Category Archives: WTF!

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Birthcontrol, Visa, my mom,FAIL

I bet your wondering what all four of these have in common…  Oh but they do!  See I am sure that I mentioned that some punk ass douche-bag \”compromised\” my Visa so mine was canceled as a precautionary measure.  So because of that  I had to wait for the new card to be sent to my mom\’s house in ON and then wait for her to send it to me registered mail.  Shiny new visa comes in last Thursday and I finally got off my ass to go to the post office and pick up because I had to sign for it.  So that\’s fine, I open up the envelope only to discover that my card wasn\’t ready to use, had to either activate it online or via telephone due to the chip I have with the pin.  So I tried to do it online but because I\’m not the primary card holder I apparently needed some of my moms info.  Turns out I didn\’t (bastards) but you know c\’est la vie.  So I dropped it off at home and trekked over to Gryphon to see two of my favorite people.  Had lunch with two of my favorite customers, played catch up and ran off to work to pick up my pay.

So I go to work, grab my pay, briefly tormented Freeman for a while.  So I detach my cheque from my pay stub (we use a company now) sign it, fold it in 1/2, shove it into my back pocket and run off to the bank that is literally 2 blocks away!  So as soon as I get there, I discovered that my pay was GONE.  W.T.F?!?!?!  Seriously?  FAIL!  F.A.I.L!  So I hoped that maybe it fell out of my pocket at work somewhere and went back.  I of course re-traced my steps which was pointless because it was nice and windy today and who knows where on earth it ended up?  So back at C.O.C, I called my manager to get the number of our payroll company to put a stop payment on it.  It was around 4:45, guess who closes at 4:30?  THE FUCKING PAYROLL COMPANY!  I was thinking seriously?  Your joking right?  So I ran back to the bank just to have a note put on my account file with the cheque number stating that I had lost it and to not accept it should someone try to cash it in my name because I signed it at work.  Which sounds crazy to some people but sometimes its actually safer because then no one can attempt forgery.  I consigned myself with the fact that most banks close at 4pm, which today being the ONLY time I was actually thankful for that!  I\’m hoping that if someone actually found it, that in an attempt to cash it they use the bank machine…  Yeah I know sounds nuts but I\’m thinking I should have a stop payment in place before it actually gets removed from said machine and cleared by the bank, best scenario.  Worst scenario, someone actually was able to cash it  on my behalf and then the payroll company tells me how utterly fucked I am…  We\’ll see what happens.

So I thought, all is not totally lost because I have a Visa (thanks mom!) so at least I have access to some funds and won\’t be totally poor and can just slap my pay onto that when I actually get it.  Except that wasn\’t meant to happen either…  I do all my running around, then I head off to the pharmacy to pick up my birth control pills for the month and what do you know?  MY FUCKING VISA CARD DOESN\’T WORK!  I was about ready to loose it at this point, but it was almost 7pm IE: free mins kick in, so I call the handy 800 number on the back.  \”Oh I\’m sorry miss your not the primary card holder\” So I said yeah I know, its my mom.  \”Oh is your mom there (in a condescending talking to a child tone)\” I said yeah well, she\’s home but she also lives 650km away in Ontario and I\’m in Montreal.   \”Well I need to speak with her before I do anything to the account because I have security questions I have to ask her\” .  Fine, its a security thing, I get that.  However all I wanted was my damn baby prevention script!  You see, they keep me sane and baby free, oh yeah and I don\’t have breakouts either but that\’s a side effect I\’m willing to live with.  In spite of the fact that I have awesome skin like that (thanks mom!).  So I walk home, call my mom in ON, tell her what happened and asked her to call me back once she\’s off the phone with them praying that it doesn\’t take hours.

So mom calls me back and I apologized for horribly inconveniencing her like that because I knew she wasn\’t feeling well.  She said its no problem Steph, I\’m your mom that\’s what you do as a parent.  See this is why I don\’t have kids, they\’re a pain in the ass!  I do however love my mom and all that she does for me <3.  However my mom tends to tell people a little too much on occasion, you know like the tattoo I have on my vag.  Yeah my mom goes out of her way to tell people about it.  One of these days someone\’s going to ask to see it and you know I most likely will show them.  Doesn\’t matter because my girly bits are going to be part of an art book (that\’s a whole other story).  Anyway getting off topic here…  So the person on the phone was a woman and my mom says to her my daughter went to the pharmacy to get her B/C pills but her card didn\’t work.  I don\’t need that to happen (her?  What about me? lol) she says oh yes, she would need those, can\’t have that happening now or she\’d blame Scotia for it (yes, yes I would).  Apparently they both though that was hilarious.  I however not so much.  Sooooooo I got my card activated and verified, head back to JCP for a second time, wouldn\’t you know it…  MY FUCKING VISA DIDN\’T WORK AGAIN!  So I told the poor cashier I was sorry for being such a pain, she says oh no, I feel bad for you.  I know you need them (yes, yes I do!).  So as I\’m walking home I passed a dep that had an ATM, thought well maybe its just the terminal?  Hello cash advance attempt.  Success!  Grabbed some cash and went back to the pharmacy for the THIRD time and finally got my pills.

