Category Archives: we have fun

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Lovely changes

So I think, stress the term think that maybe I\’ll have a plan for this whole school thing.  Hopefully one that is not only affordable, but realistic enough to not compromise my already insane schedule already.  Because as much as I love doing that Chef thing I do, its high time I got out before I tear out every single strand of hair on my head or go totally postal.  I could see either of those happening.  In any case I have hit up every single college and university that offers distance learning because the thought of parking my derriere in an actual classroom seriously lacks appeal to me!  All in due course, I have a long list of things that I want to acomplish first so all in due time.

However there\’s been several other things that have crossed my mind that I can do in the immediate/near future so you know what?  I\’m going to do them, quite simply be cause I can therefore I will 🙂  The way I see it, why repress one self when you can express yourself.  I\’m amazed at how much my way of thinking has changed and evolved since I moved here.  Or perhaps its because I\’m older and all those \”young adult\” hang ups I had are now gone?  Meh who knows and quite frankly I don\’t think anyone actually cares.  I\’m also looking forward to some much needed social interaction with some good people!  Its sad that my friends and I have so very different lifestyles and schedules that more often then not cause some serious conflict when it comes to that sort of thing.  I\’m meeting Jen for lunch tomorrow and I can\’t wait!  I LOVE spending time with her!

I have a short shift so taking advantage of that in every way I can!  Work has actually been dare I say, pretty awesome the past few days!  After the staff meeting we had, it seems like for the most part were on the same page and have a common goal which is awesome.  Not only that I happen to work with some really great people who make me laugh non stop.  So that\’s a win situation right there!  I\’m also looking forward to the saintwoods four year anniversary party.   Its going to be awesome to go out, get utterly wasted and just have on hell of a good time!  Finally something that isn\’t on a weekend IE Friday/Saturday that I can actually attend, fabulous!

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The 2009 review

Well the year is almost over…  There\’s lots I could say to sum it up but to coin a phrase from Catlin \”2009 for me was the absolute highest highs and the lowest lows. I experienced pure, unadulterated joy and rock bottom, brutal sadness. I felt about as angry as I ever have.\” Hope she doesn\’t mind, but in all honestly I really couldn\’t have said it better myself!  Brilliantly put Catlin, that\’s all I have to say 🙂  Reading other people\’s blogs has its advantages since it was Catlin that pointed out that Gillian answers a serious of questions every year after skimming through them I thought well you know, why not?  So thank you Gillian for making this blog entry a little easier!

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Lots of things!  Went to places I\’ve never been before and more importantly became a little more true to myself.  Oh and I went boxing day shopping with my mom & sister and didn\’t buy a  single hoodie!  (I have a hoodie addiction)  Seriously…  You reading this Micheal lol.  I actually bought girly attire…  I gotta say though I do love that angora sweater 😉

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I haven\’t bothered with them in years.  I do however hope that 2010 is a whole lot better then 2009 was!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

not particularly close per say, but a few people I know are proud parents.  However  my best friend of 20+ years is pregnant 🙂

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes

5. What countries did you visit?

How about provinces? I went to Ontario as per the usual in the summer and just got back from Christmas there too.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

peace of mind!

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

September 3rd one of my best friends died and that day changed my life.  RIP Jason, I love you!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Wow that\’s a tough one.  Can\’t really say I actually have one which is kind of sad in a way but this year was full of so. much. fail.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not being there for someone when they needed me the most.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Well aside from the Advil overdose because of that epic tooth pain I had, the infection that followed which SUCKED not really.  Injury\’s well I hurt myself at work quite a bit but its rather minor in comparison.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A new computer (thanks mom <3)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My sister

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Jason…

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills, the dentist, visa

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

My tattoos! lol

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

Can\’t say I have one particular song in mind.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Although I can\’t totally recall how I felt this time last year I know due to circumstances that I am most certainly sadder, thinner and hands down a whole lot more poor too lol.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Been there more for my friends/family.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

procrastinated, stressed out, getting angry and less crying!  Did far too much of that this year!

20. How did you spend Christmas?

I was in Ontario with my immediate family and it was awesome!  I had a really good Christmas this year in the end.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

nope.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Family guy!  Although I haven\’t watched a lot of TV this year and I\’m canceling the cable soon because of it.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No.

24. What was the best book you read?

I read so many good ones this year!

