by

I am Canadian: the 2011 edition

I got this in an e-mail (thanks Brad!), some things I feel should be broadcasted not merely forwarded.  Sadly, I agree with pretty much all of this.
I am in the minority in Calgary ,Vancouver , Toronto and every casino in this country..

I was born in the forties, fifties or sixties, yet I am somehow responsible for some First Nations people being screwed out of their land in the 1700\’s!
I pay import tax on cars made in Ontario

I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but not allowed to drive without a seat belt.

All the money I make until mid July must go to paying taxes..

I live and work among people who believe Americans are Ignorant…  These same people cannot name their own country\’s new territory.

Although I am sometimes forced to live on hamburgers and don\’t have a pot to piss in, I sleep well knowing that my taxes helped purchase a nice six figure home in Vancouver for some unskilled refugee.

Although they are unpatriotic and constantly try to separate… Quebec still provides most of my nation\’s prime ministers. (Which explains everything no?)

95% of my nation\’s international conflicts are over fish.

I\’m supposed to call black people African Canadians, although I\’m sure none of them have ever been to Africa for that matter.

I am being told that paying a 200% tax on alcohol is fair. 

I am also being told that the same tax on gasoline is also fair.

Even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my Grandfather gave me when I was 14, I will be considered a criminal if I don\’t register it.

I am being told that spending $15 billion to promote the French language in the rest of Canada is fair when the province of

Quebec doesn\’t support or even recognize the ENGLISH language.  (you got that right!) 

I am being told that paying $1.8 million for 3 Stripes (\’The Voice of Fire\’ painting in Ottawa) by the National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though 99% of this country didn\’t want it or will ever see it.

When I look at my pension and realize that I take home a third of what I actually make, I say \’Oh well, at least we have better health
care than the U.S.A..\’

I must bail out big corporations who drive their business into the ground and say, \’yeah that\’s ok.\’ And When they move all their manufacturing plants and jobs to a third world country and say, \’no problem.\’

I must fork over my portion of the 11.5 million dollars to show the Queen of England and her family a good time visiting in my country even though I can\’t afford to visit the province next to me. (yeah, that would apply to me too)

My National Anthem has versions in both official languages.

Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest Military buffer for the United States, and the number one destination for fleeing terrorists. (Hell yes, come to Canada.  ALL of you!) 

The Lord\’s prayer is not allowed in our schools anymore because of other religions who chose to move here.

I am an angry white person. 

I am one pissed off taxpayer, who is broke

I am Canadian !!!

by

First impression\’s…

are apparently lasting ones and thank God for that!  Because at least my first months rent was paid ON TIME.

Except, I had a major faux pas with my rent this month, which is a tad embarrassing (only my second month living here) and it\’s costing me a small fortune!  You see my bank had this option that you could have additional savings set up for every transaction of your choice ( withdrawals made  via an ATM, in house or whenever you used your bank card to pay for something).  As in for every purchase you make, x amount of money will be transferred to another account.  Not a bad idea overall and it\’s helped me save a few bucks through the years by placing said money in a  guaranteed investment account.  Except this time, that nifty little option cost me dearly.

I just moved, had a ton of dental work done and hell yes I had to buy a ticket to Pearl Jam.  Money\’s a tad tight for the moment, however that too will level itself out eventually.  I\’m pretty responsible about paying my rent on time, I do like having a roof over my head.

Who doesn\’t?

It wasn\’t until I got home that I was planning on going out and getting something that I thought to myself to check my balance and see if I had enough stashed in my main account to get what I needed.  Imagine my surprise and utter horror when it dawned on me that I had too much money in my account this close to payday.  My rent cheque bounced due to a lack of $2.26.

Yes TWO DOLLARS AND TWENTY SIX FUCKING CENTS!

So with a nice stockpile of NSF fee\’s, that $2.26 is going to end up costing me $67.00

AWESOME!

It\’s not as if the money wasn\’t actually there either.  Because it was.

IN ANOTHER ACCOUNT!  WITH THE SAME BANK!

Had they not charged me \”other bank fee\’s\”.  For what exactly, I don\’t know. So much for my accounts being covered under a flat rate, since I don\’t typically use other bank machines.  Mostly because I rarely carry cash.  What pisses me off, is that something like this has happened before.  Not quite the same situation but close.  What did the bank do?  Went into another account, took the money out and only charged me $5.00/ that I can live with.

This isn\’t the first time they\’ve screwed me either.  They cashed two cheques at the same time, regardless of the fact that one was post dated for a month later which they \”corrected\” but I of course still had to pay the $42.00 NSF fee.  That was last summer (thanks douche bags!)

