Category Archives: Steph’s junk

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Random stuff

that really makes you think.  I have lots to post about, however its been a really rough week so I\’ll save it for another day.

However I shall leave you with this. I\’m not one for ad campaigns but there\’s something about this one that\’s so beautifully done its well worth the watch!

Also this was posted on twitter via the lovely Tracey, Ms. Grumble Girl herself  and *I* happen to think that its amazing!

2009 was a rough year (for me, it was by & large the worst year of my entire life!)  View the images, read the stories and if that somehow doesn\’t move you in some way, then I think your truly dead inside.

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So i\’m really

not so down with the sickness.  As a matter of fact, I hate being sick period.   So. Damn. Much.

I\’m one of those stubborn pain in the ass types who will still cook you dinner in spite of the fact that I\’m vomiting.  Yeah for real, that was last weekends lovely gastro incident.  I just couldn\’t give in.
Being sick makes me want to crawl into a whole and die, want my mommy, wonder how dare germs even think its OK to invade my body.
You see I was blessed with bronchial asthma.  So while most people will only get the common cold, mine travels south and takes up all the precious space in my lungs.  Its like a free-loading house guest that has over-stayed their welcome and refuses to leave.

I also hate being one of those people who runs to the doctor every time they have a runny nose.  So I generally suck it up and spend copious amounts of my precious hard earned money on OTC pills that I damn well know I\’m not supposed to take.
Oops my bad!
I still do it anyway because I need to work & I can not work around food while coughing up gobs of goo from anywhere in my body. Although this time around was quite the learning experience! Did you know that snot also comes in orange? This was news to me, believe it though. I seen it, it came out of my own nose.

Most of that crap has Dextromethorphan in it.  Asthmatics and people with various other diseases aren\’t allowed to have anything with DM in it because it gives you a false sense of wellness while its really hardening the goo inside your lungs.  I know, awesome right? Coughing to the point where you vomit is even more awesome, trust me on this.
So there I am thinking that I was finally starting to get over this abundance of crap & out of no where my sinus infection made a not so triumphant return. I was a little bitter needless to say.

So like every other damn time I get a cold, I get deathly ill.  Awesome coughing spasms that made him & my mom cringe.  After being damn near nagged to death several suggestions from concerned individuals to go see a Dr. which I relentlessly refused to do.  I caved.  Mostly because I promised him that if it got worse, I would in fact go see a Dr.  Because my Dr. Lambert\’s cough syrup just wasn\’t cutting it (also not nearly as effective as an inhaler according to him).  Well it was to a degree, because after two days even though I was coughing non stop, the phlegm was coming up with the force of a freight train on speed.

So was my dinner.

However on Easter Monday after having to bail not only on him (twice), but my friend Jen as well I said fuck it and went to the clinic.  Mostly because when I woke up that morning my sinuses were blocked like no one\’s business & when I made a lame attempt to breathe through my mouth I sounded like a coffee maker when its almost finished brewing.  Yeah I know, healthy isn\’t it?  That was a little disconcerting.  So after waiting three hours to see a Dr. for all of oh I dunno maybe 7 minutes I scored some heavy duty antibiotics & much to my chagrin a damn inhaler.

I must say that my 10 pills for the price of $30.00 dollars (co-pay) have started to work their magic.  The infection itself is gone & I now have the energy to dance around my living room in my underwear work, do some housework and you know function.   Ah but this inhaler and I are going to be BFF\’s for the next month.

FUN!

The infection may be gone, the inflammation however is sticking it out.  This inhaler scares me.  I was told by Dr. Converse there (he was wearing Chuck Taylor\’s, I respect that) that failure to rinse out my mouth after using this inhaler would lead to tongue fungus.   AKA Thrush or  even better: a yeast infection in your mouth. That sounds about as much fun as having one between my legs.  Although it just sounds so much sexier don\’t you think?  Mmmmmm  I can see it now: \” What do you mean you don\’t want to kiss me?  It was you who suggested I get an inhaler honey.\”  That\’s a total turn on right there!

At least this Dr. didn\’t have a \”sweater\” and sitting in the clinic for three hours wasn\’t nearly as amusing as sitting in the ER with Carly Cakes    for at least 8 hours after pulling a muscle from coughing so hard.  That time was even better, I was sporting a mask listening to her say wait for it, no, no, wait for it and then bust out singing the chorus to easy lover, dancing in the chair while we ate crap out of the vending machine out of sheer boredom, as I tried not to cough to death from laughing so hard.  At least she makes being sick fun & she brought me Arahova\’s (from the WI location, one of our favorite places) and that\’s one of the many reasons why I love her & miss her so! <3

I attacked my apt. with gusto using Lysol wipes, and other disinfectant things to kill the germs.  Now that I finally get to see him again, I just might spray his ass down with Lysol as well.

Just in case 😉

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Deep thoughts with…

Steph, Erma Bombeck & him.  Inspired by Carly 🙂

Ah the art of letting things go.  Mostly stuff, not \”mental stuff\” (although I am working on that) by actual physical true to life \”stuff\”.  I hung out with Mr. AP on Sunday which was as always wonderful.  He also just moved.  So in asking my opinion on what I would do personally to make it look more like a home per say.  I at first used the term decorate and then changed it to polish (which he said sounded less threatening) who can blame him?  After all the last thing any guy wants is a woman to waltz in to their home no less and be all heyyyyyy i\’ma going to let you finish but first I\’m going to do this that and the other thing.  He likes minimalism & who can blame him?  I do as well to a degree, but Christ I have so much stuff its UN-freaking-real!  I also hate bare walls & do love me some photography & art.  So needless to say my walls aren\’t covered in them but tastefully decorated.  So he said I was allowed to make him some art awesome!  Let\’s just hope that what I have in mind actually comes to fruition, but I think its going to look pretty damn stellar.

