Category Archives: we have fun

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Random funny for the day…

Things to do in an elevator when your bored:

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” – and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8 ) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”
14) WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don’t exist.
22) CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it.

Next time I’m in an elevator, I just might give this a go.  Heh.

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<3

I love my job, LOVE it!  You know when you start working somewhere and it’s all pretty awesome from the start and then it slowly declines?  As you can plainly see from some of my previous blog posts, my career has had some serious WTF are you kidding me, someone please hand me a knife so I can stab myself in the eye moments!

Except life at the daycare, a place that I had never ever set foot in, let alone ventured in career wise until March of this year.  I got really, really lucky with this place for a number of reasons.  OK no I’m not rolling in the money and I am well aware that I could make plenty more somewhere else.  However getting up in the morning and not wanting to gouge your eye out with a plastic spoon is beyond priceless.

When I was younger I wanted children, then I got older and changed my mind.  It wasn’t so much that I despised the little’s per say, although some of them are so epically bratty that I wish I carried around duct tape with me so that I could just stick them a wall or a moving bus.  Best. Birth. Control. Ever.  I just found that I had no patience for them.  Even my niece and nephew whom I love more then life itself had on occasion tested my limits and killed all those baby wanting urges I had.  Those little’s are a lot of freaking work.  This became even more obvious to me when I started taking care of 80 of them.

Yes eighty.  80 little’s under the age of 5.

I love every single one of them!  I kind of feel like Michelle on 10, 15, what is she on 30 kids and counting now?  Mind you, I didn’t give birth to any single one of them.

Thank God…

Everyday I go into work I feel like a rock star.  I swear it’s because I feed them 3 times a day that I’m so popular.  That’s OK though because there’s nothing better then coming into work every single day and hearing 65 of them chanting your name (the littlest little’s in the nursery can’t fully talk yet) and getting tons and tons of sticky hugs and kisses, not to mention an insurmountable amount of love from each child that I encounter each and every single day.  Work lifts my spirits when i’m having a really shitty day.

Especially when I’m really missing him, like I am now.

There really is nothing better then getting a hug 600x’s a day from the one’s you just can’t help but love.  OK I’ll admit some I love more then others, like my little Elliot.  OMGWTFBBQ I am IN LOVE with this child!

This would be one of my many boyfriends!

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Pre-wedding hilarioty

OK so my lovely friend Jen has finally caved is finally getting married!  By finally, I mean if you ever met these two you would throw up in your mouth a little at how truly awesome they are together and after years of convincing, nagging and pleading (that was mostly me) with Jen, she finally decided that life was too damn short (because it is) and finally said YES!  I am certain that I wasn’t the only one who said its about damn time!

Here’s le happy couple:

Yeah Clint never smiles, seriously never.  I have however seen the guy laugh so its not all lost right?  Anyway Jen has some major health issues and while planning this wedding, any thoughts of a wedding shower/bacholorette party somewhat got flung to the wayside because we were all far too busy being worried sick about her and stuff.

So in the end we decided we were taking her out for dinner, then as her cousin Corina said dessert.

It WAS a great day, although I didn't go shopping for cake supplies... Oops, was a little distracted 🙂

Clint’s comment was my favorite 😉

Dinner was FUN, our server must have thought we were on crack or something because strange things happen when you put 11 woman together in one place.  99% of them not being prudish…  No impromptu bacholorette party is complete without a blinking penis pacifier and these which ours were clear and may I add, not the best thing to be drinking daiquiris out of either…  I didn’t realize our server was behind me as I was jamming my fork into the tip of this thing and when Corina asked me what the hell I was doing, I promptly replied:” The hole is too damn small and no matter how hard I suck on the damn thing, nothing’s coming out of it.” Then Alex said to me, well that could be taken out of context in a number of ways.  He was fun, our neighboring tables, not so much…

Of course pictures to capture moments of sheer debauchery at best 🙂

Jen all decked out in her party attire!

Lisa, Corina J & Corina H

This really is what it looks like!

Jen rocks my socks! <3

Her penis was a little dysfunctional

Jen's nibbling on my neck, no really she was. Have to get one last fling in before the big day!

Can't take her anywhere!

One just ain't enough!

Jen & Lisa with Jen's whip.

Chantal had no appreciation for Jen's cock in her ear 😉

After dinner wrapped up, we headed off to club 281 for dessert as Corina stated or more so I’m thinking a killer headache and a slight waste of money.  Although it did have its moments I must say.  Since its May and spring and summer weddings are hugely popular there was several bacholorette parties in the works that evening.  Upon our arrival Jen’s look of horror as to where we were taking her was priceless!  Then things didn’t get much better when some random dude tried to get in with us.  WTF?  Men are allowed in, pending they have a woman to accompany them.

This guy obviously didn’t have one and tried to hone in on our party.  I told security at the front that he wasn’t with us and glared at the French tard that tried to con a way in.  Needless to say, he got kicked out before he even got in the door.  Having never set foot in the place prior to last night, I didn’t know what the whole deal was.  Coat check girl (Marie-Piere)  was a total, epic bitch.  Yeah obviously your pissy about the gaggle of screaming 20-somethings in their stilettos and tiara’s but no need to be such a twat because you can’t ogle over naked men.  Cos honey let me tell you, you ain’t missing much.    We got there somewhat late so the place was already packed and our seating arrangement was less then ideal to say the least.  Here’s a picture jacked from 281’s facebook page just to illustrate how sucky it truly was:

Craptacular seating arrangement illustration part one

Part deux, no love for that curtain or the spotlights!

