Category Archives: Totally bad ass!

by

Lovely changes

So I think, stress the term think that maybe I\’ll have a plan for this whole school thing.  Hopefully one that is not only affordable, but realistic enough to not compromise my already insane schedule already.  Because as much as I love doing that Chef thing I do, its high time I got out before I tear out every single strand of hair on my head or go totally postal.  I could see either of those happening.  In any case I have hit up every single college and university that offers distance learning because the thought of parking my derriere in an actual classroom seriously lacks appeal to me!  All in due course, I have a long list of things that I want to acomplish first so all in due time.

However there\’s been several other things that have crossed my mind that I can do in the immediate/near future so you know what?  I\’m going to do them, quite simply be cause I can therefore I will 🙂  The way I see it, why repress one self when you can express yourself.  I\’m amazed at how much my way of thinking has changed and evolved since I moved here.  Or perhaps its because I\’m older and all those \”young adult\” hang ups I had are now gone?  Meh who knows and quite frankly I don\’t think anyone actually cares.  I\’m also looking forward to some much needed social interaction with some good people!  Its sad that my friends and I have so very different lifestyles and schedules that more often then not cause some serious conflict when it comes to that sort of thing.  I\’m meeting Jen for lunch tomorrow and I can\’t wait!  I LOVE spending time with her!

I have a short shift so taking advantage of that in every way I can!  Work has actually been dare I say, pretty awesome the past few days!  After the staff meeting we had, it seems like for the most part were on the same page and have a common goal which is awesome.  Not only that I happen to work with some really great people who make me laugh non stop.  So that\’s a win situation right there!  I\’m also looking forward to the saintwoods four year anniversary party.   Its going to be awesome to go out, get utterly wasted and just have on hell of a good time!  Finally something that isn\’t on a weekend IE Friday/Saturday that I can actually attend, fabulous!

by

6 drunk guys, an angry Chef and

a baseball bat…

I can only imagine the look on R\’s face when he pulled up in front of the restaurant coming back from a delivery only to find it surrounded by police cruisers…  Needless to say Friday night/Saturday morning was FAR from boring.  We were busy, and by busy I mean not stop total chaos ALL night!  So we decided in the best interest of all of us to close early.  We were running out of food, the fryers had gotten so low on oil that even making an order of fries was complicated.  We had orders flying out the door and for some reason we had a whole lot of drunk people piling in as well.  Which killed me because you can plainly see that were busy and while most people were pretty cool about it, this one emo-tard was being a douche-bag so I made him wait longer for his food on purpose.  Mostly because I could!  Anyway that\’s irrelevant to my \”mishap\” that occurred.

So R had to go on some deliveries because we were totally swamped and we opted to close at 3:30am instead of 4.  So I was asked to watch the computer, and what have you.  No problem!  That is until 6 drunk guys stumbled in the door at 3:35 am…  A large majority of them being black, except for that cute French white guy oh and one girl.  All of them at least half a foot taller if not more so then I and considerably larger then myself.  Yes the whole racial profiling thing has some relevance and I will get to that in a second.  They come up to the counter and after a minute of  hey how are you stuff, they got pretty pissed that I told them due to circumstances beyond our control we had to shift our closing time from 4am to 3:30.  So they were all dissapointed, which was what I expected except for this one guy who wouldn\’t take no for an answer!  He was literally begging me to make him food.  Thankfully C had no more orders working at the time so I stood firm and said no.  I even turned down a walk-in pick up order because we both had enough and wanted to get the hell out of there!

Then this one asshole got exceptionally belligerent and well he just picked the wrong place/date/time to get up my ass!  There was no room left there for anyone else at that point!  All of his friends were like look man she\’s closed let\’s go and he just wouldn\’t leave!  So then he slams his fist down on the counter and says your not listening to me.  So I in turn slammed my fist down on the counter and said no your not fucking listening to me!  So on comes the ultimate screaming match with some random dude…  His friends got smart and left and only that asshole and the one guy trying to contain him were still inside.  He just wouldn\’t get the hint so I went out front to escort them out and possibly punch someone in the face.  All of his friends and a few random customers came in once again and it was getting crowded in there and no one was listening to me.  My co-worker well he was no help what so ever…  So since they wouldn\’t leave I went back behind the counter to grab the baseball bat that we have in the kitchen for some random reason.  That\’s when things got really ugly.

The whole front was total chaos, I was getting ready to start knocking heads off like some people do mailboxes.  So drunk guys buddy gets all up in my face talking shit, saying listen to me over and over again.  WTF there isn\’t anything left to say other then get the fuck outta my restaurant!   My co-worker ended up calling the cops who to my amazement showed up in about 5 minutes and broke the party up.  Turns out because these two girls came in and seeing how it was late I let them stay in there because they were running away from some random dude; drunken ass thought I was refusing to serve him because he was black.  WTF!?!  Are you kidding me?  No I don\’t give a damn what your race/gender/ etc. is if I\’m CLOSED I am NOT serving ANYONE!   So needless to say the cops took care of them, made sure that those of us inside were OK and that was that.  No one at work is going to screw with me now lol.

