Category Archives: Epic FAIL!

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Glass houses

A very long ass time ago Cher (yes I said Cher) had a hit song out called \”if I could turn back time \” which is often what comes to mind when I say something along the lines of words are like weapons (Words are like weapons they wound sometimes).

Not entirely relevant to this post per se but a fun little fact just the same.

Anyhoo…

An interesting thing happened the other day and it was completely by chance.  It also goes to show you that some people no matter how \’book smart\’ they are, are really, really fucking stupid yo!

It happened a little something like this while we were waiting to meet with one of Nick\’s friends from the dark ages high school:

Nick: Babe, I forgot my phone at home.

Me: Do you recall anyone\’s phone number off the top of your head?

Nick: No, of course not. Blah blah blah…

Me: OK well lucky for you, I have data on my phone, i\’ll just reply to the  e-mail so that everyone will have my cell number in case someone needs to get in touch with us.

Nick: Oh well in that case, check and see if so and so\’s number is in there would you?  It should be in the e-mail that was sent out.  We can just call him and get M\’s number from him.

Me: I\’m on it.

So there I am, scrolling through a pile of e-mails that were sent to pretty much everyone when it became clear to me that they were \’piggy backing\’ off of an old thread from a previously planned get together.  Someone wasn\’t too bright in doing so because my eye happened to fall upon this from one of Nick\’s douche friends so called good friends e-mail reply…

\”Should we invite Nick?  Maybe he can bring his hot new girlfriend.  Just kidding, unless you\’re into that sort of thing\” 

Thing?

Since when am I a fucking thing?

Listen ass bag, first of all I am A. FUCKING. PERSON. A kick ass one at at. 

That\’s common knowledge yo. 

Secondly: When you\’re sending out an e-mail blast perhaps you should start a shiny new composition?  You know the shiny new one that DOES NOT have you making derogatory remarks about your friends girlfriend?  Even more so when said friend and his girlfriend are included in said e-mail recipients.

See I personally don\’t give a shit what you think of me.  I know that I am not for everyone and that\’s fine.  Because let\’s face it honey, I wouldn\’t tap that (you) if you were the last offering left on earth, so as far as that\’s concerned I suppose the feeling is mutual?  I\’m clearly not your type judging by your wife, (who is lovely by the way) we\’re complete and utter opposites of each other.

That\’s OK!

You know what ISN\’T OK?

The way you betrayed someone who thought you were a better friend than that.

I will not loose any sleep over your small minded opinion of me, nor will I let your poor judgement(s) of myself color my self worth in anyway either.

My boyfriend on the other hand?

He\’s amazing and he deserves much, much better than that.  

He was far, far more tactful than I would ever be when he pointed this indiscretion out to you.  And yet you don\’t have the balls to say anything for yourself.

 I do however believe that we all live in glass houses and therefore should not throw stones…

So honey if you are going to throw stone\’s from your glass house, put some clothes on.  Your vagina is showing.

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I\’m not dead.

I have to make a more conscious effort to blog more.  Not that I think that people are all that interested in what I have to say exactly, just because it\’s cathartic and I like my thoughts to be shared I suppose.

Mind you, I have become increasingly lazy about this for quite some time now.  I have countless pictures to upload on my other blog, my facebook page(s) and my google plus account.  Talk about being a little over saturated when it comes to social media.

Life is good. Busy, but really good.

Nick lives with me officially now.  That\’s kinda sorta old news in a way for some, not so much for others.

It\’s strange for me to have someone sharing my space.  Shit got real when everything he owned showed up at my door and sadly enough, i\’m still NOT done putting it away.

Went to see P!nk on Tuesday at the bell center, what an outstanding show!  She nailed it!

I feel blah today, so this blog post is going to be uber lame.  It\’s one of those times that I really shouldn\’t bother publishing it, but why the hell not.

😀

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Bitch please!

It\’s rare that I post anything about work, however since I don\’t have horrific dates to post about; work it is! I really just need to bitch. It’s my blog, I’m allowed so there!
I actually enjoy my job, most of the time. Lately it’s been loaded with major ball suckage. The cook we had (who sucked ass on several levels anyway) is no longer with us so my work load has increased exponentially (since I\’m working both sides) while my patience has dwindled down to non-existent. I also don’t deal well with stupid.

