Category Archives: Not PG rated

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Twatwaffle’s

I am really, truly starting to develop an even deeper seeded hatred for mankind.

Who in the hell thought that was possible?!? 

We live in a world where people are nothing but giant, ungrateful twatwaffles and I am calling your ass out on it.

I decided to go back to school.  I’m currently juggling a full time job and college.  Just for fun, i’m throwing university in the mix as well.

I LOVE being an over-achiever.

Almost about as much as I love being an asshole, but I digress.

So I took a camera basics class, it’s a fantastic introduction to all kinds of photography bits and pieces and great for anyone who wants to have better knowledge of their camera and see if maybe, just maybe commercial photography is for you.

I loved everything about it.

Except for one person.

Because let’s face it, there’s ALWAYS one.

ALWAYS!

So we did a round in studio (fucking amazing day) and the group consensus was that we would exchange pictures when we were done.  Fair enough, it’s good experience which is the whole point.

That is until you nag the ever loving shit out of me to give you your pictures in the middle of our last class, which was Photoshop.  So you know, in other words, one that was worth learning.

Nagging me is one thing.

Nagging me when I have PMS?

Ohhelltothenoyoujustdidn’t!

Nothing says klass like screaming: ‘calm your tits bitch i’ll give you your fucking pictures!’

I have some really nice shots of this ungrateful CUNextTuesday but I purposely gave her the shitty ones because i’m petty and spiteful like that.  There was a few passable one’s in there but I was rushed, using a MAC (so foreign to me) on top of other things and she says to me, only give me one’s I can use.  I can’t use these.

The fuck you say?

Oh hellllllllllllllllllll no.

Well I want a nice picture for my website, I need a picture I can use.

No. Just no.

Twatwaffle.

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Saturday Shenanigans

I have the most ridiculously random, yet totally awesome life EVER!

No really.

I do.

I hosted a day long fundraiser at my place yesterday to help out a friend.  Started at 9am and ran until some obscure hour in the wee hours of the morning.  It was by and large one of the Best. Saturday’s. Ever.  It started out innocently enough, get up, get stuff done.  Or so that was the plan at the very least.

So for those of you who missed it, here’s the highlights in no particular order with no back story included:

  • My superintendent told me that I could get around the no lease clause of no dogs allowed YAY!  Except right now I can’t but someday.  Having your super think that you’re hot has it’s privileges.
  • I got blatantly hit on by some 400lb dude who said it was totally OK if I was his stalker.
  • Which led to me throwing up in my mouth a little and saying (after many drinks later) ‘Can you imagine me trying to have sex with that guy?  I don’t think I could bear the weight of him being on top, I’m not flexible enough nor are my legs long enough to be on top and my knees are bad’ which if you were there, you’d get it & laugh because everyone else did.  Fuck you if you think I’m being mean (because I admit that I totally was insensitive) because it was pretty damn funny if you were there.
  • Got to meet some of my awesome neighbors which makes me feel damn good about this apartment. With the exception of having to meet one due to Jackson finding her poor cat on the road, who we invited over for drinks.
  • Poor person’s cat who died?  HOT!  OMFG This is one of the hottest woman I have ever seen!  Which also prompted me to say, after total inebriation: ‘ I’m mostly straight but I would totally tap that!’ I also totally would because she’s freaking hot!
  • Headlocks were had.
  • Boobs were groped.
  • Pants were lost.
  • Such comments like the back of your head NEEDS to be smooched in my boobs (yes that was me) were said.
  • Filters and indoor voices became a thing of the past.
  • Wine, rum & beer was bought, consumed and spilled.
  • Smoking…  Lot’s & lot’s of smoking.
  • Lot’s of lesbians.
  • Lewd and totally inappropriate comments were said. (Which if you know me is the norm, but when I’m that shitfaced it’s even worse)
  • Tattoos were flashed.
  • Cast members from Webdreams were met.
  • The word naughty became one of the most used words of the evening.
  • Smoking hot photo-shoots were planned.
  • My friends wife ended up in my bed.
And much, MUCH more.  Which I can not disclose.  Because what happens on Shitfaced Saturday’s at Steph’s Stays at SSS.
Partying with me & select friends really IS that awesome.
After all  membership friendship has it’s privileges. 😉

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First impression’s…

are apparently lasting ones and thank God for that!  Because at least my first months rent was paid ON TIME.