So yesterday I was only supposed to work from 8-11pm because the other guy I was working with I ended up working for him Friday night but I somehow got sucked into working from 8pm-4am UGH… Anyway G asked me if I knew the guys name so that he could call him and apologize for Friday night.  If ANYONE should be apologized to, its ME.  So what if that one guy orders a lot, I make ALL the damn food that comes outta that place more often then not!  Yeah I get that we need the business (what place doesn\’t?) and all that shit but honestly the personal safety of your staff should come first!  If my own personal safety is threatened in ANY way I will do whatever it takes to protect myself!  Its not as if I was having a bad night and felt the need to get in touch with my inner bad ass.  That really pissed me off!  I spoke to my immediate boss about that and one of the owners.  While I respect their point of view, I don\’t agree with it at all!

Although in spite of all the bullshit, some good things do happen!  The biggest issue I had at work has officially been eliminated 😀 Hooray!  Also good things come in cute packages…  So had Michael not did what he did then I wouldn\’t be enjoying that…  So not only did I get a bitching tattoo, I just might get something awesome outta the deal.  I\’m down with that! 😉  Thanks!

by

Things fall into my lap

like this and make me think…

Bring Me The Horizon
Suicide Season

We stare at broken clocks, the hands don\’t turn anymore
The days turn into nights, empty hearts and empty places
The day you lost him, I slowly lost you too
For when he died, he took a part of you

No time for farewells, no chances for goodbyes
No explanations, no fucking reasons why
I watched it eat you up, pieces fallen on the floor
We stare at broken clocks, the hands don\’t turn anymore

If only sorrow could build a staircase, or tears could show the way
I would climb my way to Heaven, and bring him back home again
Don\’t give up hope my friend, this is not the end

We stare at broken clocks, the hands don\’t turn anymore
The days turn into nights, empty hearts and empty places
The day you lost him, I slowly lost you too
For when he died, he took a part of you

Death is only a chapter
So let\’s rip out the pages of yesterday
Death is only a horizon
And I\’m ready for my sun…
I\’m ready for my sun to…
I\’m ready for my sun…
I\’m ready for my sun to set

This is suicide season!

If only sorrow could build a staircase, or tears could show the way
We would climb our way to Heaven, and bring him home again
If only sorrow could build a staircase, or tears could show the way
We would climb our way to Heaven, and bring him home again

If only sorrow could build a staircase, or tears could show the way
We would climb our way to Heaven, and bring him home again
We would do anything to bring him back to you
We would do anything to end what you\’re going through

If only sorrow could build a staircase, or tears could show the way
I would climb my way to Heaven, and bring him home again
I would do anything to bring him back to you
Because if you got him back, I would get back the friend that I once knew

That either someone is trying to tell me something, or the part in italics would be a killer tattoo!!!  Either way closure is a beautiful thing just like the tattoo I just got.  Speaking of tattoos, my chest still hurts but it looks amazing.  I just hope that the people responsible for my inspiration realize just how truly grateful I am for them. 😉 Because I am <3

by

My own personal reminder

They say that imitation is the most sincerest form of flattery, which is a phrase that tends to come to mind when I get a memorial tattoo.  For me tattoos are like therapy, its something beautiful to look at in spite of the pain you may experience and something that you can cherish all the days when your loved one is gone.  In some cases it can also bring some much needed closure when you can\’t find it anywhere else.

On September 3rd 2009 I got some of the most tragic news I had ever experienced in my entire life.  Jason Cartwright who was my dear friend, confidant and business partner had passed away in the wee hours of the morning.  The shock and the pain of getting that news was the metaphorical equivalent to that of being hit by a mac truck.  I screamed, I yelled and I cried what felt like a river of tears.  I haven\’t been the same since that day, nor do I ever expect to be again.  Oddly enough it was a love of modifications that brought Jason and I together.  Jason mentioned on a few occasions that he wanted to get another tattoo and commented that he would love if I designed one for him.  I\’m pretty sure that what I have, wasn\’t what he himself had in mind.  I can certainly say that its not what I had in mind in the first place, as I would very much prefer to have designed a tattoo for him to wear as opposed to myself.

I still have a ton of questions that I know will never have any answers.  I never did blame myself for what he did, I did however become so consumed with quilt over his death that I was afraid it was going to swallow me whole.  Had he died as the result of some horrible disease, or an accident of some kind then maybe I could have at least come to terms with what happened.  Jason\’s suicide wasn\’t a total surprise but I felt as if I could have done more.  I was so wrapped up in my own life that I didn\’t pay nearly enough attention to what was going on around me.  I had this nagging voice in my head to e-mail him, to reach out and let him know that I was OK and more importantly to remind him that even though things weren\’t that great that they would be OK sooner or later.  I kept saying to myself, tomorrow I\’ll e-mail him just to let him know that I was there.  Reminds me of the Charles Hanson Towne poem: Around the corner Plenty of tomorrows came and went and I never did send that e-mail like I had intended.  Would it have made a difference? Maybe, perhaps just for a little while longer.  I\’ll never truly know.  The what ifs, the maybes, the could have, should have but didn\’t ran through my mind for months.  I knew I wanted to get a tattoo to represent him and how much he meant to me but it was really a matter of what.

See to me, memorial tattoos should signify the person.  A permanent representation of what they meant to you.  Problem with that was I knew Jason on a very personal, almost intimate level but in some ways I never really \”knew him\”, what he liked and things of that nature aside from programming.  So needless to say I was totally stuck on that one.  I had already decided on the script previously, which oddly enough I seen on the back of someone\’s shirt in the metro one day.   That however was back in the summer and I had originally wanted to add that to the memorial pieces I already had on my chest.

Continue reading →