2011 Review

2011 started out a little rough, however it quickly shaped up to be one of the most amazing years yet!

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Help feed & serve the homeless on Christmas Eve with my mom & sister.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I haven’t bothered with them in years.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My best friend of 27+ years had an adorable baby girl!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes

5. What countries did you visit?

How about provinces? I went to Ontario for Christmas.  Not a very exciting year in terms of travel.  Yet again…  I aim to change that for this year!

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

Less drama and less BS.  Little more cash perhaps, the ability to travel more…

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

March 17th the day that I realized that some things you can\’t do on your own, some people are only meant to be a part of your life for a short period of time and everything really does happen for a reason.

April 28th: The day I took my freedom back and go the hell out of an apartment I hated.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Quitting smoking

9. What was your biggest failure?

Starting smoking again…

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Yes. Nothing too serious

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A new ipod shuffle because I need music to keep me sane.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I\’m going to be shallow and say mine along with Anna, Heather and Chantal.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Pete (same one as last year, he\’s no longer a part of my life anymore), Bryan, Paul, A, C, J and S

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills, bills and more bills! A few concerts, 2 trips to Ontario.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

My tattoo appointment (as per), seeing Pearl Jam live for the first time, seeing the Lion King with my mom.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Can’t say I have one particular song in mind.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

I am mostly happier, thinner and richer in a non monetary way.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Being social, boxing, traveling to some place other then Ontario.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Moving, painting walls, wasting time on people that simply don\’t matter enough to me to waste my precious time on.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

I was in Ontario with my family & friends and it was awesome!  I had an exceptional Christmas this year!

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

Yes but it\’s over now.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Grey\’s, private practice, big bang theory, two broke girls.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Yes.

24. What was the best book you read?

The Millennium Trilogy (The girl with the dragon tattoo, the girl who played with fire, the girl who kicked the hornet\’s nest)

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Young the giant, Emerson drive not necessarily the \’greatest\’ per se but memorable just the same 😀

26. What did you want and get?

More work done on my sleeve, which is now almost done!  A home for Shamrock my foster dog, to be able to help a friend out that really needed it the most.

27. What did you want and not get?

This year, oddly enough I have nothing to add here.  It\’s a good thing!

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

The girl with the dragon tattoo.  It was an amazing rendition that was exceptionally close to the book with a few excerpts from books 2 & 3 thrown in.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 33 and had a small, yet fun gathering.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not being in debt.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Pretty much the same as it usually is.  I like simple, classic and classy.

32. What kept you sane?

My friends, my family, my job. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without them this year!  I am so very fortunate to have such amazing people in my life!

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

That’s not my style, I could care less about that sort of thing.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

This year I paid scant attention to politics period.

35. Who did you miss?

Jason, my mom, Pete.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Christina!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

That some people are so poor that the only thing they have is money.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

\”Whatever doesn\’t kill me

Doesn\’t make me stronger
But I\’m not gonna give up yet
And if these walls should weaken
I\’m still strong enough to know
I\’m gonna build them up again\”

Finger 11 Whatever doesn\’t kill me 

Becoming humble

A little while ago a friend of mine had posted on facebook that she was going to be helping out at the bridge\’s  on Christmas eve.  Serving Christmas dinner to the under privileged and the homeless.  She lives in Cambridge and while I currently reside in Montreal I always come home for the holidays, this year was no exception.

So I send her a message and mentioned that I would love to help and to let me know what I can do.  Christmas eve isn\’t the same without my grandmother around anymore and this year I didn\’t have any solid plans, so what a better way to kick start the holidays then to give back to my home town community?

My mom had asked what I was doing and when I told her, she asked if my sister and herself could tag along.  I didn\’t see the harm, the worst that could happen would be that they said no, they had all the help that they needed.  It was a bitterly cold day and at 3:30 pm we arrived at 26 Simcoe street in Galt armed and ready.  We were all put to work and banged out a turkey dinner with all the fixings, along with salad, cheese & veggie platters and some delicious looking  home made desserts.

