Yeah but its MY labia!

I know, I know I\’m talking about vag again.  This time however its not mine, its someone Else\’s.  While I do maintain a somewhat active role in the \”modification community\” at large, my participation has lessened quite a bit.  Unless of course I am talking about my own work.  After all, it is my blog.  I also try to avoid drama at all costs, but like I said to Mr. A.P. last night:\” I don\’t seek out drama, but I seem to attract quite a bit of it\”.  Which is why I was debating writing this post at all, however seeing as how I choose to comment on Ania\’s mod related blog I guess I somewhat brought some of that drama into my life?  Anyway, it all started with this.  Now I could link endlessly to the pissing contest that has ensued since then, however I honestly can not and will not be bothered.  However I do feel compelled to share my $5.00 on the topic of how much is too much?

In terms of body modification that is.

I misunderstood Russ Foxx\’s quote \” But most doctors won\’t perform these types of procedures, said Russ Foxx, a body-modification specialist in Vancouver. \”That leaves us in a predicament. Who do I go to?\” he said.  Foxx said he learns how to perform procedures from talking to veteran practitioners, reading books and traveling to conventions.\”  Whereas I commented on Ania\’s blog that I call bullshit because most plastic surgeons will in fact perform cosmetic surgery on one\’s vag.  Ear pointing, tongue splitting (and so on) not so much.  I get that, as in the whole where do I go? Because like most of the educated modified people I know personally do an insane amount of research before progressing with anything regardless of whether or not its deemed \”experimental\” , high risk or whatever or not.  If you are modified, then you can understand/comprehend and relate to this.  Essentially, its what makes US happy at the end of the day.  We do it because we want to, for a number of reasons.  The bottom line is this: If you want something/anything bad enough you will seek it out actively until you get.  Some of us will spare no expense or take ridiculous risks and some of us will take the time to seek out a trusting, educated individual to preform the work we seek.  Tattoos, piercings, scars whatever.

However there is also a lot of stupid people out there as well.  I can\’t help but agree with Steve Peace to a degree when he said:\” Where do you stop?  I\’m a tattoo artist, not a Dr.\” OK fine, I\’ll give you that.  If it bothers you that much, then by all means stick with tattooing then.  I also agree that there IS in fact a lot of people who claim to know what the hell they\’re doing (they don\’t) and I for one know of a few people who really don\’t have the training or the skills to be pulling off a lot of what they do.  Yes a labia reduction, ear pointing, tongue splitting to name a few do fall under the surgical category.  Most modification artists aren\’t Dr.\’s of any shape or form, however its not as if she went in for breast implants either.  OK slightly contradictory yes, however regardless of whether its a Dr, your best friend, your tattoo artist or some dirt-bag in a back alley doing your stuff the risk factor is always there.  How high that risk factor is really depends on what your getting done and how controlled the environment that your in is as well.  Not to mention the cost factor as well.  I was told by her that she was quoted 4 grand by a surgeon, that\’s a lot of coin to make your vag look nice to your satisfaction.  Some people are willing to spend that kind of money, others not so much.  Some people can\’t simply find someone they trust enough that\’s a professional surgeon to do the work or whatever the reasons are.  Wether you are getting plastic surgery or a tattoo, you\’re altering the way your body looks forever.

I happen to know of said person in question.  I\’ve never met her personally, however I am quite familiar with and totally support her shop.  I\’m from Ontario and spent a lot of time in Guelph so maybe my loyalty stems from that.  In any case  I am however also a woman & I can totally relate to looking at certain body parts and loathing their overall appearance in general.  I personally tattoo them.  I was dead against getting my sleeves started until my arms were more toned.  Then I said fuck it, now I\’m sporting some awesome in progress sleeves.  Why?  Because to me its taking something you deem \”ugly\” and turning it into something beautiful.  I also have my pubic mound tattooed, not entirely for the same reasons mind you, but I get it.