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Holy F**K psycho alert! Consider this a PSA

OK so if anyone really knows me, I blog about a ton of stuff but rarely do I talk about my personal life…  However sometimes, you need to do the world a favor and essentially provide them with a PSA (public service announcement).  Yes I know what I am about to say/do is flat out wrong but you know what?  Men are really starting to piss me off these days and this guy really managed to get my panties in the biggest freaking knot EVER!  Of all the \”dates\” I\’ve been on lately, there\’s only one that stands out in my mind as actually being good, I mean great, screw that fabulous.  So thank you \”V\” for at least convincing me that not every guy is a psychopathic douche-bag!  At least some people, OK one person didn\’t leave a bad impression.  Wish I could say that for the others but man, this guy really took the cake and blew me away!  Yes I know I should have walked away and left well enough alone but you know what, yeah this time I just can\’t seem to let it go.  Once I get sucked into an argument, no matter how petty I WILL have the last word dammit and I did!

We started chatting briefly on one of those rare occasions I was on MSN…  I\’m rarely on there, I just don\’t have the time.  I thought he was too much of a pretty boy for my own personal tastes but hey, who am I to judge right?  So anyway warning bells started coming forth but not the screaming siren sort.   Mostly based on what he said, but I thought meh what\’s the harm in going to meet him right?  So we made plans to go to a cafe beside his work on Notre Dame I\’m thinking its this one Has a PHD in engineering (take notes kids!).  Bear in mind that I totally gave up everything I was planning on doing to go meet this guy for a date.  He\’s leaving for New York for a conference (hope his plane crashes) in the afternoon and was going to be gone for a few days and since I have a few days off of work, why waste them?

Anyway, got a call from a friend who needed some help with her computer.  So I told her that I was on my way to this date with Eric and I would be a while.  Meaning I would be there within the hour if things didn\’t work out or a few hours if they did.  So as I am about to walk in there, he texts me back telling me not to come.  I was like WTF I\’m there and your pulling this shit on me?  So here\’s a transcript of our text message conversation, then you can tell me what you think about the whole thing. Love my cell phone for this!  This is also why I don\’t give anyone my land line number!  Very few people actually have it & there\’s a reason for that!

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Slightly somber, kinda sexist & then some…

So I bit the bullet and contacted Jason\’s family with my intentions.   Its something I\’ve been meaning to do for a while but I\’ve been hesitant to do so because really who am I to decide when its OK to hone in on someone\’s grief?  I can only hope that the end result is positive as opposed to negative…  I\’m in the process of filling out the monsoon of paperwork that the government requires me to fill out to obtain actual charity status.  Originally I was going to go the not for profit route because it gave me more flexibility in terms of who I could/couldn\’t donate to.  However being recognized as an actual registered charity I will hopefully be taken more seriously and I can also issue tax receipts which generally encourages more people to give.  This is a big deal to me and I will do everything in my power to make it happen.  To get around the French bullshit that the QC government slaps on you for being well anything in QC, I\’m registering it in Ontario.

QC just has SO much red tape, everything has to be filled out in French, needs a French name blah blah blah so fuck em.  That\’s one thing Jason and I had in common, him being in New Mexico had to deal with the whole Spanish thing.  Myself living in Quebec and dealing with the French, well needless to say we had similar gripes.  OK yes QC\’s official language IS French but I am from Ontario so it just feels like the right thing to do.  Not only that, Jason and I are both Anglophones, so QC you can kiss my pasty white derriere and yes in case you were wondering its totally legal as long as its registered in Canada.  I\’m pretty excited about making this happen!  I\’m not saying anything more then that for now, but big plans for the future are most certainly ahead 🙂

Which once again leads me to work…  Don\’t I always talk about work 97% of the time?  Well today is no different, wish it was but alas its not meant to be.  OK this is going to sound racist but it is what it is.  As much as I hate stereotypes, one I can\’t help but think that some cultures do it to themselves.  Like a good friend of mine is fond of saying:\”They had to start somewhere right?\” I totally agree!  I personally don\’t care who you are, where your from, what your skin color is blah blah blah.  That means nothing to me, however it really gets my panties in a knot when people use the whole \”in my country\” shit.  Fuck you, THIS IS CANADA!  Deal with it, or quite simply go back to wherever your country is where that BS is acceptable, it however doesn\’t fly here.

