Category Archives: Deep thoughts with Steph

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Meme: My Faith, My Tattoo

I seen this via Ania\’s blog while reading her latest post and since a lot of people are very curious about my tattoos, I thought I would finally satisfy everyone\’s curiosity.

For a change.

\”Background information:  Adam J. Copeland is a pastor conducting  informal research for some Christian youth curriculum addressing tattoos.  Adam’s also taking a grad school class on cyberculture.  This meme combines these interests, and hopefully will help him thoughtfully consider getting a tattoo himself.  So, please, pass on the meme below….\”

Meme:  My Faith, My Tattoo

In a few sentences, respond to the questions below — respond on your blog, on this blog, on Facebook, wherever. When you’re done, share, tag a few friends, and pass on the questions.  If you post this somewhere else, keep the title, “Meme: My faith, my tattoo” for easy searching. For background on what the heck a “meme” is, see this article.

1.  Describe your tattoo(s):

OK, I have a lot…  so I\’m posting a gallery instead.  Otherwise this blog post would be pages and pages long…

2.  What made you want that tattoo(s)?

I\’ve always wanted one! Being an artist and very creative as a child, tattoos have held a fascination for me for as long as I can recall!

3.  How did your faith influence your tattoo, indirectly or directly?

I don\’t think it was religious faith that influenced them at all. Tattoos for me are art therapy and spiritual to me in the sense that it enables me to heal.

4.  What’s the relationship between your tattoo and your broader understanding of your body?

Aside from coming to the realization that my body can be used as a living breathing canvas? None. It (tattoos) have given me a broader understanding of myself and the ability to heal.

5.  Was it worth it…do you have regrets?

Was it worth it? Absolutely! I have no true regrets, although I do wish I put more thought into placement when working on my back piece back in the day when I started getting work done. Tattoos are rapidly becoming an incredible art form and I have seen several awesome tattoos that extend across one\’s back top and bottom. So as it is, I will either have to get some serious cover up work done or try to find a way to include it in the design itself.

6.  What funny story has happened because of your tattoo?

I was forbidden to get a tattoo until I was out of the house. So the minute I was out on my own, away I went. My father had a fit of epic proportions! My mom, she was less then pleased I suppose. Although both have come to the understanding that tattoos for me are a way to express myself and my life story through carefully chosen images. Now they both get tattooed at the same place I do in ON along with my sister! My mom comes along with me when I get tattooed and I love it, it\’s a great way for us to bond 🙂

7.  How did your tattoo change your faith (and if not, why not)?

I won\’t get into my views on faith as that is always a subject of serious debate, ridicule and several other things. So no I wouldn\’t say that it changed it per se. Although it has enabled me to have more faith in myself and the ability to heal mentally & emotionally as well.

For a more detailed description of my tattoo gallery, it\’s after the jump!
For background on how this meme started, see Adam Copeland’s blog at http://adamjcopeland.com

Continue reading →

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Let\’s NOT cue the drama… Mmmm K?

I hate drama, I detest it.  I also hate attention whores and drama Queens.  Oh and people who lie for stupid, insignificant reasons.  Hell I just hate people in general!  Especially lately, maybe it\’s because I have PMS? Who knows, and quite frankly I doubt anyone truly gives a shit either.

Attention whores, drama queens and what I refer to as \’the topper\’ really get my panties in a knot.  Also \’pissing contents\’ because really, who needs those?

Apparently some people do.

I want to punch them in the face.

Really hard.

Some people just can not handle not being the center of attention.  Drives. Me. Insane.  For example: When I\’m talking about something I feel is important and they butt in with ya ya so they can blab on about their shit.

Is THAT the only reason you called me?  Because you want a fucking audience?!?

Please go get hit by a bus. Drop dead Shut your whore mouth for five fucking minutes!

Jesus H Christ!

Then there\’s the times when your having a conversation about whatever and something not totally relevant/yet slightly relevant to your story comes up.   Something that your not planning on driveling on about for any extended period of time but more so providing more background info on.  They butt in with yeah I went/was there/seen it too.  Yet somehow you know they\’re lying to you so you ask a question that had they actually seen/done the same thing on a different day/month/year they would provide an accurate answer.  Except they get all exasperated and flippant with you.  Because they know that you know they\’re lying through their fucking teeth!  Why?  Because they thought YOU were going to talk about it endlessly, therefore taking time away from listening to them blather on about What. The Fuck Ever.  Because while they want YOU to be THEIR audience for the entire duration of the conversation yet they don\’t have one fucking iota of interest in anything that\’s about to come out of your mouth unless it has something to do with THEM.

