Nagging bitches, my book & Karma.

Yes some posts I can be bothered to separate, but not today. After all, it’s Monday and I’m tired.  For this, I blame Karma. I was teasing someone last night about how I don’t have to get up stupid early in the morning to go to work like they do (still early none the less) and I was going to text them in the morning for the sheer purpose of rubbing it in that I A: just woke up (after him) B: was still in bed. Yeah well, that was a lovely thought.  I woke up around 4:45-ish and my first thought was sonofabitch! Of course I had to pee. Then, you’d think I’d be able to go back to sleep, but no not really.  It was one of those drifting in and out of sleep moments that aren’t really satisfying. Although I still got to lounge around in bed, which is warm, cozy and uber comfy in my jammies. So damn right I sent that text, to which I was informed that I missed the sun rise that morning. I’m sure it was beautiful and pondering that comment briefly after I woke up I thought to myself, yeah fuck that I catch enough sunrises in the dead of winter. You know when it’s dark until 8am :p So that’s that. He clearly won that round!  Needless to say, I won’t be saying that again.

Nagging bitches: I don’t get it! Why on earth do some people (usually woman, I hate to stereotype but they do exist for a reason) feel that nagging someone endlessly will garner results? It’s really, really fucking irritating! STOP IT! I work with someone who thinks that by constantly harping on your ass, about things that are of NO concern to them none the less; will make a difference. Personal cheerleader my ass. Jesus Christ, leave me and the countless other people you annoy the shit out of alone!  There are some things that *I* feel should be of no involvement of others, especially at work and my boss agrees with me.  Granted there are some things that you need to get on my ass about until I give them to you.  IE: the menu, the milk order.  Because I occasionally forget those things and the reminder is helpful and usually welcome. However when you’re getting on my case about how I choose to live my life, especially when we only have a working relationship? Drop dead.  I don’t care how you justify it to yourself in your mind, you are not my mom, I am not burger king, therefore you can not have it your way!  Because of her (especially because of her) I can totally understand and relate to why men hate woman who nag incessantly.  It gives me a headache!

In other news, I’m working on making food porn v 2.0 become a reality.  Going to purchase the ISBN and the whole nine yards for this one I think.  Essentially I plan to do an edit of the original one and make some more grown up modifications to the recipes themselves.  Stephanie’s secret’s, which became the working title (thanks to a clients suggestion) has officially sold out and while I could do a second printing, it’s a costly investment and unless I have enough people willing to do pre-sale on it, I won’t bother with it.  It’s a little known fact that my self published book titled food porn really does exist.  There’s only three copies of it period. It’s what one might say a collectors item, if you’re into that sort of thing.  Funny enough, I was paging through it earlier and clearly my proof reading skills need some work, as does my grammar >.< I was in a rush to get it printed because I wanted it ready as a gift for someone’s birthday. Clearly that wasn’t my best idea!  However, when Stephanie’s secrets came to life in a gorgeous 8.5×11 format thanks to Maggie’s dedication, formatting and editing skills and her printing team at Wynterblue publishing it looks amazing!  Except this time, I want it to be in a hardcover format. Sadly, they don’t offer the type of cover & binding I need for this project but I might get them to once again rock out the printing of the book & have it sent to another company to be bound.

We’ll see. In any case, let it be known that the hardcover edition will also be limited and we’re working on the cover art right now, thanks to the help of a photographer friend.

Sleeping vs Sex.

There is something that makes absolutely NO sense to me. None.

Why on earth does everyone use the term you slept with so and so when they’re referring to sex?

Are we so uptight as a society that we can’t use the term sex and have to turn it into something completely different?

Last time I checked, sex had nothing to do with sleeping.  Sleeping with someone in the same bed is no where near the same thing as having sex with someone, regardless of whether or not you have actually had sex with that someone.

It’s still not the same thing!


Stuff that matters:

Please spread this post like it’s herpes!

The one planet project. Check it out and educate yourself. Learning is important.

The Brian Gillman family This one is a little closer to home for me.  I didn’t know Brian so much as I knew of him. He is however a dear friend of Barry. Barry being the founder of Anatometal, (where Brian also worked) is someone that I not only love/adore and respect but I also consider him one amazing friend as well.  The one thing I love about modified culture is loyalty and Barry has certainly earned it.  So that being said, my heart hurts. Not only for Barry, for Brian’s family that was left behind including his two young children Indigo & Violet.  I knew the soul sucking heartache that I had when I found out about Jason, it was the first time that I had ever had to bury a friend and it rocked me to the core of a soul I didn’t even know that I had.  I can not imagine having to go through such a traumatic loss as a child.  Barry has set up an account for Brian’s children.  Anatometal will match every single donation dollar for dollar.

Which I think is amazing.