We split ourselves up into sections and made sure that everything was ready to go.  Then we opened the doors to the public.  There were ALL walks of life, from the young to the seemingly very old and all age groups in between.  Some looked ashamed to be there, perhaps lonely…  In any case, every single one of them looked grateful.  I dropped their food off to their tables with a smile and a merry Christmas.  Everyone said thank you and you could tell that they meant it and wished me a merry Christmas and I went on my way.

It was interesting to watch these people interact with each other.  I\’m always curious about human behavior and for the most part, most people seemed to be in high spirits and had a jovial attitude in spite of their circumstances, whatever they may be.  The one\’s that made me the most sad however were the one\’s that were all alone and another one that really stood out was this young man who was only 19.  Nineteen years old.  It\’s not right.  A good thing was that there wasn\’t a lot of people there, that was awesome because that meant that they had somewhere (hopefully better) to go.  Even if it\’s just for the night, no one should ever be alone at Christmas.

It made me think.  Hard as a matter of fact.  We all take things for granted in this life, it\’s human nature and some things simply can not be helped.  Tragic circumstances however changed things for me.  When Jason died, I learned a very valuable lesson: friends are important, tell them that you love them because you never know what day could very well be their last.  It was a painful lesson to have learned but it stuck with me.  Helping out at the shelter however, has made me appreciate all that I have that much more.

Society as a whole these days have become driven by greed, a need for all the latest gadgets and toys among other things.  We have also become quite wasteful too.  It\’s shameful really when you think about it.  I have a really good life, I have a good career, a nice home, wonderful family and some pretty exceptional friends.  After having experienced what I did last night, I could care less about what is or isn\’t under the tree this year.

I have all that I need.    

\"\"

Define necessity…

I seen this on facebook & this is what prompted this post:

\"\"

I find with it being the holidays people are seemingly a little more generous.  Usually.  However I personally try to be generous all year round and extra generous when the holidays roll around because that\’s when the sting of not having much, if anything at all seems to hurt the most.  I also find that those who have the least are always willing to give the most.

Now don\’t get me wrong, I LOVE to buy things for me.  Who doesn\’t?  However somethings I\’ve had to wait years to obtain.  Like my bad ass kitchen Aid mixer.  However being the procrastinator that I am, doing one\’s taxes in late November can have a huge pay off.  Not just for me mind you, but others.

I\’m a firm believer that charity begins at home and while I do feel sorry for those children in the picture above, I am also grateful that I have a lovely home, food in my fridge and friends and family who accept me for who I am.  Some charities and not for profits can\’t afford mass amounts of media coverage that make people feel sorry for others and encourage them to give.  These are the people that I think of the most often when I am able to give back in the hopes that someday, somehow that it will be paid forward.

This year for Christmas, instead of spending my substantial tax return on myself and myself alone I did/doing three things.  I helped save a dog from being put to death hours before he was due to hit the gas chamber.  Myself, along with a friend, my dad and the help of an animal rescue I am pleased to say that Shamrock will be getting a new home for Christmas!  Between my father and I, we were able to pony up the adoption fee money weeks before the holidays.  Money that I could have spent on a new tattoo or some other thing for me.  Instead Shamrock and I will be making the trek to Ontario along with friends and 2 other dogs to his new home in Cambridge, ON so that he can meet his new dad and his new sister Belgium.  Had it not been for the money and the sheer generosity of a ride to Ontario Shamrock would have been placed in a rescue once again waiting for his forever home.

I have a friend who lives in Tennessee.  I absolutely love her, she brightens my day with her presence and seemingly knows when I\’m down and need a pick me up or just a smile.  She & her family, like so many others are struggling to make ends meet.  It broke my heart to read her husbands plea on a public forum asking for help.  It\’s never easy to swallow one\’s pride and ask for help and while I\’m not comfortable with sending anyone money (including registered charities) I do like to pitch in and help just the same!  She has two children and while I am not a parent myself I do have \’my kids\’ and I couldn\’t imagine how I would feel not being able to do something.  Christmas is the most magical thing for children and I can fondly recall waking up in the wee hours of the morning and running downstairs with anticipation with my sister to see what Santa has left under the tree.  There\’s a care package en route from Canada to the US to that family & while it\’s not much I know that they appreciate it so much!  Which is why I took it upon myself to do this and told her about it after I had done it.