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Haven\’t made any of those…

26. What did you want and get?

Tickets to Metallica!  A new computer,  a cat with thumbs, some beautiful tattoo work of course/

27. What did you want and not get?

Jason to be alive.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Didn\’t see enough movies to even garner a proper response for that one.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 31…  Had a small soiree with my friends at my apartment and it was fabulous!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

not being in debt and being back in school already!

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

ha ha this year was a bit of a transformation of sorts.  I\’ve always been a jeans/t-shirt/hoodie girl.  I still am but I have gotten more \”girly\” attire and started wearing heels!  That\’s a little crazy in itself!

32. What kept you sane?

My friends, I honestly don\’t know what I would have done without them this year!  I am so very fortunate to have such amazing people in my life!

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

That\’s not my style, I could care less about that sort of thing.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

H1N1 Jesus Christ!  All the hype and bullshit holy fuck!

35. Who did you miss?

Jason, my mom

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Define met, I can say who the best new person I\’ve talked to but have yet to meet is.  They already know that though and if they don\’t well they should!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

Life is short, too short!

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day\’s a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What\’s worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts \’cause there\’s no second try
So live like you\’re never living twice
Don\’t take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day-Nickleback

So in closing, this year sucked in SO many ways…  Tons and tons of soul sucking drama, far too many tears and heartbreak and things that just speak of pure evil.  Although there were a few rare moments of happiness that made them all that much more precious.  In the end its the little things that matter and that was a lesson that I sadly learned the hard way.
So 2009 wasn\’t a total loss, just a very difficult year.  In the end, I have learned that inspiration can come from the strangest things but leads to something beautiful.  I\’m not going to rattle of names, but I can only hope that those who were there for me either directly or indirectly when I needed them the most, who gave me some very much needed closure in inadvertently assisting me with my memorial tattoo for Jason and those who just made this year suck a little less, your awesome and I am so totally grateful that you were there even if it was only for a brief period of time <3
Here\’s to hoping that 2010 is full of much better things for us all 😉
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updates & upheavals…

Good bye social life, enter into workaholic mode instead.  After I left Gryphon I had some serious time to kill since I left there on a Friday and didn\’t start my new job until the following Wed.  Major shift upheaval at its best.  I went from working my nice M-F 9-5 job to working Thursday-Saturday 6pm-4pm and Sunday\’s 5pm-1am. Which is somewhat OK for the most part since I prefer to have a consistent schedule but not having any time off of on the weekend DOES suck just a little.  Oddly enough getting myself to stay up until at least 4am and not rolling out of bed til around 1pm, wasn\’t that difficult.  Granted its going to suck when I have to be awake and alert for a dental appointment at 8am on Thursday.  I\’m going to try & go to sleep a little earlier then the norm, get my dental work done and then go home and take a nap before work so I don\’t screw myself up too badly sleep wise.

I also seem to have developed a new compulsion: working out.  I\’ve never really been \”anti-exercise\” per say but it was never that high on my priority list either.  Now I work out every day, even if its only a quick 20 minute routine I still do it.  It has very little to do with my overall appearance with the exception of my biceps.  Mostly because I have bitching tattoo work and loss of definition has made me slightly anal about it.  I figure if I ain\’t getting none, might as well blow off my frustration somehow right?  I save the heavier routines for my days off simply because once the adrenaline rush wears off, I tend to crash pretty hard right in the middle of my shift.  Not cool if its busy, which fluctuates quite a bit depending on the day.  Which is exactly what happened on Sunday.  I woke up @ 1:15 and had to be at work for 5pm which was the COC ass-rape-a-thon  starring none other then yours truly.  Having a full board usually isn\’t a big deal for me alone but when the orders are all over the damn place that\’s a whole other story.  The menu is limited, but so is space, equipment and tools required to make things happen like pans…  Which makes what would seem the simplest of tasks that much more tiresome.  Who would have thought that making mac & cheese & grilled cheese would piss me off so much.  Well it does, sounds simple which for the most part it is but there\’s just SO much running around to make it happen.  That and our fridge has no shelves which just makes things that much more complicated.