We were in the upper level off to the far side, couldn’t really see much from that point of view.  Not to mention all the stupid bitches that kept standing in our way.  To add insult to injury, we were directly positioned in front of the spotlights that were pretty much blinding 90% of the time and in order to keep your seat your required to buy at least one beverage, alcoholic or not.  WTF, their prices BLEW my freaking mind!  I know bars aren’t cheap but 6 bucks for a 250ml bottle of fancy water?  Yeah I know…  Here’s their price list if you think I’m exaggerating a little.

Speaking of which, our server was MIA and trying to track him down to pay our bill was a chore in and of itself!  We could have totally pulled a drink n dash but were honest people and paid up.  Hardly worth it, seeing as how it cost so damn much.  Anyhow all was not totally lost…  Seeing as how it was a bacholorette party and all, well a lap/table dance is pretty much mandatory right?  The look on Jen’s face was EPIC to say the least!  Too bad camera’s weren’t allowed because that was a Kodak moment and then some.  So here’s the guy that Corina being the good cousin she is picked out for Jen:

In case you haven’t had enough, here’s another one 😉

Jen was dumbfounded and speechless for the most part.  Although she did comment on how nice his tattoo was, and when it got to the point that he pretty much looked like this:

her facial expression wasn’t nearly as joyful as the woman in the picture!  She looked so totally grossed out I thought she was going to vomit and to top it off, when he started flashing his ass in her face and smacked it hard enough to make quite the amount of noise she jumped half a foot out of her chair!  Jen’s mom had her face buried in my arm, Corina and I were debating if we could get away with the whole “no touching the dancers rule” is we just smacked his ass with the whip and everyone else seemed to look away.  I mean really, way to suck the fun out of that ladies!

So to their credit, they do make an effort to put on a decent show, which is considerably better then Huggies, which might be closed now for all I know.  I’m not into the whole strip club scene, having only visited one previously in my hometown I thought I would at least make an effort to keep an open mind.  I guess full on nudity is an option because I along with my guests seen a whole lot of pretty boys running around topless and flashing their butt cheeks but only 2-possibly three of them actually bared it all.  I might go again, I think my mom would get a kick out of it.  I am however going to go on a Thursday when the admission is lower, and earlier so I don’t get a migraine and a sore neck from trying to get my money’s worth 😉  Besides I’d rather see him naked, its a whole lot more appealing, well to me at least!

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Disjointed fragments

memory is a funny thing.  My heightened level of exhaustion is truly screwing with my mind more often then not it would seem.  There’s things I want to remember because they’re just beyond hilarious and I seem to forget them and then come back to them.  Sometimes I wish I could videotape my life so I can look back on it and laugh.  Laughter is a wonderful thing.  Memories fade and its usually the good ones I find.  As I was having my most enchanted evening with him, something he said triggered a long forgotten moment in what I refer to as my old life.  It was a surreal trip down memory lane & I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that.  He felt bad (no need to), as my beautiful friend Carly referenced:“you are only as sick as your secrets“.

Fuck. I. have. a. lot. of. secrets.

Some of which I share (rendering them a secret no more), some I keep to myself.  As much as I didn’t don’t want him to feel bad, it totally dawned on me that there was something semi huge that I shared on here and not with him.  I meant to & somehow I totally forgot & for that, I’m sorry.  I guess now that the moment is over (thankfully)/crisis averted there was no need to bring it up.  However had things not been so damn crazy for either of us (seriously I tried to wash my hands with toothpaste the other day, don’t ask) I’m quite certain I would have mentioned it.  Because he had the right to know and still does.  What a kick to the balls to read it on here and not hear it from me.  Yeah that’s pretty damn low.  Pending of course he reads my blog at all.  Anyway, back to that whole memory thing.  It was strange because it took me back to a place that I hadn’t visited in so long.  It didn’t bother me, it just made me feel unsettled for a while I guess.  I did put a positive spin on it because there is one.  Although I will always wonder what I would have been like had that not happened.

I’m obviously not destined to know.  We all have our scars & that part of my life is my cross to bear and I feel for the most part I bear it pretty well.  I lived it, learned from it and became whom I am today because of it.  I like me most of the time.  I don’t like talking about it because of the emotions it evokes in other people.  I personally have moved on, I can’t & won’t forget what happened but it made me stronger in the end.  Which in a way I am thankful for.  I don’t however want to hurt him with that story.  Disjointed fragments come out now & then; he’s not stupid (he’s actually too smart for his own damn good) I like love that about him.  However I know first hand how hearing about that hurts some people and evokes the general reactions of anger/sympathy/pity and a slew of others that I would rather not do.  Like he said “we all have issues” which we most certainly do.  However I personally think its all in how you deal with them in the end.  Do you learn from them, embrace them as a period of growth or do you react like some people I know and surround yourself with it like a shroud and use it as a shield?  Or more accurately [use it] as an excuse for how messed up you think your life is?  There’s something to be said about letting go and for the most part I have.  It changed me on a number of levels, some of which I don’t particularly care for personally.  I have however made my proverbial bed and while I did lie in it for a while, I have since exchanged it for a new & improved model.  Mostly.

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