Simply because I could.       

I\’m also donating and/or \’re-gifting\’  some items I have gotten from other people as presents that I would have no use for or things that I had purchased for a different project and no longer need.  Mostly bath items and the like.  I ALWAYS appreciate the thought behind the gifts that I get from the \’clients\’ at work, it\’s always nice to be thought of any time of year.  However I would feel terrible if it was just to sit around my apartment and never get used.  So for those things, I am passing them onto an abused woman\’s shelter.  Some of these woman have no choice but to flee with the clothes on their back and little else.  We tend to take the simple pleasures in life for granted.  Something as simple as a bottle of perfume or a nice smelling soap, something that adds that feminine touch to your day.  So while I am thankful to be thought of, I know that these items will be that much more appreciated because I have them in abundance and others do not.

These are the forgotten one\’s.  So next time when you think about giving, try to give locally and to those that don\’t get the attention that they need and certainly deserve.  I didn\’t write this post to \’brag\’ about what I did.  Because I don\’t need to do such a thing to feel better about myself.  I don\’t require countless amounts of praise from anyone.  I just feel good inside knowing that I made a difference, even if it\’s just a small one in the lives of others.  I also didn\’t go about it alone either.  I am grateful & thankful that I have such generous people in my life!  The bottom line?  If I can do this, so can you!

Pay it forward, not just today but everyday.

Online dating: the do\’s & don\’t edition

Here\’s what slays me, in this day and age a lot of people utilize online dating websites.  It\’s a lot more convient then to bother going to all the trouble of trying to meet someone in person.  Most people won\’t own up to this though.  Every single guy I know who uses a popular (and free) dating site, the conversation always starts with: A buddy of mine set up a profile for me and I met this woman…  Online dating, the hidden shame of us all.  It is however, not without it\’s pitfalls…

I get a lot of messages depending on what category I place myself in.  I\’ve tested this theory out and the most attention grabbing (and also garnered the creepiest replies) was of course \’intimate encounters\’ a close second although not nearly as popular was dating.  Haven\’t ever bothered with a long term commitment, figure my in-box would look like a ghost town and that\’s not really what I\’m after from the get go anyway…  The whole hang out/e-mail talk thing hasn\’t ever been an option I\’ve chosen, nor activity partner.  I figure intimate encounters pretty much covers this, after all sex is an activity right?

Of course it is! 

Anyway…  Online there\’s no consequences, or at the very least not very many.  I personally keep my profile pretty brief and to the point.  Most people these days have short attention spans.  That being said:

Don\’t write a fucking novel!  Jesus Christ.  It\’s one thing to write a well thought out profile that show cases your highlights.  More often then not though, they usually start with something like OMG I am SO bad at talking about myself lulz and then they proceed to write their life stories, the cliff notes edition.

Use proper grammar and spelling!  Jesus Christ!  Is it really that difficult to spell out an entire word?  You know instead of U how about adding those three extra letters.  OR PEOPLE WHO TYPE LIKE THIS -or- my personal favorite LiKe THsI.  I had a discussion about this with someone last night.  Not bothering to use proper spelling and or grammar makes you look like a fucking idiot who didn\’t make it past grade 2.

Private messages: It\’s one thing to drop someone a quick word or five to open up the line\’s of communication.  However it is in poor taste to write a message to someone that is another novel that highlights your income, the kind of car that you drive and blah fucking blah.  You know what that says to a woman like me?  I\’m insecure and I\’ll buy you everything that you want because I\’m really trying to buy your love because dammit I need someone to fuck love me. Or that you\’re a materialistic douche bag.  Either way? Do. Not. Want.  Real woman who will like you for you and you alone, don\’t need to know your entire pedigree.  We\’re not buying a dog.

