatuated with him, nor am I in love with him.  I do however enjoy his company immensely.  Its new & I\’m not looking too far ahead.  Right now I\’m just enjoying the moments as they come.  Besides no one truly knows our situation except for us.  So needless to say I got rather annoyed flat out irritated when one of my friends felt the need to point out that no one is perfect, let alone almost perfect.  On my facebook wall no less.  She felt that I \”needed a reminder\”.  Um hmm.  OK how about you stay outta my personal life and drop dead. mind your own business?  What am I some starry eyed 15 year old?  No I happen to be on the edge of being *cough 32 cough* I see no need for any sort of alarm or concern.  Either of which is horribly misplaced.  I know what I\’ve been through, last time I recall I was there.  I am not a naive fool thanks.  If you feel the need to comment on anything I do in my life, then fucking well message me privately.  Even my mom & her mom both said that I wasn\’t in need of a reality check.  Thanks though, however if I wanted your opinion; I would gladly give it to you.

For real.

Apparently that pissed me off more then I thought it did. Who knew?  Which is why I deleted that post & the argument/comments that followed.  It was getting a tad ridiculous!

In other news…

I\’ve been corresponding quite a bit with Jason\’s mom.  Who\’s been nothing short of wonderful!  She wants to bring Jason\’s ashes to Canada.  He always wanted to come & I believe it was last 2 summer\’s ago  that he almost made it here too.  Well to Toronto for BME fest.  I was mighty pissed that I wasn\’t going to be able to meet him, except he wasn\’t able to cross the border due to a lack of a passport.  So the poor guy got stuck in Buffalo NY.  So of course pending she decides to bring him here (which I\’m assuming she will) I\’ll get to \”meet him\” in retrospect, however that wasn\’t what I had in mind…  However I think it will be nice to have a memorial service and scatter his ashes with his mom and whomever else chooses to be in attendance that day.  Yeah I know that\’s technically not legal but hey, why not?

So out of curiosity I checked out the price of airline tickets on Expedia.  Carlsbad has an airport and so does Montreal, so that made searching easy.  The cost blew. my. fucking. mind.  Almost $1300.00 yes that would be thirteen hundred freaking dollars for a round trip ticket!  Yet for about the same price I could go to you know Cuba and stay in a 5 star all inclusive resort for a week.  W.T.F.!?!  I wonder how long it would take to drive there… One day and 12 hours according to Google maps (of course I had to check you know). Not that I would do such a thing but you know what I mean?  I think Jason was taking the bus across the border into Niagara Falls and grabbing a flight from there to Toronto.  Can\’t recall now, obviously it doesn\’t matter that much.

Something to ponder anyway.

On a final note, I really want a cupcake!

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Disjointed fragments

memory is a funny thing.  My heightened level of exhaustion is truly screwing with my mind more often then not it would seem.  There\’s things I want to remember because they\’re just beyond hilarious and I seem to forget them and then come back to them.  Sometimes I wish I could videotape my life so I can look back on it and laugh.  Laughter is a wonderful thing.  Memories fade and its usually the good ones I find.  As I was having my most enchanted evening with him, something he said triggered a long forgotten moment in what I refer to as my old life.  It was a surreal trip down memory lane & I wasn\’t quite sure how I felt about that.  He felt bad (no need to), as my beautiful friend Carly referenced:\”you are only as sick as your secrets\”.

Fuck. I. have. a. lot. of. secrets.

Some of which I share (rendering them a secret no more), some I keep to myself.  As much as I didn\’t don\’t want him to feel bad, it totally dawned on me that there was something semi huge that I shared on here and not with him.  I meant to & somehow I totally forgot & for that, I\’m sorry.  I guess now that the moment is over (thankfully)/crisis averted there was no need to bring it up.  However had things not been so damn crazy for either of us (seriously I tried to wash my hands with toothpaste the other day, don\’t ask) I\’m quite certain I would have mentioned it.  Because he had the right to know and still does.  What a kick to the balls to read it on here and not hear it from me.  Yeah that\’s pretty damn low.  Pending of course he reads my blog at all.  Anyway, back to that whole memory thing.  It was strange because it took me back to a place that I hadn\’t visited in so long.  It didn\’t bother me, it just made me feel unsettled for a while I guess.  I did put a positive spin on it because there is one.  Although I will always wonder what I would have been like had that not happened.