Prime example, when I worked at the university we had tons of international students because of certain laws set forth if you were in fact an international student; you had to work at/for the university.  So this one snotty brat from ******** was asked to do some dishes, he pointedly said to his superior and I quote:\”I will do no such thing, in my country that\’s woman\’s work\” Excuse me?  So yeah needless to say he was terminated.  So today we have a new guy come in from the same country.  He asked me if the chicken needed to be sliced and portioned, I was on my way out and its not my job to train this little bastards so I said sure go ahead.  Then he says to me:\” Get me a container to put this in\”  Excuse me?  Or more like excuse you!  Where are your fucking manners you ignorant prick?  First of all, I\’m higher up on the totem pole then you WILL EVER be, secondly, you DON\’T EVER talk to me like that.  So I made a point of saying:\”They\’re over there, get one YOURSELF\” he did so in a huff and proceeded to glare at me the entire time I was there.  Let me tell you something kid, I wear the pants in that kitchen.

Not only that, D\’s showing him around and says \’M will be in soon so just hang out and see what goes on as I was 10 mins away from leaving.  So he says oh there\’s no need I\’ve been cooking for 4 years now so it\’ll be easy for me.  I just need to know what\’s what and I\’ll be fine.  Four years eh?  Well I got news for you, I\’ve been doing it for SIXTEEN years.  So obnoxious!  So I of course while waiting to meet someone at the Cafe next door went out of my way to be as offensive and obnoxious as possible.  Needless to say Friday is going to be a REAL treat since I\’M the one who\’s working both Friday & Saturday night, therefore I\’M IN CHARGE can\’t wait!

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And so it goes

God there\’s just SO much to tell and seemingly not enough time to cram it into one blog post but alas I shall try my absolute best just the same!  So let\’s back track to Thursday, the St. Woods party.  What a party that was!  It was an alleged costume party, which I really didn\’t care to partake in per say.  I had planned all along to go as a nudist on strike and a few friends had attire planned.  So Kudos to Mag\’s for making a wonder woman costume out of duct tape!  Seriously it was awesome, in spite of the fact that she didn\’t take her jacket off all night because no one else was dressed up at all.  Poor girl!  Yeah she was pretty pissed about that.   Who can blame her though really?

On a quickie side note, I\’m actually thankful for this whole auto-save thing.  As irritating as it can be, I actually started writing this a few days ago and gave up when fire fox decided to act like a douche bag crash on me continuously throughout the evening.  Oh I also finally hooked up my printer & thank God so far it works.  Oh and my computer has a birthday, November 14th 2009.  Just putting it out there… Yep, I\’m a total nerd 🙂

Anyway back to my drunken debauchery that was last Thursday, not to mention totally EPIC! So was the epic and not  nearly as fun worse hangover I\’ve had in a almost a decade  that I had the next day.  I don\’t drink much as a rule (I know strange when my career is loaded with alcoholics)  and its rare that I get that drunk obnoxiously wasted.  However Drunk Steph is an obnoxious bitch really fun!  At least according to my fellow party goers.   Mostly because I don\’t care have no shame.  It was cold (-30, blustery and snowy) and there I am wearing a tiny sweater & a bitching camisole I got at Christmas.  When I should have been wearing a snowsuit!  For some reason, they took the door off the girls bathroom which wouldn\’t have been an issue had it not been \”single usage\”.  I discovered that boys (by that I mean 17 y/o)  use the lamest excuses to try and talk to my hot friends and myself (but asked Darren\’s opinion to make it seem less obvious), I had some kid following me around all night wanting to look down my shirt at my awesome cleavage admire my killer chest pieces, wearing red sequined horns isn\’t that strange, drinking champagne straight from the bottle is trailer park trashy totally acceptable at Vinyl and I am quite the plumber when I\’m wasted.  Oh and drunk texts, yeah I took the cake with those.  Poor Vince…  This is what I sent him from the bar:\”  Holy rhht i\’m just fuckim loadedg 4vs  Unreal holy rhht i\’m yeah wow I can barely snd let alone uext OMFG WHAT A NIGHT! Th4s place is clearhn nut. feel bad 4 thE GVYS. Opps anxway got hired at that place is sum swanky heakth clab in VSL  duno how i\’ma getin Home oh wej l i\’ll get there somehn kol.\”