Anyway, its spring-ish which means spring cleaning for some.  You see, I must have inherited the pack-rat gene from my father.  I think there\’s also some psychosomatic need to  \”horde\” things because when Jeff & I split, I had nothing.  Well almost nothing.  Thanks to some good friends and  cheap rent, teamed up with working my butt off (not to mention some killer sales) I am the proud owner of things.  Except I have too many things.  I\’m sentimental like that, I like to keep reminders of times gone by.  People that have passed on & fond memories.  However when it comes to the point of consuming your precious space you need to get rid of some stuff.

Which led me to a poem by Erma Bombeck:

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren\’t there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the \’good\’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn\’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I\’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, \”Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.\”
There would have been more \”I love you\’s.\” More \”I\’m sorry\’s.\”
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute, look at it and really see it , live it and never give it back.

Mostly the candle comment, which oddly enough we were talking about on Sunday (something to do with wedding favors or some such) and how there\’s no point in holding onto something that you can actually use.  If that makes any sense?  Also what\’s the point of holding onto stuff that you don\’t use/want/need?  Oh right, there isn\’t.  So essentially I\’m scaling down my life some.  I cleaned out my closet (dear God what a job that was) and got rid of a ton of stuff.  I saw no point in holding onto it \”just because\” . Just because why? Its not as if its some rare one of a kind item that I can never get back again.
Also a lot of it was just taking up too much damn room.  So I\’m breaking up with \”stuff\”, if I don\’t have a practical use for it, or some hardcore emotional attachment to it, out to the curb it goes.

Normally I would donate it to charity, but seeing as I don\’t have a car craigslist will have to suffice.  I gave it a shot last weekend in spite of being sick and wouldn\’t you know it 99.5% of it was gone by morning.  That made me exceptionally happy 🙂  So going to finish off the job and get rid of the rest of it!

Clearing out all this crap makes my head that much clearer!

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Ohhh FFS!

I\’m still sick, not nearly as bad as I was on Monday or Tuesday mind you.  However I still sound like a combination of Darth Vader and a coffee maker gone horribly wrong.  This is what I get for doing the things I do.  I was Mostly OK on Sunday.  Well OK enough to see him after I pumped myself full of drugs, took a bath and almost killed both my cats in the process.  In spite of the fact that I felt like (and still do feel like) a bloated  cow…  I\’m also feeling tres barftastique!  For real…  I had to get blood work done on Sunday, that is always fun.  Maybe then I\’ll discover what the hell is wrong with me. I can nap on demand and my body aches all. the. damn. time.

I also feel compelled to point out this: \”Love may be blind, however I am not in love. I also have glasses that didn\’t come with the rose colored tint, so I can also see ;)\”  Although Jen had a valid point with this: \”if love blind pluck it out and see not with rose colored glass but look into the soul and u will see clearly if your attended is worthy of your love\”

Why do you ask?

Because I refer to him as Mr. Almost Perfect.  As in almost perfect FOR me.  I like him, we get on well.  However like I said to him the other day, the stars got knocked out of my eyes a LONG time ago.  I am not infatuated with him, nor am I in love with him.  I do however enjoy his company immensely.  Its new & I\’m not looking too far ahead.  Right now I\’m just enjoying the moments as they come.  Besides no one truly knows our situation except for us.  So needless to say I got rather annoyed flat out irritated when one of my friends felt the need to point out that no one is perfect, let alone almost perfect.  On my facebook wall no less.  She felt that I \”needed a reminder\”.  Um hmm.  OK how about you stay outta my personal life and drop dead. mind your own business?  What am I some starry eyed 15 year old?  No I happen to be on the edge of being *cough 32 cough* I see no need for any sort of alarm or concern.  Either of which is horribly misplaced.  I know what I\’ve been through, last time I recall I was there.  I am not a naive fool thanks.  If you feel the need to comment on anything I do in my life, then fucking well message me privately.  Even my mom & her mom both said that I wasn\’t in need of a reality check.  Thanks though, however if I wanted your opinion; I would gladly give it to you.

For real.

Apparently that pissed me off more then I thought it did. Who knew?  Which is why I deleted that post & the argument/comments that followed.  It was getting a tad ridiculous!

In other news…

I\’ve been corresponding quite a bit with Jason\’s mom.  Who\’s been nothing short of wonderful!  She wants to bring Jason\’s ashes to Canada.  He always wanted to come & I believe it was last 2 summer\’s ago  that he almost made it here too.  Well to Toronto for BME fest.  I was mighty pissed that I wasn\’t going to be able to meet him, except he wasn\’t able to cross the border due to a lack of a passport.  So the poor guy got stuck in Buffalo NY.  So of course pending she decides to bring him here (which I\’m assuming she will) I\’ll get to \”meet him\” in retrospect, however that wasn\’t what I had in mind…  However I think it will be nice to have a memorial service and scatter his ashes with his mom and whomever else chooses to be in attendance that day.  Yeah I know that\’s technically not legal but hey, why not?

So out of curiosity I checked out the price of airline tickets on Expedia.  Carlsbad has an airport and so does Montreal, so that made searching easy.  The cost blew. my. fucking. mind.  Almost $1300.00 yes that would be thirteen hundred freaking dollars for a round trip ticket!  Yet for about the same price I could go to you know Cuba and stay in a 5 star all inclusive resort for a week.  W.T.F.!?!  I wonder how long it would take to drive there… One day and 12 hours according to Google maps (of course I had to check you know). Not that I would do such a thing but you know what I mean?  I think Jason was taking the bus across the border into Niagara Falls and grabbing a flight from there to Toronto.  Can\’t recall now, obviously it doesn\’t matter that much.

Something to ponder anyway.

On a final note, I really want a cupcake!