Of. Course.

Except they think your stupid and don\’t clue into their subtle lies.  Yet YOU know they\’re lying.  In spite of the fact that I don\’t say anything about it.  I know.  Oh boy, do I know.  Therefore because of your tactless bullshit, I have lost a whole lotta respect for you that you\’ll never have back.  Oh I bet that gets your goat now doesn\’t it?

When all you want to do is say: I don\’t care, I don\’t care Ohhhhhhhhhhh I Don\’t give a flying fuck about What. The. Fuck. Ever. You\’re about to drivel on about!

Woman like to relate, although some people take it to a WHOLE new level.  It goes from relating to: OMGWTFBBQ I\’m out of the spotlight so let\’s turn this into a pissing contest!  Because the attention NEEDS TO BE BACK ON ME, ME, ME!

Sadly, I can\’t usually back down from these moments.  I try to, I\’m usually ashamed when I can\’t.  I\’m competitive by nature, it\’s the inner Chef in me (Read: All the guys who said I wouldn\’t make it but I did; so fuck you, kiss my pasty white ass!) oh & my stubborn pigheaded ways that can\’t Won\’t refuse to do so.  When inside my head I\’m screaming:

FOR FUCK SAKES LET ME HAVE MY DAMN MOMENT!

Nope, they can\’t allow that, because it takes the spotlight OFF of them.

My fist is really itching to make an acquaintance with your face.

Yet I say nothing because that\’s irrevocably rude.  Until one day when you push me over the ever loving edge.

Well so is blogging about it, but hey I\’m not name calling and finger pointing here either.

Wonder just how many people are going to contact me AND accusingly  SAY OMFG STEPH I JUST KNOW YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT ME!

They\’re going to assume that\’s it\’s about them.  Why?  Because they see themselves in this very blog post.  Perhaps there\’s a reason for that.

Because that\’s in their nature.  So is scores of several other things, but hey who am I to judge?


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Adrenaline & why I hate it so much…

Not the \’rush\’, I am of course referring to the tattoo studio.

You see, my lovely friend Ania always keeps me (and countless others) updated on all the going\’s on in the modification world.  In several different languages no less!  Although her last two postings as of late have included opinions from that dreaded tattoo studio!  Every time someone (by someone I mean media related) wants a damn opinion on tattooing/related body modifications they mention those fucking tools on Sherbrooke street!  There are SO. Many. Other. Places. To. Call.

Why the hate?  Well perhaps it\’s because I\’m biased (I am) and I happen to have an enormous amount of respect for my tattoo artists.  They both do quite well without the pomp and circumstance that Adrenaline has.  It\’s simple, down to earth and to me…

It\’s home.

I feel comfortable enough to run around in my socks and underwear at both the Exotic skin shop (located at 398 King East Kitchener, ON, N2G 2L5) all the information and directions can be found here owned and operated by Tim Karn in the same location for over 20 years no less!  Also Jolly Roger\’s here in Montreal.

Yes in case you are wondering I have run around in my socks and underwear at both places!

Now, I personally know scores and scores of other amazing tattoo artists across the globe that I have a ton of respect for too.  Gil & Tim though?  Those boys are my kind of people.  You walk into their shops and there is no mistaking what your walking into.  It\’s the epitome of your a-typical old school tattoo shop.  The kind of place that you can hang out, swear and chill in your panties and ain\’t no one going to give a shit.  Honesty is forthcoming, no bullshit and almost down to the minute quotes!  Gil especially has a knack for this and Tim well I walk in there and say this is what I would like, I have this much money.  Make me look pretty!  Please 🙂  He does!  Neither of them disappoint (at least not yet and Tim and I have been \’married\’ for 10+ years and Gil and I have had an affair for a few years running now).  I always get what I want out of the pieces I choose, they\’re always honest with me if they think that the location or the colors won\’t work and when I go see Tim and book and appointment, he pretty much closes down the shop for ME.

Now that\’s love.