I managed to bribe con pay one of our drivers to take me home.  Cos there was no way I was making it home on my own accord (could have grabbed a taxi but with the weather J was easier).  So meanwhile waiting for him to finish work, and having a early morning dinner, R asks me to make a quick delivery to the hotel a few doors down.  I was still pretty drunk but getting tired wanted to sleep kind of drunk at this point.  Of course the hotel is FULL of teenagers from NY going to Mt. Tremblant the next day.  So this kid is arguing with me about the exchange rate, tried to pay me off in Bacardi and meanwhile I\’m thinking I just want your money so I can leave and crawl into my awesome bed.  Didn\’t have the energy to argue and didn\’t want to case a scene either.  So in lieu of a tip, and before he paid me we did oh I dunno at least 10 straight shots.  So there I go, completely loaded ALL over again.  Well not over again but it totally renewed my drunkenness that\’s for damn sure!  So J makes sure I get home in one piece and not wanting to sleep through my shift the next day I set what I thought was my alarm…

Nope I actually changed the time on my clock 2 hours ahead of time.  So thinking that it was 10:30 am when my bladder demanded that I wake up, it was only 8:30am.  WTF SERIOUSLY!?! So I crawled to my fridge for my stash of vitamin water (I\’m pretty sure I was still kinda drunk) borderline hungover to try and ward off the evil effects of what I knew was to come.  Except I drank it way too fast and well my body didn\’t much care for that.  Sleep? Yeah forget about that…  Worst sleep I have had in ages, which sucked!  There\’s nothing worse then a pre-dawn hangover and you can\’t sleep worth a damn.  This is precisely why I don\’t drink that much…  Yeah it was fun and its been a damn long time since I\’ve stepped foot in a bar for a fairly major event as opposed to casual hanging out.  At least I know I can still hold my liquor, but thinking I should space that out just a little more…  One minute I wasn\’t feeling any pain and then the next minute (or at least it felt that way)I was utterly smashed.

So I get a new job, guys at work take it exceptionally well!  They all thanked me for my professionalism in not sneaking out the back door like Cody did.  Its tempting to, I ain\’t going to lie…  However I *am* an adult (at least in a numerical definition) and nothing that they have done to me personally (which is nothing but treat me with respect) I shall respond in kind.  If anything I am fiercely loyal to anyone who matters and I love those guys in my own twisted kind of way.  Even if most of them call me mom which deserves a smack in the face if it wasn\’t so funny!  Because I do sound like their mom on occasion and being that I am not only the oldest, I\’m also the only woman who works in the kitchen.  So D asked me if I was going to still bring them care packages from time to time.  Seems like I\’m the only one (aside from him) who\’s  gone out of their way to make sure things run smoothly.  That and just have what we need on hand.  Like a proper hand soap dispenser. So D in his typical smart-ass fashion says to me \”Hey Steph, you still going to bring us in hand soap and socks and stuff?\”  I just laughed and said not likely.  Although I\’m not officially leaving per say.  I offered to fill in if someone needed a day off/called in sick that sort of thing.  Maybe I\’ll even work a shift.

So today after being seriously annoyed with not having a peeler (we had 3, who knows where they are), then having our silicone pastry brush go MIA, one of the seasoning shakers break and countless other little things that I happen to be super anal retentive about to maintain some proper organization and what have you, I went shopping today.  This is why I love the dollar store: You can buy some sanity for the sum of $18.07 brilliant!  No point in going high end when you know shits going to end up missing/broken regardless of how much you paid for it.  Oh and I bought D some socks, which he thought was hilarious.  So I knew I was going to be a few mins late, told him I was shopping and had the ultimate care package.  He texts me back with \”Ha ha, awesome?!  Thanks Mom!\” lol.  Cheeky bastard, I\’m going to miss that guy…

As for said new job, well I called Chris on Monday.  I had the interview on Thursday and he told me that he would get back to me \”sometime next week\” once he knew what the story was and dealt with some things.  OK fine.  However I left the COC crew in limbo as to when I was leaving exactly and I thought there was nothing wrong with doing a follow up right?  Well he somewhat blew me off with the whole I told you on Friday (actually it was Thursday) that I had to blah blah blah and I\’ll call you in the middle of the week.  Well to me that means Wed.  Although I need to keep in mind that being a Chef myself, your schedule doesn\’t confer with the norm either.  But still…  So no phone call thus far.  Its technically Friday so needless to say I\’m BEYOND annoyed.  I quit my job already 2 people have been hired to replace me  and while G assured me that there was hours to be had, I don\’t want to take away from the new guys either because its not fair.  So once again I\’m looking for a job.  I swear to God this is a vicious cycle.  I\’m also applying for school soon once my new Visa arrives.  Started boxing again, can\’t wait to get in a better frame of mind.  Need to take better care of myself…