Category Archives: Just saying

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Adrenaline & why I hate it so much…

Not the \’rush\’, I am of course referring to the tattoo studio.

You see, my lovely friend Ania always keeps me (and countless others) updated on all the going\’s on in the modification world.  In several different languages no less!  Although her last two postings as of late have included opinions from that dreaded tattoo studio!  Every time someone (by someone I mean media related) wants a damn opinion on tattooing/related body modifications they mention those fucking tools on Sherbrooke street!  There are SO. Many. Other. Places. To. Call.

Why the hate?  Well perhaps it\’s because I\’m biased (I am) and I happen to have an enormous amount of respect for my tattoo artists.  They both do quite well without the pomp and circumstance that Adrenaline has.  It\’s simple, down to earth and to me…

It\’s home.

I feel comfortable enough to run around in my socks and underwear at both the Exotic skin shop (located at 398 King East Kitchener, ON, N2G 2L5) all the information and directions can be found here owned and operated by Tim Karn in the same location for over 20 years no less!  Also Jolly Roger\’s here in Montreal.

Yes in case you are wondering I have run around in my socks and underwear at both places!

Now, I personally know scores and scores of other amazing tattoo artists across the globe that I have a ton of respect for too.  Gil & Tim though?  Those boys are my kind of people.  You walk into their shops and there is no mistaking what your walking into.  It\’s the epitome of your a-typical old school tattoo shop.  The kind of place that you can hang out, swear and chill in your panties and ain\’t no one going to give a shit.  Honesty is forthcoming, no bullshit and almost down to the minute quotes!  Gil especially has a knack for this and Tim well I walk in there and say this is what I would like, I have this much money.  Make me look pretty!  Please 🙂  He does!  Neither of them disappoint (at least not yet and Tim and I have been \’married\’ for 10+ years and Gil and I have had an affair for a few years running now).  I always get what I want out of the pieces I choose, they\’re always honest with me if they think that the location or the colors won\’t work and when I go see Tim and book and appointment, he pretty much closes down the shop for ME.

Now that\’s love.

Then you have Adrenaline…  Take a look at their virtual tour, don\’t know about you but looks to me like I just stepped into a fucking mall or an A&F store!  Caters to the \’yuppie Euro trash\’ that Montreal is filled with.  I went in there once, back when I was still married and was co-owner of my own tattoo studio.  It was appalling to me to see the EXACT same pieces that wholesale for maybe $10.00 a piece jacked up to $100.00+ dollars.  HELLO INFLATION!  Sadly, we have been conditioned that if it costs more, then it\’s better right?  I beg to differ.  I\’m ALL about quality over quantity, which is why I totally heart Anatometal these guys are full of win!  Yes a little more costly then say the made in China by a five year old in a sweat shop but they quality will blow your mind!  It\’s like the Rolls Royce of body Jewelry.  One Tribe Organics is another class of people who WIN!  Nope, I have no direct affiliation with them, I just love them so damn much, they deserve kudos!  When I go shopping for clothes, i\’ll go to the Eaton center, when I want a tattoo I sure as hell won\’t get tattooed in a place that has this ridiculous retail rock-a-billy-wannabe punk, Ed Hardy gear vomited all over my studio space.  That\’s one reason why I hate them

Anyway back to the hate rant.  I had a friend who went in for your typical Kanji tattoo.  Nothing wrong with that, something simple, just her name.  She wanted it done in purple, her artist said NO.  Excuse me?  Said it had to be done in black.  Said it was too small to fill in with purple.

WTF?!?

I\’m sorry come again?

After being tattooed for almost a 100 hours at this point in my life, immersing myself in the tattoo \’sub-culture\’, knowing some very talented people and so forth I can NOT stress to people enough to EDUCATE YOURSELF.  Or at least pick up the phone and call me!  You know, your over the top tattooed friend?  She admits she wished she called me first. Everyone I know that has tattoos/is an artist all said WTF that shit ain\’t right.  I couldn\’t agree more!  Who says that your tattoo has to be outlined, let alone filled in with black?  Aside from that one douchebag tattoo artist that is.

Please, enlighten me on this.

I\’m dying to know!

Hell I have tattoos that have no outline at all!

Then there\’s the \’certification certificates\’ from the US.  OK nothing wrong with that, except that this is CANADA.  Way to go smarty pants, seems to me that someone is trying to give themselves far too much credibility here.  Those courses don\’t mean shit to most people, because we all know that a sucker is born every minute and most people don\’t have one iota of a clue what blood born pathogens are, let alone how to contend with them.  Furthermore, there\’s all kinds of \’courses\’ now available on DVD!  Hey nothing like some DIY scarification/tattoo courses now is there!

Anyway the bottom line for me is this: I\’m old school when it comes to tattoos.  I like my tiny hole in the wall shops, which some might consider \’white trash\’ because I refuse to go to a place that\’s so ridiculously over the fucking top when it comes to making money, not to mention can\’t cater to the simplest request.  Likely because they felt that that particular tattoo wasn\’t worth their time.  I get that (small pieces are a bit of hassle), however my money is just as good as anyone else\’s and that place makes my skin crawl.  I know there\’s some good artists that work there, however in this case for me the whole outfit, not to mention Mr. Douchebag tattoo artist pretty much spoiled it for me.  Because YES one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch!  Don\’t you know that mold spreads and pretty much contaminates everything in its immediate radius?

Defend them all you want until your blue in the face, I could care less.  I will however not give one red cent to any of their locations.  I\’d rather chill with my boys in my undies where it\’s comfortable and I feel like a member of the family, not a pay cheque thanks.  I personally like being treated like a person.

