Wow, that\’s really all I have to say for the moment…  What a strange week its been around here!  Where in God\’s name do I start?  There\’s lots that\’s totally worth mentioning so be prepared for one long ass post.  I suggest you grab some popcorn and get comfortable lol.

So lets backtrack just a little bit here…  A couple of weeks ago I sent a text message to someone at random and got a reply back saying \”I thought you weren\’t talking to me anymore\” all because of something I had posted via my twitter newsfeed .  Which was (I\’m assuming) something to do with my \”date\” with Ian.  OK first of all, I answer to NO ONE; that should be established from the get go.   So to sum that up, if I\’m NOT your girlfriend then really I have no claims to you and you have zero claims to me.  Regardless of how much I may/may not like you, that\’s irrelevant if you drop in and out of my life like a damn yo-yo.  I don\’t care how busy you are, *if* I matter that much to someone, find the time.  It only takes a minute to at least make the effort even if its only a simple text message.

I get busy too, but I still put forth the effort, especially now.  You see I felt still feel guilty (a little less so now) when Jason died for not being there.  Mostly because I was a little too wrapped up in my own life to be there for my friend and now he\’s gone and I miss him dearly.  Maybe that e-mail wouldn\’t have made a difference and I\’m pretty sure it wouldn\’t have but at least I would have known that I had put forth the effort to let him know that I was there and that I still cared.  Now I can\’t do that anymore and its still very heartbreaking.  In any case, I\’m still \”free\” to do what with whomever I choose seeing as how I highly doubt at this point that anything will ever come out of the situation that I\’m referring to.

Even if I would prefer that it did (which I am not discussing)…  You never know.  Bottom line is this: I don\’t think its fair for someone to expect me to put my life on hold for them because they\’re too busy for me right now.  Yeah I get that work can be a time whore, but if you treat me this way now; how much of a difference would it make *IF* I was in fact that persons actual girlfriend?  That\’s crossed my mind on several occasions in spite of that strange hold they have over me…  You snooze you loose!  Should have made the time if you end up missing out, at this rate I DON\’T see that happening.   But still, if it does, they have no one to blame but themselves.   How is this relevant to what I\’m about to post?  You\’ll see in a minute, I\’m getting to that…

So in my quest for a new job, which was an epic pain in my ass I finally nailed one!  I was starting to get a little concerned about that whole situation since I\’d sent out countless (read 45) CV\’s and didn\’t get a call back and for the life of me couldn\’t figure out why not…  Then it dawned on me, all of my job titles were \”higher\” up positions as in executive Chef, sous Chef and so forth.  Whereas most people are hiring cooks.  Yes there is a distinct difference between the two.  Mostly skills, qualifications, education and experience.

So I \”dumbed down\” my job titles and then all of a sudden, I become miss popular and people started calling THANK GOD!  Anyway had a job interview on Tuesday, job trial for said place on Thursday and got hired YAY!  I don\’t think I start until Monday, waiting for that ever so elusive e-mail from the new boss to let me know!  No more getting up in the morning for me!  Although some of those shifts fall into the \”relationship killer\” category I\’ll deal.  That\’s the life of this industry and few understand it unless you\’ve been a part of it before.

So Friday was my last day at Gryphon and its ending was bittersweet to say the least.  I met lots of great people & made some fabulous friends along the way while I was there.  But alas my employment there was not meant to be for a number of reasons, none of which I am going to disclose, since most people that I physically talk to already know.  In any case I had a long talk with my former boss and left on a positive note. Which was nice, its not that either she or myself are bad people.  I learned a lot and there were times when she really helped me out and I never forgot those times.  So in spite of how I left, I still went out and bought her flowers just to say thank you.

In the end, Jason\’s death affected me in a number of ways that I didn\’t even take into consideration.  So needless to say, things are going to change.  Hopefully for the better, perhaps not but I\’ll never know if I don\’t try.  Its been almost 2 months now since he\’s been gone and it still hurts but not nearly as bad as it once did which is something I\’m eternally grateful for.  I\’m pretty sure I\’ll always be emotionally retarded over the whole thing seeing as how his death was just so damn senseless!  But in any case, his death really made me re-evaluate a lot of things and put them into perspective for me.

So the other day I was getting waxed & I jokingly mentioned that I had a hot date on Friday ( I actually had a party to go to).  She says oh your single? Then we got to talking about random things associated with dating and what not.  I didn\’t think much of it until someone passed a message onto me that so & so wanted to speak with me and could I please come in when I had a free minute.  I looked a little perplexed because its not as if my cosmetician and I have any type of \”relationship\” outside of pedicures and getting waxing done.  So I went in there, and joking said what are my eyebrows going to fall off?  She pulls me into the back room, says she has a favor to ask.  Long story short, a member of their family needs residency and wants ME to marry him so that he can stay here.  On paper only of course but its not that simple.  Granted I knew little about the immigration process until Carly moved to VW to be with her beloved.   In any case I know enough now to know that unless I actually want to be with someone that bad, its really far from worth the risk/responsibility/headaches that are associated with such matters.  Needless to say, that was really random & totally odd!

So let\’s talk about this whole dating thing now shall we…  I went out last night and later on someone came over.  Doesn\’t totally qualify as a \”date\” per say, we just hung out and watched a movie.  No in case any of you are wondering, I didn\’t get any…  As much as I would LOVE to divulge the details of one rather amusing (to me at least, hugely embarrassing for him) incident I won\’t because well, its just mean to do so.  However if you really want to know, feel free to ask and I will spill (no pun intended)! So I thought I should compile a list of things that have happened/been said throughout the years that would likely fall into the \”dating don\’t category\” so read on kids, because this might save your ass and/or your date with someone.  Even more so if your going on a date with me 😉

1. Its very sweet of you to compliment my tattoos.  However telling me if I was your girlfriend that you would love to spunk all over them isn\’t exactly cool.  I really, hate being jizzed on!  I don\’t like anything sticky for that matter.
2. Have some sense of self control.  Apparently I\’m pretty exciting to be around, but please try to contain yourself.
3. If you think there\’s a possibility that you might get laid & might not be able to withstand yourself for more then 5 seconds…  Jerk off at home, not in my bathroom!  Yes WE do notice these things, especially when you miss.  Thanks…
4. Asking your date if you have condoms and when the reply is yes (most of us are responsible and prepared for just about anything, after all were woman) throwing your fist up in the air and screaming YES!!!!!!!!!!! Is NOT acceptable… EVER
5. Yelling oh no stop, oh shit that was bad isn\’t cool either.  Especially when we\’re right in the middle of something.  Makes us wonder what on earth your problem is/what were doing wrong!
6. Have a clue about how things work please!
7. Virginity, chances are were not going to care if your a virgin (well I at least don\’t but seeing as how I\’m 31 chances are you\’ll be in my age range and I will start to wonder) because its good to know!  Not only would we be the ones taking your \”V\” card, we wouldn\’t make fun of you for lack of experience either.  Because we will, that\’s just how it works.
8. Don\’t ask us to call/text you and then proceed to blow us off when we do, ignoring us won\’t work!
9. Relationships are like shopping for say a house or a car, we\’re going to shop around for the best option in this case and that may not be you.  However its always best to establish exactly what your after BEFORE we allow you into our/your bed, let alone anywhere else for that matter.   That goes both ways of course.
10. Pointing out that you have a raging hard-on and have every intention of jerking off when you get home.  That\’s on a need to know basis and guess, what?  I DON\’T need to know thanks!

I could go one, but suffice to say I\’m sure I\’ll find something to add to this list later on.