Then you have Adrenaline…  Take a look at their virtual tour, don\’t know about you but looks to me like I just stepped into a fucking mall or an A&F store!  Caters to the \’yuppie Euro trash\’ that Montreal is filled with.  I went in there once, back when I was still married and was co-owner of my own tattoo studio.  It was appalling to me to see the EXACT same pieces that wholesale for maybe $10.00 a piece jacked up to $100.00+ dollars.  HELLO INFLATION!  Sadly, we have been conditioned that if it costs more, then it\’s better right?  I beg to differ.  I\’m ALL about quality over quantity, which is why I totally heart Anatometal these guys are full of win!  Yes a little more costly then say the made in China by a five year old in a sweat shop but they quality will blow your mind!  It\’s like the Rolls Royce of body Jewelry.  One Tribe Organics is another class of people who WIN!  Nope, I have no direct affiliation with them, I just love them so damn much, they deserve kudos!  When I go shopping for clothes, i\’ll go to the Eaton center, when I want a tattoo I sure as hell won\’t get tattooed in a place that has this ridiculous retail rock-a-billy-wannabe punk, Ed Hardy gear vomited all over my studio space.  That\’s one reason why I hate them

Anyway back to the hate rant.  I had a friend who went in for your typical Kanji tattoo.  Nothing wrong with that, something simple, just her name.  She wanted it done in purple, her artist said NO.  Excuse me?  Said it had to be done in black.  Said it was too small to fill in with purple.

WTF?!?

I\’m sorry come again?

After being tattooed for almost a 100 hours at this point in my life, immersing myself in the tattoo \’sub-culture\’, knowing some very talented people and so forth I can NOT stress to people enough to EDUCATE YOURSELF.  Or at least pick up the phone and call me!  You know, your over the top tattooed friend?  She admits she wished she called me first. Everyone I know that has tattoos/is an artist all said WTF that shit ain\’t right.  I couldn\’t agree more!  Who says that your tattoo has to be outlined, let alone filled in with black?  Aside from that one douchebag tattoo artist that is.

Please, enlighten me on this.

I\’m dying to know!

Hell I have tattoos that have no outline at all!

Then there\’s the \’certification certificates\’ from the US.  OK nothing wrong with that, except that this is CANADA.  Way to go smarty pants, seems to me that someone is trying to give themselves far too much credibility here.  Those courses don\’t mean shit to most people, because we all know that a sucker is born every minute and most people don\’t have one iota of a clue what blood born pathogens are, let alone how to contend with them.  Furthermore, there\’s all kinds of \’courses\’ now available on DVD!  Hey nothing like some DIY scarification/tattoo courses now is there!

Anyway the bottom line for me is this: I\’m old school when it comes to tattoos.  I like my tiny hole in the wall shops, which some might consider \’white trash\’ because I refuse to go to a place that\’s so ridiculously over the fucking top when it comes to making money, not to mention can\’t cater to the simplest request.  Likely because they felt that that particular tattoo wasn\’t worth their time.  I get that (small pieces are a bit of hassle), however my money is just as good as anyone else\’s and that place makes my skin crawl.  I know there\’s some good artists that work there, however in this case for me the whole outfit, not to mention Mr. Douchebag tattoo artist pretty much spoiled it for me.  Because YES one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch!  Don\’t you know that mold spreads and pretty much contaminates everything in its immediate radius?

Defend them all you want until your blue in the face, I could care less.  I will however not give one red cent to any of their locations.  I\’d rather chill with my boys in my undies where it\’s comfortable and I feel like a member of the family, not a pay cheque thanks.  I personally like being treated like a person.

Because I am.

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Tick tock

What the fuck?  That\’s the sound of Steph\’s biological clock…

To coin a phrase from a friend:\” Sweet baby Jesus I\’m fucking screwed!\”

OK well she doesn\’t usually say that, but close!
She uses sweet baby Jesus a lot.  Now I can see why!

So I had a horrific revelation of sorts the other day…  I work in a daycare.  Which is beyond hilarious if you really knew me.  Why?  Because I am was so anti baby it would blow your mind!  When I worked at the tea room, parents would think that we were their babysitters.  One time I told someone that if they didn\’t keep an eye on their child who was being utterly disruptive to other patrons (running around and into my kitchen and hanging out at other people\’s tables while mommy was playing catch up with a friend), that I would duct tape them to the chair.  Not to mention the mother who was breastfeeding her baby FACING the huge bay window of the tea shop not covered up what so ever.  I\’m not talking a discreet breastfeeding display here either, she may as well had her whole shirt off .  OK, no I don\’t have a problem with breastfeeding in public (never have).  So before all you public breast feeding pro choice people come and burn my house down, chill out for a moment.