Because I am.

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I\’m breaking up with you!

Dear Grief

How have you been doing?  Hanging out, making my life miserable?  Anything else new and exciting?  I just wanted to let you know that we\’re done.  Yep you read that right, its over between you and me.  I have good things in my life and some seriously bitching people as well.  Yet there you are hovering above my sub-conscious mind like the most epic natural disaster waiting to strike someone me dead.

Except I\’m not going to let you.

I\’m tired of you bringing me down.  I don\’t like you, as a matter of fact I can\’t say I ever did.  I don\’t hate anyone or anything.  As a matter of fact I accept that you will turn up in my life once again.  However next time can it be for a reasonable explanation?  Not because one of my friends decided that it was OK to play God and in turn break mine & countless other people\’s hearts.  That would be fabulous.  I hope that isn\’t too much to ask for.

I decided that I want my life back, so you know what?

I\’m going to take it.

Sincerely, Steph

Dear Broken heart,

I think it\’s time you and I had a chat about this whole being broken thing.  It\’s pretty sad when I can say to someone :\”You can\’t break my heart because it\’s already broken.\”  I have a problem with that, not to mention feeling dead inside.  So you along with your friend grief, no longer have a place in my life anymore.  I know you and that bastard grief will team up and invade my life once again.  Possibly you\’ll just show up on your own making me wish that I was a little girl again because:

Skinned knees are easier to heal then a broken heart.

However times have changed and I need to move on.  I\’ve gathered up all the pieces that are left, knowing that it will never look/feel/be the same again.  I have learned to accept this for what it is because there\’s nothing I can do to replace the pieces that were destroyed in your last crusade.  I can however take a long hard look at the pieces that are left and possibly make them resemble something spectacular.  Oh I know that you\’ll come around one day again and destroy my work of art that I have spent the better part of 9 months slaving over.  However in the meantime, I can take what I learned from this whole experience and turn it into something meaningful, special and beautiful.  You can\’t take that away from me.  Even if its only that way to me.  Because really I\’m the only one who matters in this relationship anymore.

I however have news for you; aside from some extreme circumstances I don\’t think that it\’s possible for me to ever hurt that much ever again and I am more then OK with that as a matter of fact.  Because I got through this and even though I totally underestimated the possibility of actually dying from a broken heart, I now fully acknowledge that it is entirely possible.

Only if you let it.

I however can\’t let you do that, so this is where you and I part ways.  We are done and when the time comes that you and I shall meet again I might not be ready and I sure as hell won\’t be waiting but I\’ll know deep down that somewhere, somehow I\’ll make it through and come out on top.  Somewhere, somehow I will find the strength.  I can\’t let you defeat me, it\’s a matter of principal really.

Drop dead.

Love, Steph.

Dear people in my life who suck,

I guess I should \”man up\” and tell you all of this separately face to face but that takes too much time and effort.  You see I\’m busy trying to live again.  Refer to Dear Grief, Dear Broken heart if you don\’t understand this statement.

Quite simply, you have proven to me that you have no place in my life anymore.  That\’s right your actions or lack thereof have brought you to this point.  It\’s really not anything personal, I just decided to do a clean sweep.  You see after September 3rd 2009 my life changed drastically.  You weren\’t there for me when I needed someone the most.  Perhaps what I went through scared the shit out of you, that\’s fine.

Try living through it.

I have since discovered that the people who belong in my life are the one\’s who will let me indulge in my tears and offer me their shoulder to cry on.  The one\’s who wouldn\’t let me sit on my ass at home and cry because they were too worried to leave me alone and out of their sight.  I\’m glad they did, those days were some of the happiest times I have ever had and I\’ll cherish them.  The people who stuck by me as I slugged through the worst period of my life and didn\’t run off because I had far too much emotional baggage yet they still recognized that I had space left for them in my life regardless.  The one\’s who reminded me and continue to remind me that Rome wasn\’t built in a day, who wholly support my foundation to honour the passing of one of the most selfless people I have ever had the privilege to know.

The people who encouraged me when I said I was breaking up with grief, the people who told me that it was still \”new\”/hadn\’t been that long and it was OK to cry, scream and yell.

Those people are the people I want in my life.  People who in spite of myself somehow love me to pieces even when I know personally that I\’m a hard person to love, even the one\’s that don\’t; I still know that they\’ll stand by me and care.  Which is exactly what I need the most.

Which is why we are done now.  I\’m sorry it had to be this way, however actions will always speak louder then words to me.  Its been your actions that led me to this decision and I\’m not sorry that I had to let you go because you were sadly just weighing me down.  I hope you understand that I refuse to drown.

Here\’s to no more failing in life,

Steph

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More random grumblings

So I think I have thought of the best possible solution to le problem that I seemingly have…

Kill them with kindness, it makes them wonder what your up to.

No seriously, I do need to get this off my chest, along with a few cup sizes…

If I manage to do so without yelling and screaming that will be quite the impressive testament to my skills I have to say.  Yeah I know its not what you say, but more so how you say it.

I just hope I recall it all

Sometimes my short term memory fails me, not when I actually want it to.

Of course.

Usually when I am trying to illustrate a really important point, then I forget half of what I was going to say and then I have to bring it up again because my OCD just refuses to let things like these go.

I am also thinking that I might be having a mid life crisis.  Totally plausible, I\’ll be *cough* 32 *cough* soon and well seeing as how a majority of my family drops dead dies from some hideous form of cancer passes onto to the after life if there even is one around 64 or so with a few exceptions, that would in fact put me at the halfway mark which is mid-life no?

BRING IT ON!