Now for ME personally, I don\’t have the proverbial balls do get my vag that modified as in a surgical manner.  Christ I had a hard enough time  getting my VCH done!  Never mind someone toying with my bits with a scalpel (I am shuddering inwardly, as is my vag).  However, this individual had the guts, the research, not to mention a trusted individual on hand to go through with getting it done.  I can admire that and you know I am rather curious about the whole procedure as whole just because I\’m a curious person.

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So i\’m really

not so down with the sickness.  As a matter of fact, I hate being sick period.   So. Damn. Much.

I\’m one of those stubborn pain in the ass types who will still cook you dinner in spite of the fact that I\’m vomiting.  Yeah for real, that was last weekends lovely gastro incident.  I just couldn\’t give in.
Being sick makes me want to crawl into a whole and die, want my mommy, wonder how dare germs even think its OK to invade my body.
You see I was blessed with bronchial asthma.  So while most people will only get the common cold, mine travels south and takes up all the precious space in my lungs.  Its like a free-loading house guest that has over-stayed their welcome and refuses to leave.

I also hate being one of those people who runs to the doctor every time they have a runny nose.  So I generally suck it up and spend copious amounts of my precious hard earned money on OTC pills that I damn well know I\’m not supposed to take.
Oops my bad!
I still do it anyway because I need to work & I can not work around food while coughing up gobs of goo from anywhere in my body. Although this time around was quite the learning experience! Did you know that snot also comes in orange? This was news to me, believe it though. I seen it, it came out of my own nose.

Most of that crap has Dextromethorphan in it.  Asthmatics and people with various other diseases aren\’t allowed to have anything with DM in it because it gives you a false sense of wellness while its really hardening the goo inside your lungs.  I know, awesome right? Coughing to the point where you vomit is even more awesome, trust me on this.
So there I am thinking that I was finally starting to get over this abundance of crap & out of no where my sinus infection made a not so triumphant return. I was a little bitter needless to say.

So like every other damn time I get a cold, I get deathly ill.  Awesome coughing spasms that made him & my mom cringe.  After being damn near nagged to death several suggestions from concerned individuals to go see a Dr. which I relentlessly refused to do.  I caved.  Mostly because I promised him that if it got worse, I would in fact go see a Dr.  Because my Dr. Lambert\’s cough syrup just wasn\’t cutting it (also not nearly as effective as an inhaler according to him).  Well it was to a degree, because after two days even though I was coughing non stop, the phlegm was coming up with the force of a freight train on speed.

So was my dinner.

However on Easter Monday after having to bail not only on him (twice), but my friend Jen as well I said fuck it and went to the clinic.  Mostly because when I woke up that morning my sinuses were blocked like no one\’s business & when I made a lame attempt to breathe through my mouth I sounded like a coffee maker when its almost finished brewing.  Yeah I know, healthy isn\’t it?  That was a little disconcerting.  So after waiting three hours to see a Dr. for all of oh I dunno maybe 7 minutes I scored some heavy duty antibiotics & much to my chagrin a damn inhaler.

I must say that my 10 pills for the price of $30.00 dollars (co-pay) have started to work their magic.  The infection itself is gone & I now have the energy to dance around my living room in my underwear work, do some housework and you know function.   Ah but this inhaler and I are going to be BFF\’s for the next month.

FUN!

The infection may be gone, the inflammation however is sticking it out.  This inhaler scares me.  I was told by Dr. Converse there (he was wearing Chuck Taylor\’s, I respect that) that failure to rinse out my mouth after using this inhaler would lead to tongue fungus.   AKA Thrush or  even better: a yeast infection in your mouth. That sounds about as much fun as having one between my legs.  Although it just sounds so much sexier don\’t you think?  Mmmmmm  I can see it now: \” What do you mean you don\’t want to kiss me?  It was you who suggested I get an inhaler honey.\”  That\’s a total turn on right there!

