Category Archives: Family

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An open letter to my big sister Sandra

Today I can honestly and truly say that I have never been more proud of you than I am right at this moment.  Today you graduated from your rec & leisure program at Conestoga college.

I remember when mom told me that you were planning on taking the plunge and going to college.  No easy feat for most people, let alone a single mom with two kids.

Through the years I\’ve seen you face numerous obstacles, more than I think the average person would, let alone should endure in a single lifetime.  I\’ve seen you beyond frustrated because of the challenges that life has thrown at you.

I\’ve seen your victorious glory on the rare occasions that you caught a break.  I have seen the pride in your eyes when you held both of your children in your arms.  I\’ve chased down douche bag boyfriends down the street with sharp objects because they had the audacity to talk shit about you and the fact that you have epilepsy.  I\’ve seen you fight to have acceptance and work your ass off to get an education so that you can get ahead in life.

I\’ve always admired you and respected you.  More than I think you are aware…

I hope that today, you can look back on this and think back to all the hard work you\’ve endured and know that it’s worth it.  Life is hard, I\’ve worked in one of the most sexist industries for the past 21 years and through it all, so many people told me to give it up because I would never make it.

Yet, I did.

So can you.

Don’t ever let the bastards get you down big sister and don’t ever let someone tell you that can’t.  If they do, there’s only one thing that you should do:

Prove the fuckers wrong in every damn way that you can.  YOU did this, own this shit in every way that you can.  No one can ever take this away from you.

I regret not being home to share in your glory with you.  Just know that everyone knew just how proud I was of you today, even though today is *my* birthday.  I\’ll let it go this time 😉

Love Me.

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An open letter to (some) of my family members.

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I rarely talk about my family on here as a matter of principal.  However I think that this is one of those things that I should be calling a few people out on.  I won\’t name names and I can almost guarantee that this is going to piss someone off (don\’t care) because it\’s the truth and if it pisses you off, well then chances are you are somehow responsible for that.  A guilty conscious comes in many sizes and you can bet your ass I have yours.

I know not everyone cares for my dad for whatever reason, that\’s fine.  However he\’s still my father and *I*, not to mention my mom and my sister are still a part of this family like it or not.

When someone in the family has died or is dying, your behavior is fucking appalling.  Sometimes even short of embarrassing.

Yeah I said it.  You know it was one thing to come home years ago under the impression that my nanna was still in the hospital and I went (on my last night in Ontario none the less) to go see her; only to find that she had been discharged.  Because no one bothered to call my dad and tell him his mother was out of the hospital.  Which is selfish.

Clearly you didn\’t have in your heart to bother calling for whatever ridiculous and most likely petty reason you had.  Never mind how you feel about my father, you never thought to think of anyone else now did you?

No.  No you did not.

As a direct result of such selfishness, I never got to see her again before she passed away.  All because you were too petty, stuck up or whatever the fuck to bother.

Thanks.

By that I mean, go fuck yourself. 

Oh but that\’s not the worst of it…

She DID NOT WANT a funeral, I was told but numerous family members not to bother making the trip in from Montreal to Ontario to say good-bye.  Only to find out later that there was one, last minute and hastily planned.  So I of course did not attend, not because I didn\’t want to, but because I was told not to bother.

Thanks.

My great Uncle dies.  I find out about it on Facebook  which is rather humorous in a sad way since one of my Aunts said that was tacky previously and yet she was the one who posted about Uncle Jim passing.  Again, didn\’t bother to call anyone at my house but puts it on Facebook.

I could go on and on and on but I won\’t bother.  I\’ve been keeping this to myself for a really, really long time.  Not anyone because hey and eye for an eye and all that right?

Sorry mom, I know you said that two wrongs don\’t make a right and all that but I am also a firm believer in karma and well i\’m just giving it a helping hand.

I\’m also a firm believer in being honest above everything else.

I get why one of my cousins posted that his mom was in the ICU, utilizing Facebook is a great way to reach a mass audience at once especially when it comes to family.  No one has died (yet) but they\’re ill so it makes sense.  Of course no one bothered to call my dad, except for me.  It is his sister after all.

My aunt passed away at 12:15 this morning.  We aren\’t close anymore, however she\’s still my aunt.  She\’s a sister to my aunts and my father and a mother to my cousins and a wife to my uncle.  She\’s a person.  You know how my dad found out?  My mom seen it on Facebook and called my dad to tell him…

My sister drives me nuts but life wouldn\’t be the same without her.  My mom is the most amazing person and I love her dearly and I know that the day will come when it\’s time to say good-bye.

However, when it does; i\’ll do the right thing and call.

 

 \"think

 

 

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I want to be a pyro tech

Seriously, how awesome would that be? Playing with fireworks and getting paid for it! Take a moment and consider the bad ass factor.

In other news, one of these days I\’ll learn that sleeping with my hair down is a bad idea:

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This picture fails to capture what a ridiculous mess my hair is.  It looks like I\’ve had ridiculously awesome sex all night and had that been the case, it would have been worth the effort it\’s going to take to un-tangle this disaster. But no. That\’s a direct result of my tossing and turning all night in spite of getting high off my ass.  You\’d think i\’d sleep better, but no.

In other news, it was Jason\’s birthday yesterday. He would have been 32. He hated holidays in general and didn\’t like anyone making a big deal out of his birthday. My whole argument (when he was alive) was that had it not been for his birthday, we never would have met.  His birthday didn\’t suck as much as it usually does, I guess time really does heal everything.  In any case, I smoked a joint in his honor. I\’m sure he\’d appreciate that.  Which is exactly what  i\’m going to do when I get his ashes in the mail.

Yep, you just read that right.  The original plan was to have Jason\’s mom arrive with Jason\’s urn (or whatever he\’s currently stashed in), come to Canada and we were going to scatter his ashes along the peninsula in St. Anne\’s. Although knowing our luck it would have have been really windy that day and there would have been a ton of people out on their boats; which might have ended up in a disaster.  Especially if people were out sunbathing and covered in oil. Yeah it\’s morbid, but also kind of funny. Really. Think about it.

Funny unless you\’re the one who gets smothered by someone\’s ashes of course.    

I have a good relationship with Jason\’s mom. One that I\’m thankful for. So I thought that when the time came for her to scatter Jason\’s ashes, knowing full well that neither of us could come up with the $1500.00 for airfare; I\’d ask her to send some to me so I could do it on our behalf.  I didn\’t mention it, I wanted to wait until she was good and ready to part with his cremains before I said anything. A few weeks ago she mentioned that she was going to do it soon. I was hesitant to ask since it\’s a strange and rather personal request to ask of someone and possibly strange to some. Turns out that she wanted to ask me if I wanted some but didn\’t want me to be creeped out by it.  I\’m happy I asked and thrilled that she agreed that it was a nice idea.  Apparently she scattered his ashes yesterday at one of his favorite places, being his birthday and all. She promised to save me some so I could say good bye and hopefully get some closure once and for all.

I am however having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that my close friends ashes will eventually show up in my mailbox in a Ziploc bag.