We have a lot of replacement staff on hand right now and needless to say, it’s Fucking. Everything. Up.

Dislike.

So we have this one woman and I wasn’t impressed with her personality from the get go, but I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. She’s rude, loud, and obnoxious and has the poorest observation skills. She also mumbles & only speaks French. So that makes conversations with her interesting almost mission impossible…

I could go on about several of her fails but I’ll stick to just the one. So, today I’m at work in my kitchen de-boning salmon for lunch. So needless to say, my hands are covered in salmon slime.

Yeah I know that’s hot.

Anyway, she comes in and grabs a glass of water and I’m standing there doing my thing and she’s talking (mind you, she didn’t address me directly so I\’m not listening) and I’m doing my thing ergo not paying one iota of attention to her because she could be talking to herself for all I know. Then I hear this:

EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!

I whipped around, wondering who in the hell she thought she was talking to ME like that IN MY FUCKING KITCHEN no less. Then she asks me this:

Pouvez-vous  passer le savon s\’il vous plaît?

I just looked glared at her with the ultimate are you fucking kidding me look on my face.

Seriously? Are you blind? Or just really fucking stupid?

I’m clearly busy and my hands are covered in shit and you want me to pass you the fucking soap? Jesus Christ! One of these days, I’m just going to haul off and punch her in the damn face! I don’t know who she thinks she is, but honey I got news for your ass: I CAME FIRST AND IT’S MY FUCKING KITCHEN CUNT! SHOW SOME ME SOME FUCKING RESPECT BITCH.

 Never mind the fact that she had no business being in there in the first place, let alone washing her own dishes*.  Especially  when you\’ve been working in one of the classrooms that have had an illness outbreak.  Sunlight ain\’t going to cut it it sister.

I really need to get out of this industry before I accidently on purpose stab someone.  Common sense isn\’t that common and you can\’t fix stupid…  Yet people like that seem to flock to me.  WTF is it about me?!?  Seriously!

End rant,carry on.

*In case you\’re wondering why doing your own dishes is a no-no at my job, it\’s simple. Germs. Also people don\’t know how to wash their dishes correctly and end up putting them back in the cupboard when they\’re still wet and then it get\’s all sludgy and moldy (true story, happened last summer. Awesome!) so while people may think they\’re helping me, the reality is you\’re not. So please, just don\’t.  
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Hows that Mangina working out for you?

I hate boys that whine.  I really have a deeply rooted dislike for them.  What slays me is that men always complain about how their S/O are clingy, or nag too much.  You know, the usual.

Clearly they\’re not acquainted with some of the men that have had the misfortune to cross my path.  First there\’s Bryan who really needs to man up and grow a proper pair, also wax his back.  Then Dan who I don\’t exactly care for on some level or another.  We just don\’t have the right kind of chemistry, yet he keeps trying…

I got an e-mail from him today, said something to the effect of: I\’m confused, should I continue to wait for you or just give up?  OK well first of all, I never asked you to wait for me.  I don\’t even really like you as a person so why on earth would I say such a foolish thing?  So if anyone\’s confused, it really should be me.

Then we have Tom.  I texted him last night, thinking that maybe today was a possibility of us hanging out.  Didn\’t hear anything back, didn\’t sweat it either.  I\’m not feeling well so no big deal.  Except about an hour ago I got a text from him saying the usual \’hey what\’s up\’ which I didn\’t respond to because I was busy doing other things.  Half hour later: Hello?!? 10 mins after that: well ok than, have yourself a good night.

Dude. WTF?  

Give me some breathing room, time to answer!  Seriously!  I\’m busy doing some stuff that really needs to get taken care of, you are clearly not a priority right now.  Had you made an effort to text me earlier then maybe the situation would have been different and in any case I\’m charging my phone because it\’s currently dead.  Get. A. Grip.  I wasn\’t aware that I was to be at your beck and call.  You know what that screams to me:

I\’M NEEDY! 

Do. Not. Want.

Next time we talk, I\’ll be sure to confirm that I\’m the only one here who has a vagina between the two of us.  Otherwise, I\’ll just ask what kind of tampons he prefers. Good lord.

You know what I have to say to that whiny boys?

???(?_?)??? Now go make me a sandwich.