I am most likely the most inconsistent blogger out there! I see the last time that I posted was back in August. I could sit here and write a novel about what\’s happened the last few months but quite honestly, I don\’t have the time, need, want nor desire to do so but I\’ll re-cap and post some highlights just for fun.

I started a new job yet again, seems like 2008 has been a total epic FAIL when it comes to work, at least for me. Mostly because I hated 98% of the places I worked at, only 2 being the exception. What can I say I\’m a picky bitch and if I don\’t like the way things are done then I just pack it in and leave. After my latest stint as a sous Chef in Westmount I was pretty much ready to burn my Chef uniforms in effigy which I think may have given me some satisfaction.

Then I lucked out and found the most amazing job ever! I can honestly say for the first time in oh I dunno the last 16 years I\’ve had a job I actually LIKE where I work and getting up in the morning no longer makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a plastic fork!

Some of my clients though do make me want to stab myself in the forehead with whatever sharp object I can get my hands on. My work is a tiny place which I enjoy quite a bit because its more personal and everything is homemade which I love! Not to mention the Monday-Friday 9-5 hours and the 4 weeks off a year. But sometimes the people that come in or call drive me absolutely FUCKING INSANE! I work by myself until roughly 11:30 in the morning, I don\’t have time to answer the phone because *YOU* want to know what the special of the day is, come in and find out! Or better yet, get yourself put on the mailing list and like magic the weeks menu will appear in your in box first thing Monday morning.
Then there\’s the stupid questions, that I ain\’t even going to get into because there\’s just TOO many of them. Bottom line is I\’m busy trying to cook and have no time to deal with your dumb ass! If you have a LEGITIMATE question in regards to the food or my cooking methods because you have special dietary needs or allergies then I will be more then happy to do my best to accommodate you, if not well then FUCK OFF!

These are 2 of my favorite customer related moments:

Phone rings:
Is this Stephanie?
Yes
What\’s the special today?
Sliced ROAST pork with apricot glaze and mashed potatoes
What kind of pork is it?
I didn\’t realise there was more then one kind of pork… As far as I knew it all came from the same animal (insert sarcasm here)
Well is it roasted?
(notice how I said ROAST PORK when I answered the phone) Yes…
Well how is it made?
In the oven… (to myself I\’m thinking stupid twat)
well how is it served?
(again I said sliced did I not, oh yes, indeed I most certainly did) Sliced with a glaze and mashed potatoes and salad as per the usual on a plate.
Oh… and the soup?
I don\’t know yet the phone won\’t stop ringing and I haven\’t had time to make it yet.
Oh, well you sound like you\’re busy (well DUH! not to mention seriously annoyed!)
Why yes I am, as I ALWAYS am this time of the day. (again dripping with sarcasm, I really hate this old bag)
Well I\’ll see you later for lunch then.
OK then, I\’ll see you later (enter the fake nice voice here)

Fast forward to lunch, I ended up making lentil soup because it\’s fast and ridiculously easy to make in a pinch.

So she asks my co-worker if she can taste it… Of course she doesn\’t like it because she HATES everything that we make yet keeps coming back WTF?

Then has the nerve to say:\”what did Steph do open a can of Campbell\’s? I called at 10:30 and the soup wasn\’t made yet.\” My co-worker says no, Steph makes all of her soup from scratch (which I do). Keeping in mind that our lunch service doesn\’t start until NOON as in 12pm and it doesn\’t take me hours to make soup, this isn\’t the dark ages. Us less bitch, comes in once a week and totally insults EVERYTHING! So I stopped picking up the phone on Wednesdays because that\’s when she usually calls.

Generally I try to make lentil soup vegetarian, the boss lady doesn\’t exactly always approve of me \”accommodating\” vegetarians because were not a vegetarian restaurant but I am a firm believer that especially if your making a vegetable based soup then it should be VEGETARIAN. The boss lady LOVES chicken stock a little too much and likes to add it to my soup because she feels it needs more salt, then USE SALT THEN. Fuck we have salt on the table, people can add more if they wish. I don\’t like to over season my food because everyone likes it differently.
Anyway back to the lentil soup incident…

A woman comes in and has a total hissy fit because I had no more veggie stock on hand and used beef stock instead. You should have seen her! It was priceless! Her eyelashes were batting a mile a minute and she\’s says to my co-worker in a rather loud obnoxious voice:\”HOW YOU COULD MAKE LENTIL SOUP BEEF BASED FOR? ITS SUPPOSED TO BE VEGETARIAN!?!\”
Sensing my co-workers distress I came over and politely stated that actually no it IS generally beef based. She wheels around and screams at me:\”WELL THE INDIAN PLACE I GO TO HAS VEGETARIAN LENTIL SOUP!\”
I just gave her my look of utter disdain and said:\” well generally *I* make it vegetarian (which I do) but today I wasn\’t able to because I didn\’t have adequate amounts of veggie stock on hand for one thing and I don\’t know if you\’ve noticed or not but this *ISN\’T* an Indian restaurant either.\”

She left in a huff, OK by me!…

Oh there\’s so much more which I will save for another day because I just spent the better part of 12 hours travelling from Christmas and its time for me to get some sleep.