It sucks to live your life according to others standards of decency but you can’t discount that they will often have an affect on you and yours so I’m trying to tread lightly and find that middle ground. I personally could care less, I have my own pair of breasts to stare at all the time and they\’re fan-freaking-tastic if I do say so myself 😉

Breasts provide nutrition for the little\’s, but they\’re also sexual things as well.  Argue all you want about the topic but its true.  For example: This:

\"Notvs

This:

\"\"Anyway this isn\’t about breastfeeding, but regardless of how natural it IS, some people aren\’t cool with that.  IE: my uptight customers, or even me as I\’m setting your scones down on your table and getting a face full of boob (I\’m not thirsty thanks, and I have enough milk in my coffee already).  Feed your kids all you want, I\’m all about saving money!  Except maybe be a  little discreet about it, there\’s no need to show off all the goodies right?  There\’s nothing wrong with it, and I fail to see anything sexual about breastfeeding either mind you.  Although I am sure that countless others would beg to differ.

I\’m currently waiting for the hate brigade to show up at my door.

That and countless other things that have turned me off from wanting to have kids…  Like stretch marks, I have enough of those already thank you.

I don\’t need more.  Do. Not. Want. Thanks.

Then I met Elliot.

Swoon!

I seen him during the tour my co-worker was giving him of the daycare.  They always make a stop in the kitchen to introduce them to the Chef (me) and show them the facilities that we have in store.

It was love at first sight.

One look at those huge blue eyes, two chins, those itty bitty feet, chubby little hands and the most perfect cupid bows mouth would have you falling for this adorable little as well.  OMG I have never in a million years been so smitten by someone\’s baby!

With the exception of my niece and nephew of course, because they\’re perfect!  Not to mention my friends little\’s OMG they\’re so cute!

Anyway Elliot is my latest \”boyfriend\” at the daycare.  They say the way to a man\’s heart is through his stomach and seeing as how all the little boys at the daycare love me, this must be true.

I\’m quite popular with the little\’s for this reason.

Anyway moving along…  My period was is all messed up for a few reasons, and now that I\’m not on my pills for the moment, my damn hormones seem to be all over the place.  So Wed. I made my morning trek into the nursery and seen my adorable sweetheart Elliot and this feeling of longing came over me.  I didn\’t want to put him back down, I just wanted to hold this child forever and take him home.

Wait WHAT!?!  *enter the sound of screeching here*

Dear God my first though was…

I\’m turning into one of those people.

You know, the one\’s whose ages start to creep up on you and stuff.  I just turned 32, this is what I have to look forward to for the next few years, you know until I get all menopausal like?  Or con, bribe find a Dr.who will tie my tubes, or better yet, just yank it ALL out?

Because my OBGYN won\’t *Le sigh*

Are you kidding me?!?

Ah but sweet Elliot, I have to get a picture of this kid, because he\’s just so damn cute!  As I was leaving on Wed, I of course had to stop in and fight the urge to steal say good-bye  to my adorable sweetheart Elliot.  I put him down to leave and as soon as I turned and walked away he started to cry 🙁  I turned around and looked back at him and he looked at me with one lone tear rolling down his cheek with the worlds biggest pout on those lips and my heart melted.

Then of course reality kicks in, the cost, the time, did I mention the money?  Oh yeah and then I can turn into one of those mommy bloggers.  You know the type that have NOTHING to say other then what their children ate/slept/shit/barfed?  Yeah I can\’t stand them either.  While some are a wealth of information when you have no where to turn (I like useful things like that!) I like my mommy blogger friends/people I read the best.  Because while they do in fact talk about their children, they have other things to talk about as well.

So that at least makes it interesting to read and I can on occasion go AWE!  Oh yeah and feel my uterus contract with need and longing…

No only do they talk about their adorable children, there\’s things like dealing with the possibility of having another…

This is why I love Tracy!

Also not to mention that reading her last blog post, essentially took a sledge hammer to my clock and smashed it to pieces, this is another reason why I love her!

Thank you sweet baby Jesus for that!