At least this Dr. didn\’t have a \”sweater\” and sitting in the clinic for three hours wasn\’t nearly as amusing as sitting in the ER with Carly Cakes    for at least 8 hours after pulling a muscle from coughing so hard.  That time was even better, I was sporting a mask listening to her say wait for it, no, no, wait for it and then bust out singing the chorus to easy lover, dancing in the chair while we ate crap out of the vending machine out of sheer boredom, as I tried not to cough to death from laughing so hard.  At least she makes being sick fun & she brought me Arahova\’s (from the WI location, one of our favorite places) and that\’s one of the many reasons why I love her & miss her so! <3

I attacked my apt. with gusto using Lysol wipes, and other disinfectant things to kill the germs.  Now that I finally get to see him again, I just might spray his ass down with Lysol as well.

Just in case 😉

Fear & loathing

no, not in Vegas.  Here in the privacy of my own home as I sit here and contemplate a few things.  The meaning of life not being one of those things.  Everyone has fears, some of them completely and utterly irrational to most people.  However if that fear resonates inside of you, its very real.  I can recall a few times from my early teenage years that the most devastating thing that could ever happen to you would be to get pregnant.  Sitting in the clinic waiting to pee in some cup because that\’s the free option (those damn tests cost a fortune), in spite of the looks you know your going to get from the nurse.  The fear that courses through your veins while waiting 15 mins for the lab to process your test, praying to anyone/someone that your not going to fall prey to teenage pregnancy.  I got lucky in that regard, I never got pregnant while I was a teenager.

I\’m not an irresponsible person, especially when it comes to sex.  Things happen, mistakes happen, guys pull stupid stunts like oh it broke so I took it off.  Really?  Well here\’s another one, in spite of my being on the pill for what feels like forever.  Plan B is a God send for those situations, which I have thankfully only had twice in the past 31 years.  The first time I was 18, you needed a prescription from the doctor.  Christ that made me sick!  No I don\’t believe that plan B is the ultimate form of birth control because its not.  However when faced with these situations its nice to have a \”plan B\” as opposed to waiting to see if you get your period or not.  Now in most provinces you can get it without a prescription, that\’s a good thing in some regards.  Yes I guess in a way it could be a double edged sword but in the same token its less taxing on clinics and our heath care system overall.  People tend to run to a clinic or the ER for nonsense things such as a runny nose or things such as plan B.   Yes I am guilty of doing one of those things, but as a teenager/young adult I didn\’t care have those options that we do now.

There\’s a different level of terror that comes with sitting in your bathroom with that test in your hand watching and waiting for something to happen.  Waiting until your late for some people isn\’t an option, especially if your on the pill.  Why?  Because your period isn\’t real.  Which is precisely why when your on the pill you can skip those 7 day sugar pills and move onto the next pack period free.  So says my OBGYN anyway, haven\’t tried that yet.  Mostly because of the whole cost thing, they\’re not expensive by any means but still.  Being under QC\’s health care which includes drug benefits, they only allow you to refill your script 12x through the year and my Dr. only gives me 6 months at a time.  Whereas skipping those would mean I need at least 2 extra packs a year to make up for them.

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Oh christ, I have another stalker!

Oh goodness!  Some people never cease to blow my mind.  Just when you think something is over, it never really is.  Well at least not in this case.  I use reCAPTCHA which is free software to stop spam bots to hide my e-mail address that I have set up for this blog.  I get enough spam messages as it is, who needs more?  Anyway that being said, I have quite the following of readers (thanks guys!) and do get the odd e-mail from time to time about various things/compliments/asking for advice on something or whatever.  I don\’t mind that at all, unless its something utterly ridiculous such as this. I also love calling people on their BS 🙂 However this time, I\’m not going to bother responding privately because its just SO utterly bogus (not to mention exceptionally amusing to me) so I thought I would share in the nefarious glee that I have in doing so with the rest of my dear readers.  Normally I wouldn\’t bother to stoop so utterly low, but this guy is a psycho-pathetic ass who obviously reads my blog (otherwise how would they have my personal e-mail?) also seems like he doesn\’t want to let go.  So to protect my own interests, I decided against it.  I also created an e-mail just for my blog which I should have done in the first place (ah well live and learn right?)  Besides this is pretty damn funny (at least to me) and well hey why be selfish and keep this all to myself?  Not only that, this isn\’t the first stalker I have had and I somehow doubt he\’ll be the last…

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