Except, I had a major faux pas with my rent this month, which is a tad embarrassing (only my second month living here) and it’s costing me a small fortune!  You see my bank had this option that you could have additional savings set up for every transaction of your choice ( withdrawals made  via an ATM, in house or whenever you used your bank card to pay for something).  As in for every purchase you make, x amount of money will be transferred to another account.  Not a bad idea overall and it’s helped me save a few bucks through the years by placing said money in a  guaranteed investment account.  Except this time, that nifty little option cost me dearly.

I just moved, had a ton of dental work done and hell yes I had to buy a ticket to Pearl Jam.  Money’s a tad tight for the moment, however that too will level itself out eventually.  I’m pretty responsible about paying my rent on time, I do like having a roof over my head.

Who doesn’t?

It wasn’t until I got home that I was planning on going out and getting something that I thought to myself to check my balance and see if I had enough stashed in my main account to get what I needed.  Imagine my surprise and utter horror when it dawned on me that I had too much money in my account this close to payday.  My rent cheque bounced due to a lack of $2.26.

Yes TWO DOLLARS AND TWENTY SIX FUCKING CENTS!

So with a nice stockpile of NSF fee’s, that $2.26 is going to end up costing me $67.00

AWESOME!

It’s not as if the money wasn’t actually there either.  Because it was.

IN ANOTHER ACCOUNT!  WITH THE SAME BANK!

Had they not charged me “other bank fee’s”.  For what exactly, I don’t know. So much for my accounts being covered under a flat rate, since I don’t typically use other bank machines.  Mostly because I rarely carry cash.  What pisses me off, is that something like this has happened before.  Not quite the same situation but close.  What did the bank do?  Went into another account, took the money out and only charged me $5.00/ that I can live with.

This isn’t the first time they’ve screwed me either.  They cashed two cheques at the same time, regardless of the fact that one was post dated for a month later which they “corrected” but I of course still had to pay the $42.00 NSF fee.  That was last summer (thanks douche bags!)

So fuck you bank, this is the LAST time you have screwed me over.  I’ll be looking into your competition, because I am officially FED up with your incompetent bullshit!  If it was something that *I* did, fine.  I’ll take responsibility.  However the money was there, and you choose not to use it.  So that being said:

FUCK YOU!

 

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Random updates!

I’m too stressed out and far too distracted to write a “real” entry.  Although I have been a bit of a slacker so let me fill you in super quick!

I’m still fighting with the post office.

I went to CHOM‘S uber exclusive, invitation only Hell-O-Ween party which was freaking awesome!  I’ll add some of my own images in a minute.

I got my butt tattooed!  A super cute Halloween themed Dracula type bat on my right cheek.  I WILL have pictures when it’s healed.  Because I know you all want to see it.

My friend Paul is getting MARRIED!  To a super hot cop none the less!  YAY for gay marriages being legal in Canada!  I bought him this book that Tracy mentioned and as Paul pointed out, it didn’t work 😉  We got a pretty good laugh out of that one!

Although in not so happy news, I feel like I’m playing where’s Pete?  You know the real life version of Where’s Waldo? Except the person your searching for isn’t named Waldo.  I’m getting kind of worried…  We had dinner plans on Friday that were canceled out due to Pete having some personal distress.  So we settled on Sunday instead, I said I would text him while I was getting my butt tattooed and we would settle on a time.  Except I haven’t heard from him since. 🙁

Which is rather un-usual since it’s not like him to miss dinner, least of all one of my dinners.

Awesome dinner that Pete missed...

It’s not like I keep tabs on him, because I don’t.  We each have our own lives.  Except that it’s like he’s dropped off the face of the planet and you know the thought of filling a missing persons report actually has crossed my mind.  As neurotic as that sounds, I am starting to worry about him. A lot.  It’s making me break out in hives 🙁

Halloween was pretty epic!  Check it out: