Let\’s test your memory shall we?
Oh fuck.
Did you sleep alone the last two nights?
Yep, I generally do.
How long was your last phone conversation you had?
about 15 seconds
Who was it with?
Pete\’s voice-mail
Are you starting to realize anything?
Four things you can\’t recover: The stone…after the throw. The word…after it\’s said. The occasion…after it\’s missed. The time…after it\’s gone.
OK day number two at the daycare, I\’m the executive Chef in case you were wondering. Even my friends think this is hilarious… Read:
Yeah me of all people in a day care, even I think that\’s strange not entirely my deal but I like the predictability of it all. I\’m not against change but I am against drama and stress… Kids need routine, so do I (at least at work, kinda). So it kinda works out for us both. Now don\’t get me wrong, I don\’t hate kids, birth control failures adorable children under the age of 5. Nor do I have an issue with giving your child a bitching, cool ass, name. I like being unique, I\’ve always marched to the beat of my own drummer. Always. I also try not to be judgmental, judge not lest ye be judged and all that. However I have to wonder what on earth goes through people\’s minds when picking a name for their child that\’s so out there. So out there in fact that it belongs in outer space.
Jupiter & Neptune. There are children in the day care who are named after planets. I can think of two children who just might end up hating their parents when they grow up. Perhaps not. OK yes there\’s Venus Williams, lets not forget the Venus fly trap. Not a tennis buff, but that plant is pretty freaking sweet! Also a Greek goddess However Venus is also a planet. Not only that, Venus rhymes with penis. However sporting a Medusa tattoo myself, I can see the correlation behind naming your child Venus. Jupiter & Neptune though? Perhaps their parents are astronauts? Possible astronomers or something? At least they didn\’t name them Uranus like one of my friends pointed out. Here\’s what my peanut gallery had to say about the whole thing:
Tammy: \”I know of another girl named Jupiter Jane…okay…but NEPTUNE?\” (that has the Jetsons written ALL over it)
Babette:\” At least it wasn\’t Uranus!\” (my thoughts exactly!)
Darcy:\”lol\” (coffee almost came out my nose when I made that discovery this morning)
Josh:\”Haha, why do they do it!?
…growing up is tough enough without being named after a planet!! lol xXx\” (yeah I know, hello!)
James:\”Yeah but when he turns out to be the head of a major corporation, and she\’s either some type of hippie therapist/social worker or psychic they won\’t seem so odd. It\’s nominative deteinism in action!\” (OK there\’s always one, that\’s OK because I wouldn\’t expect anything less from him 😉 lol)
Jaime:\”gah! I thought Pyper was an odd name…thankfully my daughters name has become more popular these days!\” (OK first of all, at least it applies to your heritage Jaime and its lovely & unique. I like it!)
Melanie:\”What about the parents in the States who named their son Adolf Hitler? They thought it was wonderful…. Children\’s Aid didn\’t, and little Adolf Hitler Campbell and his younger sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell were \”removed from the home\”. Those parents are winners!\” (there are no words…)
Fallon:\”I know a Rainbow Cloud :)\” (see that\’s hippy chic, I can at least respect that! Or one hell of a raver name)
Lindsay:this is great! lmao….my friend named her kid Treasure….Stripper pole here she comes (I feel compelled to agree with that)
OK so no I have no real reason to complain (kinda), I could be in Haiti right now. Not to be totally ungrateful because you know, for the most part I have it pretty damn good. At least in some regards… There is one \”situation\” (for lack of a better term) that I have 0 intentions of complaining about because well its awesome extraordinary ;). However on the not so awesome side of things… Work (do I talk about anything else?) yeah got my schedule yesterday and I have a whole two shifts. TWO! WTF? Max is on vacation and aside from Darren *I* have the most seniority hello! So I have five freaking days off of work, not so awesome when your not expecting them, and when you had four days off the previous week as well. SCREW YOU READING WEEK! Hopefully I get a call back from the daycare I applied to on Tuesday. Yeah me, working a daycare. That\’s beyond hilarious! I will however be the executive Chef, in charge of snacks and meals for 80 birth control failures adorable little children. Don\’t get me wrong, I don\’t hate kids. I love anyone Else\’s children. Its also quite similar to the work I did at Concordia so its not like its foreign to me. Oh and to top it off, I forgot to top up my damn phone and lost the killer plan I had grandfathered in. Shit! So yeah no text messages from me today, must call virgin and make sure I get my text pack back. Done!
We shall see what happens though in the meantime. In any case I can\’t afford this, so I\’m thinking prostitution,perhaps looking for a new job. Mostly I want to go back to school, badly. Yeah I know, WTF is wrong with me? Ask my mom how many schools I got kicked out of (Hi Mom, I love you!) *yes, my mommy reads my blog*. However being an adult changes everything. Age to me isn\’t relevant. Age really is just the numerical definition of how many years you\’ve been on this earth, it does not denote how many years you\’ve lived. Physically I\’m 31, can pass for 24 on a good day but I\’m old on the inside.
I bet your wondering what all four of these have in common… Oh but they do! See I am sure that I mentioned that some punk ass douche-bag \”compromised\” my Visa so mine was canceled as a precautionary measure. So because of that I had to wait for the new card to be sent to my mom\’s house in ON and then wait for her to send it to me registered mail. Shiny new visa comes in last Thursday and I finally got off my ass to go to the post office and pick up because I had to sign for it. So that\’s fine, I open up the envelope only to discover that my card wasn\’t ready to use, had to either activate it online or via telephone due to the chip I have with the pin. So I tried to do it online but because I\’m not the primary card holder I apparently needed some of my moms info. Turns out I didn\’t (bastards) but you know c\’est la vie. So I dropped it off at home and trekked over to Gryphon to see two of my favorite people. Had lunch with two of my favorite customers, played catch up and ran off to work to pick up my pay.
So I go to work, grab my pay, briefly tormented Freeman for a while. So I detach my cheque from my pay stub (we use a company now) sign it, fold it in 1/2, shove it into my back pocket and run off to the bank that is literally 2 blocks away! So as soon as I get there, I discovered that my pay was GONE. W.T.F?!?!?! Seriously? FAIL! F.A.I.L! So I hoped that maybe it fell out of my pocket at work somewhere and went back. I of course re-traced my steps which was pointless because it was nice and windy today and who knows where on earth it ended up? So back at C.O.C, I called my manager to get the number of our payroll company to put a stop payment on it. It was around 4:45, guess who closes at 4:30? THE FUCKING PAYROLL COMPANY! I was thinking seriously? Your joking right? So I ran back to the bank just to have a note put on my account file with the cheque number stating that I had lost it and to not accept it should someone try to cash it in my name because I signed it at work. Which sounds crazy to some people but sometimes its actually safer because then no one can attempt forgery. I consigned myself with the fact that most banks close at 4pm, which today being the ONLY time I was actually thankful for that! I\’m hoping that if someone actually found it, that in an attempt to cash it they use the bank machine… Yeah I know sounds nuts but I\’m thinking I should have a stop payment in place before it actually gets removed from said machine and cleared by the bank, best scenario. Worst scenario, someone actually was able to cash it on my behalf and then the payroll company tells me how utterly fucked I am… We\’ll see what happens.
So I thought, all is not totally lost because I have a Visa (thanks mom!) so at least I have access to some funds and won\’t be totally poor and can just slap my pay onto that when I actually get it. Except that wasn\’t meant to happen either… I do all my running around, then I head off to the pharmacy to pick up my birth control pills for the month and what do you know? MY FUCKING VISA CARD DOESN\’T WORK! I was about ready to loose it at this point, but it was almost 7pm IE: free mins kick in, so I call the handy 800 number on the back. \”Oh I\’m sorry miss your not the primary card holder\” So I said yeah I know, its my mom. \”Oh is your mom there (in a condescending talking to a child tone)\” I said yeah well, she\’s home but she also lives 650km away in Ontario and I\’m in Montreal. \”Well I need to speak with her before I do anything to the account because I have security questions I have to ask her\” . Fine, its a security thing, I get that. However all I wanted was my damn baby prevention script! You see, they keep me sane and baby free, oh yeah and I don\’t have breakouts either but that\’s a side effect I\’m willing to live with. In spite of the fact that I have awesome skin like that (thanks mom!). So I walk home, call my mom in ON, tell her what happened and asked her to call me back once she\’s off the phone with them praying that it doesn\’t take hours.
So mom calls me back and I apologized for horribly inconveniencing her like that because I knew she wasn\’t feeling well. She said its no problem Steph, I\’m your mom that\’s what you do as a parent. See this is why I don\’t have kids, they\’re a pain in the ass! I do however love my mom and all that she does for me <3. However my mom tends to tell people a little too much on occasion, you know like the tattoo I have on my vag. Yeah my mom goes out of her way to tell people about it. One of these days someone\’s going to ask to see it and you know I most likely will show them. Doesn\’t matter because my girly bits are going to be part of an art book (that\’s a whole other story). Anyway getting off topic here… So the person on the phone was a woman and my mom says to her my daughter went to the pharmacy to get her B/C pills but her card didn\’t work. I don\’t need that to happen (her? What about me? lol) she says oh yes, she would need those, can\’t have that happening now or she\’d blame Scotia for it (yes, yes I would). Apparently they both though that was hilarious. I however not so much. Sooooooo I got my card activated and verified, head back to JCP for a second time, wouldn\’t you know it… MY FUCKING VISA DIDN\’T WORK AGAIN! So I told the poor cashier I was sorry for being such a pain, she says oh no, I feel bad for you. I know you need them (yes, yes I do!). So as I\’m walking home I passed a dep that had an ATM, thought well maybe its just the terminal? Hello cash advance attempt. Success! Grabbed some cash and went back to the pharmacy for the THIRD time and finally got my pills.