Overall I like my job, less responsibility and bullshit then the last one.  FAR more respect since the boys who are running the place aren\’t exactly qualified quite like I am so when I talk, they listen (woo hoo!) even the exec Chef is fresh out of culinary school (class of \’08).  But the demographic is a lot different.  I thought hoped that I would get away from whiny FOH staff but oh no, such was not the case!  So I got into it on Sunday with the girl answering the phones she\’s like I need blah blah blah, to which I fired back I need 5mil and a pool boy but doesn\’t mean I\’m going to get it right away now am I.  Put her in her place pretty fucking quick.  Yeah I get it, I\’m the new girl I expect *some* flack and/or criticism/corrections however BOH reins supreme over FOH and I ain\’t going to take shit from a kid who isn\’t anywhere near as qualified as I am.  Overall aside from almost cutting a piece of my index finger off, burning my right butt cheek on a sandwich press and my stomach on the fryer, I kinda like my job.  Wonder what D is going to say when I tell him I essentially need all my working days off for Christmas this year.  Ticket is bought, tattoo appointment booked.  There ain\’t NO WAY, I\’m NOT going home…  Especially if I get screwed with all the crappy shifts that no one wants…  He\’s going to OWE me come the end of December.

So that\’s about it, I\’ve done nothing but work and exercise and I know that a thrill a minute for you all.  Oh and well Heddy has become an anorexic/bulimic since the arrival of Xavier, whom she hates quite a bit still.  So she\’s super stressed out and refuses to eat & only occasionally drinks.  I\’m screwed if she ends up with renal failure so I\’ve had to force feed my poor baby with water and baby food.  I have to be careful because if I give her too much at one time, she just throws it back up again.  Yeah like you needed to know that…

In other news, Monday was a stunningly beautiful day here and there\’s an abandoned building at the end of my street that I\’ve been dying to investigate.  This odd fascination I have, I know.  I was prepared to walk down and around to the highway underpass (which I\’ve done countless times to get up on the roof & watch the sunrise) since I didn\’t feel like hopping the fence but to my surprise, the gate was wide open so I just walked right in SCORE!  It was late in the afternoon though and fairly muddy so I didn\’t really venture too far into it since it was getting dark and I didn\’t have on proper shoes.  I do however plan on going back tomorrow since I have Wed off before it gets too late in the day and doing some better \”investigating\” if you will 🙂

Sucks that the flash on my camera is being pissy, I\’m thinking its time to buy a new one.  Otherwise I would have gotten far better images then I did.  I\’m buying a new computer first, that\’s my up-most priority since I need a better model for school and well I just want to replace my laptop that I miss so dearly.  Then I\’m buying a new camera, I already know which one I want, its just a matter of obtaining it.  Since I\’ll be working my ass off, this shouldn\’t be mission impossible  come the new year.  Got to pay off my visa bill first and I have school to think about as well.  But CC bill takes priority overall of course.  So Wed, I\’m going to take care of things around here and enjoy the day off that I have and then Thursday morning at 8am, I have to have a filling replaced.  Which I\’m oddly happy about because every time I floss my teeth it gets stuck because its starting to come up and its not hardcore painful yet, but letting it go is NOT an option.  Besides, silver fillings are gross in spite of the fact that amalgam fillings (the tooth colored ones) aren\’t as strong.

Had a lovely leisurely day with my friend Jen this afternoon.  She texted me on Monday saying \”hey girly, I miss you, how are you?\”  meanwhile I had un-read text\’s from two other people and I replied back to who I thought was Jen \” miss you too!  We need to get together soon, I should get my schedule today\”  So then Mat (my \”neighbor\”) texts me and he\’s like huh?  Turns out my phone likes to text random people a little too often!  Which only happens when I have un-read text messages waiting from others.    A mutual friend of ours was supposed to join us, but I have to admit I wasn\’t the least bit dissapointed when she bailed out.  She\’s nice enough of course, but I wanted Jen all to myself so we could talk, catch up and gossip 😉  So we had lunch, did some shopping which I shouldn\’t have done but you know…  We had a ton of fun just the two of us!  I\’m getting too girly, its kind of crazy!  I\’m slowly changing some aspects of my appearance or at the very least stepping out of my comfort zone.  Having more liquid assets comes in handy too, can\’t wait to my pay is more regulated!   In the meantime, I take comfort in knowing that I\’m helping to keep visa in business.