I\’m obviously not destined to know.  We all have our scars & that part of my life is my cross to bear and I feel for the most part I bear it pretty well.  I lived it, learned from it and became whom I am today because of it.  I like me most of the time.  I don\’t like talking about it because of the emotions it evokes in other people.  I personally have moved on, I can\’t & won\’t forget what happened but it made me stronger in the end.  Which in a way I am thankful for.  I don\’t however want to hurt him with that story.  Disjointed fragments come out now & then; he\’s not stupid (he\’s actually too smart for his own damn good) I like love that about him.  However I know first hand how hearing about that hurts some people and evokes the general reactions of anger/sympathy/pity and a slew of others that I would rather not do.  Like he said \”we all have issues\” which we most certainly do.  However I personally think its all in how you deal with them in the end.  Do you learn from them, embrace them as a period of growth or do you react like some people I know and surround yourself with it like a shroud and use it as a shield?  Or more accurately [use it] as an excuse for how messed up you think your life is?  There\’s something to be said about letting go and for the most part I have.  It changed me on a number of levels, some of which I don\’t particularly care for personally.  I have however made my proverbial bed and while I did lie in it for a while, I have since exchanged it for a new & improved model.  Mostly.

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PLEASE VOTE!

I rarely ask anyone for help, however my furry and non furry friends at reach for the stars rescue desperately need your help!

The animal rescue site along with pet finder is offering $10,000 yes ten thousand dollars to a shelter!  So please head on over to the voting page and vote for: reach for the stars rescue, Montreal, QC Canada!  They\’re not even in the top 10 🙁  Lets help them get ahead!

I  can\’t think of someone more deserving then them.  All the money raised goes to the animals, its one of the only shelters that provides everything for its foster animals.  Jacquie is one of the most selfless people I have ever had the pleasure to know & I think what she\’s doing is wonderful.

Thanks guys!

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The surreal life & stuff

OK day number two at the daycare, I\’m the executive Chef in case you were wondering.  Even my friends think this is hilarious…  Read:

\”Would I be correct saying you are working in a daycare? And if I am that is nearly as scary as me working in a daycare.\” No doubt Shane, no doubt ha ha!

\”Day Care….now that is totally different, I think you will be good at it…\” At least my best friend has faith in me, that\’s why I love her!  <3 Corrine!

Yeah me of all people in a day care, even I think that\’s strange not entirely my deal but I like the predictability of it all.  I\’m not against change but I am against drama and stress…  Kids need routine, so do I (at least at work, kinda).  So it kinda works out for us both.  Now don\’t get me wrong, I don\’t hate kids, birth control failures adorable children under the age of 5.  Nor do I have an issue with giving your child a bitching, cool ass, name.  I like being unique, I\’ve always marched to the beat of my own drummer.  Always.  I also try not to be judgmental, judge not lest ye be judged and all that.  However I have to wonder what on earth goes through people\’s minds when picking a name for their child that\’s so out there.  So out there in fact that it belongs in outer space.

Jupiter & Neptune.  There are children in the day care who are named after planets.  I can think of two children who just might end up hating their parents when they grow up.  Perhaps not.  OK yes there\’s Venus Williams, lets not forget the Venus fly trap.  Not a tennis buff, but that plant is pretty freaking sweet!  Also a Greek goddess However Venus is also a planet.  Not only that, Venus rhymes with penis.  However sporting a Medusa tattoo myself, I can see the correlation behind naming your child Venus.    Jupiter & Neptune though?  Perhaps their parents are astronauts?  Possible astronomers or something?  At least they didn\’t name them Uranus like one of my friends pointed out.  Here\’s what my peanut gallery had to say about the whole thing:
Tammy: \”I know of another girl named Jupiter Jane…okay…but NEPTUNE?\” (that has the Jetsons written ALL over it)
Babette:\” At least it wasn\’t Uranus!\” (my thoughts exactly!)
Darcy:\”lol\” (coffee almost came out my nose when I made that discovery this morning)
Josh:\”Haha, why do they do it!?
…growing up is tough enough without being named after a planet!! lol xXx\” (yeah I know, hello!)
James:\”Yeah but when he turns out to be the head of a major corporation, and she\’s either some type of hippie therapist/social worker or psychic they won\’t seem so odd. It\’s nominative deteinism in action!\” (OK there\’s always one, that\’s OK because I wouldn\’t expect anything less from him 😉 lol)
Jaime:\”gah! I thought Pyper was an odd name…thankfully my daughters name has become more popular these days!\” (OK first of all, at least it applies to your heritage Jaime and its lovely & unique. I like it!)
Melanie:\”What about the parents in the States who named their son Adolf Hitler? They thought it was wonderful…. Children\’s Aid didn\’t, and little Adolf Hitler Campbell and his younger sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell were \”removed from the home\”. Those parents are winners!\” (there are no words…)
Fallon:\”I know a Rainbow Cloud :)\” (see that\’s hippy chic, I can at least respect that!  Or one hell of a raver name)
Lindsay:this is great! lmao….my friend named her kid Treasure….Stripper pole here she comes (I feel compelled to agree with that)

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