When I get paid, i’ll be doing my part and making a donation on behalf of myself and NAYOP as well.  I can’t do much, but I can at the very least do this.  If you work in the modification industry and want to help out, here’s a flier that you can download and print out to be posted in your establishment:







On a final note of things that are important: The school that I work at, along with my company Stuff by Chef Steph (along with countless others) are supporting together is amazing.  As I posted on my facebook page: “One thing I’ve noticed is how generous people are around Christmas when it comes to helping the less fortunate. What about now? Food banks are running on empty and as a Chef, I can’t let anyone starve. It goes against everything I stand for.  It could be you who needs these services someday. Think about it!”  The bottom line is this: someday you could be low on tangible income, unable to feed yourself or your family.  It can happen to anyone, at anytime.  If this was you and you needed these services, you would be pretty damn grateful for the kindness of others.  Also? It’s a really easy way to give back to your community.  Caroline wanted to point out this: At the bottom of the page, there is a video, for every view, Shaw will Donate 1$ and Campbell’s Canada will donate 1 pound of food to local Food Banks, up to $250,000 and 250,000 pounds.

So get off your ass and do something good for someone, somewhere. Pay it forward day should be everyday.


Reasons why I most likely won’t date you.

Also? I hate my phone. A lot. Smart phone my ass. Sometimes it sends e-mails, usually it chooses not to. Although on the rare occasion that it does, it usually cuts it off at some point. Which is irritating as fuck because sending e-mail via this phone is already enough of a pain in the ass! -End phone rant.

Anyway, someone had commented that I hadn’t posted any bad dates as of late. The reason behind that would be this: I haven’t been on any dates of late. Good, bad or otherwise. Things are finally kinda quiet in my life and well needless to say, I’m enjoying the ‘me’ time that comes along with it.  Aside from the fact that I’ve been deathly ill and have decided to keep my germs to myself for the most part.  I’m also really, really picky about who I choose to spend my time with.  With the sheer number of douchebags out there, who can blame me?  That being said, here’s my (on going) list of things that will make me likely say no to you if you ask me out on a date:

  • You feel compelled to show me your 6-8 pack.  Unless it’s beer or some other tasty beverage, I really don’t give a shit about how ripped your core is. Really, I don’t.
  • You send me pictures of your naughty bits.  *IF* I wanted to see that, I would make it happen. If for some reason you truly feel that this is necessary, even if I don’t, make it a good one.  Likely won’t change my mind in any way, shape or form; however make my free eye candy worth it and hope that I don’t have some underground porn site.
  • You wear more make up than I do. I’m all for being who you are and all that, I just fail to see the attraction to eye liner.
  • You’re high maintenance. Guys complain that it takes woman eons to get ready. I dated a guy once who took twice as long to get ready. Yes really.
  • You feel compelled to wear your pants hanging halfway off your ass. IT’S NOT ATTRACTIVE!   AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT! 
  • Pointy shoes. I just can’t deal with this horrendous trend in shoes. As soon as I see them, I feel the need to put bells on them and throw you in a parade with the shriners.
  • You live at home. I’m almost 34, if you’re still living at home, you’re too young for me. Or you’re a mamma’s boy and I can’t handle that either.
  • You go out of your way to tell me how much money you make or the kind of car you drive. I. Don’t. Care.
  • You play the oral sex card.  Just because guys claim that they’re hurting for oral sex doesn’t mean that we are. Talk is cheap and unless you’re so damn good that it’s mind blowing,  would make me hit the ceiling good and can prove it; shut it. Don’t sing it, bring it.
  • You can’t spell or type like a lazy ass fool. I’m very well read, nothing irks me more than someone who can’t spell or can’t be bothered to spell out the entire word. It’s lazy and too much like elementary school. Grow up.
  • You lack intellect. I shouldn’t have to explain that.
  • You can’t hold a conversation. Communication is important.
  • You’re an idiot. I’m smart. Book/life/street smart. You should be too on some level or another. Otherwise the likely hood of us having any type of connection is highly improbable. I don’t care if I sound like a snob, intelligence is hot.
  • You’re considerably shorter than I am.  I’m almost 6 feet tall, I’m also not a jungle gym.
  • You’re in a relationship. I don’t care if your wife/girlfriend/significant other isn’t doing it for you.  Find a fuck friend or five to meet your needs. I don’t share, nor do I tolerate cheating.
  • Don’t have a sense of humor. I don’t deal with people who are uptight.
  • Feel the need to text/email/phone me several times a day for no reason at all. It’s irritating.
  • Have zero respect for my independence. I take care of me. Deal with it.
  • Have mommy issues. Freud just may have been onto something…
  • You tell me that you want to lick all of my tattoos. No. Just no.
  • You feel the need to pee on me. I have indoor plumbing. Please, feel free to use it.
  • You masturbate in my bathroom. Yes it’s happened before. How did I find out? They missed. I have a black shower curtain. Do the math.
  • You want kids. I don’t. That’s an immediate deal breaker right there.