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Clearing something up…

OK first of all, I forgot to mention this a while ago so I\’m saying something about it now.  When you like someone (doesn\’t matter the gender) and  you are so socially in-adequate for a number of reasons that your not getting any…  Interrogating the person that you like by asking \”what went wrong in the last relationship(s) that you had?\” is NOT. OK. EVER.  First of all I at least happen to be smart enough to know that your just making a lame really bad attempt at trying not to be \”that guy\” as in the guy(s) I\’ve broken up with…  Everyone has a past, that\’s just the way it is.  So yes its bound to come up in conversation once in a while for whatever the reason.  Doesn\’t mean that we/they\’re not over it (because chances are we are) its just a part of our life.   That\’s just the way that it is…  However sometimes those subjects are touchy for whatever the reason and can on occasion induce fits of rage and are best left un-said.  Its one thing to be curious about the person your interested in but making them feel like they should be in an interrogation room is not.

So let\’s talk about my ex \”husband\” just to clear this up.  Not that I really feel that this is anyone\’s business per say, its not exactly a secret either.  The situation as a whole is a tad complicated and I get tired of explaining it, so from here on out if you don\’t read my blog, then I ain\’t telling you.  When I met him I still lived in Ontario and he lived here.  My past isn\’t all that \”pure and innocent\” as some people would like to believe (sorry but it is what it is and made me the person I am today).   Yes I did have one very UGLY abusive relationship among other ones that just didn\’t work out for whatever the reason.  Anyway we became fast friends & he had partially jokingly said you should move to Montreal and start over.  Little did he know I actually thought that was an amazing idea!  Cambridge has its charms but I was getting sick of the same old, same old and needed a change.  I figured it wouldn\’t have been so bad because I had a friend.

That was until we started dating, then it came down to who\’s going to live where.  He of course preferred that I moved to Mtl (who can blame him) and I wanted to get away anyway.  So in October of 2003 I came to visit him and fell in love with Montreal.  His parents were super religious (his father is a minister) and they don\’t believe in the whole sex/living together before marriage thing (this will be come relevant in a minute).  During said visit to Montreal that fall I seen the apartment that I would soon make my home and we got engaged.  So then we set the date, started making plans for my move and the wedding.  His parents posed a problem so we had to lie and say that I was staying with a friend in Lasalle (which at the time, I didn\’t even know where Lasalle was) until we got married.

I moved here on February 21st 2004 and even though I was living with him we had to maintain that ruse that  I was living with my imaginary friend and leaving all my furniture and what not with him at the apt. we had.  Got settled in, got a job and a car blah blah blah.  So in June that same year I had to go back to Ontario to tie up some loose ends and we told everyone that we \”eloped\” at city hall in Ontario.  Because we were originally planning on getting legally married in Ontario because then I could assume his last name (because I HATE mine) except we never did at that point because we couldn\’t afford it ($300.00 with the license/getting married at city hall) at that time so we figured we would a day before the actual wedding.   This way I could live with him freely (read without his parents hassling us, who didn\’t even live ON the island).

So my car needed a ton of repairs.  Caught on fire once, replaced the entire exhaust system, brakes, leaf spring blah blah blah.  Before we were due to leave to go to Ontario where we were getting married something got replaced on the car and the mechanic at Midas pointed out the ball joints on my front axle were due to go at any time and they needed to be replaced along with a few other minor things before it would be safe to make that long of a trip.  There went the $300.00 we had saved for the license and the actual \”wedding\” at city hall to make it legal.  Turns out we didn\’t have enough time anyway due to a million delays here in Montreal.

We asked his dad to preform the ceremony but he couldn\’t legally marry us in Ontario without someone from a religious order from Ontario in attendance which is why we were planning on going that route but his whole family thought we were already married (we even had the rings) and we were just \”going through the motions\” of the ceremony and having a reception.  So yes I had the dress, we had the rings and the whole nine yards, it was just never made legal.  The only \”legal\” marriage we had was strictly common law and nothing more.  So technically I was married, we just never bother making that happen on paper.  Sounds confusing?  I know, try telling/explain that a 100 times!  So in the end, we split up but I did consider him to be my husband in every sense of the word.  Why we broke up isn\’t relevant, it got ugly for a while be we have since sorted that out and even though were not best friends I no longer wish that he would get hit by a bus. We have both moved on with our lives and I\’ve been over it for a very long time.  The memories are bittersweet, just another chapter in my life story.

Since I\’ve been asked on numerous occasions for pictures since I don\’t have any posted (well duh were not together anymore)  here\’s a few to satisfy the curious:

In any case, it was one hell of a night!  Even though its said and done, people are still talking about it lol.