Comments on my pictures and or  my tattoos:  Yes I am pretty to most people, thank you.  However saying: \’Yeah but you\’re really hot, you must not be having any problems getting laid\” Well not usually no I don\’t.  However I don\’t need you to point that out.  Proves to me that you\’re terribly, terribly insecure.

NOT ATTRACTIVE!  

Saying you want to lick all of my tattoos is not a turn on.  I have 27 and they\’re essentially all over the place.  Yes I do have my naughty bits tattooed (and pierced) also my butt cheek, along with one on my big toe and I\’m sporting one in my left armpit among other places.  Do you really want to lick my armpit?  Furthermore do *I* want you to lick my armpit?  No.  No I do not.  What are you a dog?  Do I need a bath?  Do you feel that my skin is dry and I should drink more water and or up the ante on my moisturizer?  So just don\’t.  It\’s NOT attractive and makes you look like a douchebag.

YOUR pictures: The whole point about dating period is all about looking to score.  Regardless of what you want, we\’re all searching for something or someone.  Perhaps you\’ll get lucky and actually find it.  So naturally no one isn\’t going to post pictures of themselves looking anything less then their best usually.  Most guys do OK in this department.  Here\’s what\’s not OK (in my eyes at least)

  • Pictures of your ride.  What are you a fucking transformer?  No?  Didn\’t think so!  Likely you\’re over compensating for something.  I don\’t want to know what that something is.
  • Your bitchin\’ tan.  Most of you look like Jersey shore rejects, it\’s not hot.
  • Pictures with what is clearly your ex girlfriend cut out of the picture.  Take 5 mins and take a new one!  Jesus!
  • The mirror pictures showing off your so called \’bad\’ self.  For example (yes this is an actual picture from someone who messaged me)
  • \"\"

The caption: a sneak peek at my physique.  You want to know what I see:

  1. A sneak peek into your mom\’s/grandmother\’s and or wife\’s bedroom.  The glaring mauve walls and 80\’s mirror are a dead giveaway.  Along with the flowery curtains and the picture of Marilyn Monroe.  I have one of her too because I love her but mine\’s hotter.
  2. Back hair.  It looks like your pubes have escaped from your groin and planted themselves above your butt crack.
  3. Douchebag taking a picture of themselves in a mirror.  Self timer\’s, even my fucking phone\’s camera has one.  Try it sometime.

Pictures of your junk: Most guys assume that if you place yourself in the intimate encounters category, you automatically want a picture of their cock.  No, no I don\’t actually.  Why?  Because I, unlike most people have professional pictures of mine.  Thank you Hylton!  I happen to have a really awesome, rock star vag.  That aside, I am also a Chef.  I\’m a very visual person in that regard (not unlike most men) and to coin a phrase from someone: \”I eat with my eyes first\” and that\’s true!  So when you send a girl a picture of your junk and it\’s not up to par.  I\’m going to judge your sorry ass!  I won\’t post pictures of some of the eye bleach inducing    genitals I\’ve gotten lately but I will tell you this much.  Make. An. Effort.  I personally haven\’t ever been with a guy who isn\’t cut and after seeing the latest, I really don\’t want to.  Not trying to be all judgmental, however not one of you is selling me on it.  Really you\’re not, not in the least.

Save for one.  I\’m giving him a medal, only because I feel that he deserves one.  As a general rule of thumb, best not to send a picture of your junk unless she asks for it.  It\’re pretty damn presumptuous of you to assume that we want to see it.  Also your definition of well endowed can likely vary vastly from mine and on a final note if your going to take a self shot, best not to do it when looking down.  Why?  Because when I look down at my chest, it\’s not nearly as large as it actually is.  Ergo, you\’re selling yourself short (pun is totally intended).

So if you\’re going to create an online profile looking to score, might want to keep some of these points in mind.  Men judge woman based on many, many things and you know what? We do the same.