So fuck you bank, this is the LAST time you have screwed me over.  I\’ll be looking into your competition, because I am officially FED up with your incompetent bullshit!  If it was something that *I* did, fine.  I\’ll take responsibility.  However the money was there, and you choose not to use it.  So that being said:

FUCK YOU!

 

by

Moving up and out!

So I got a new place that is amazing!

Happened so fast that I haven\’t had much time to plan, so bear with me as I not only start the new lease on my apartment, but my new lease on life too.

 

I\’m excited!

by

Apartment hunting is le suck!

I\’ve searched high and low for the almost perfect apartment.  I\’m a little spoiled where i\’m at right now being so close to a metro which I obviously prefer however I am willing to make some minor sacrifices.  Such as taking the bus or not being 100% central within reason.  Bear in mind I don\’t have a car so these things are nice to have in a relatively convient area.  The first place I went and checked out was OK, however I felt it wasn\’t near anything.  Then today my geographically challenged ass found out different (DUH!) so hopefully it\’s not too late to apply and hopefully I can score a 4.5 (2 bdrm) since they\’re quite reasonable at $555.00/month.  I looked at the one bedroom which was decent and it\’s cheaper then here!

Anyway, I took an application and kept looking just the same.  Holy shit, the dissapointment was UN-real!  I like most people have a budget of course and for the sake of having an extra bedroom to use as a guest room/office I was more then willing to spend a little more money.  False advertising should not be allowed when it comes to trying to rent your space!  IE: it\’s on the corner of such and such (ideal street) and then you call them and find out it\’s in a totally different part of town!

Then I looked at a place that\’s relatively close to a metro which is ideal, until I actually seen the place!  Strangest layouts I have ever encountered!  I seen two, both were in the $600.00 price range and included nothing (appliances, heat/hot water/hydro) was to be paid by the tenant.  Which would have been kind of OK except that 1. I don\’t own any appliances and aren\’t in the market to purchase any either.

One place had a fuse box (WTF!?!) I\’ve heard those aren\’t allowed in apartments anymore due to being a fire hazard and the current tenant told me that his hydro bill was $150/month!  Holy shit!  I pay $45.00 all year round pretty much.  Granted I don\’t cook here much or have a washer/dryer but still… Not only that it was totally open.  There was a claim of a closed room but I don\’t recall seeing one (?) so it was totally open concept and the floor was really soft in some places, so that wasn\’t ideal either.  Not only that ALL the flooring was this old, gross vinyl tile (ICK!)

The second one was not bad, although a tad large for my tastes.  Perhaps if the layout was different I would like it more.  It was also on the top floor, needed some major work and included nothing and had washer dryer hook-ups which is great if you have the money to buy them.  Yeah you can buy them second hand but then those usually don\’t come delivered and don\’t have warranties which bothers me.  Not only that, my sisters dryer caught on fire and almost wiped out my entire family so not down with buying used appliances!  So that in turn would end up costing me a small fortune.  I don\’t mind painting, sprucing a place up a little but that would cost more then I have.

I seen another one the other day which I really liked except for the floors.  Again with the ugly tile and carpet throughout.  I HATE carpet!  It\’s usually utilitarian and ugly, it was poorly laid and harbors dust, dirt and other icky things which I don\’t care for.  It was also in the basement which is kind of meh.  That could be changed though, that wasn\’t too big of a deal to me.  So we met and I called him back to confirm the place, leave a deposit and what have you and he just called to say that the woman who\’s using it as a cheap crash pad is keeping it. It was also kind of pricey at $580/month which included nothing.  I would have dealt with it because I LOVE that part of town.  Alas it was not meant to be apparently!

So today I go and see a place and it\’s *almost* perfect.  I loved the layout, the location was great, it included everything including a gas stove (total win) and the fridge, had a balcony, lots of windows and storage.  I could totally overlook the pink tub, toilet and sink.  Also the shitty paint job since I have every intention of changing it up anyway.  The landlord himself however?

Total ass-hat douche bag.

He focused far too much on the fact that I wouldn\’t give him my SIN, actually in fact got rather whiny about it.  Said that major rental agencies would refuse to give you the apartment if you don\’t give them that information and so forth.

Bullshit.

According to the office of the privacy commission of Canada you have to give written consent in order to access that information.  You also have the right to file a complaint with them if your rights have been denied or you have been refused a service because you refuse to disclose that information.  He (Wally) tried to tell me that it was my right NOT to disclose such information, it raised a red flag.  WTF?!?  A person\’s SIN number is a nine digit number that pretty much discloses your entire life.  I am ONLY required to disclose this information to my employers and the government and that\’s it!  I know for a fact that you can do a credit check WITHOUT having that particular information.  He tried to tell me that hydro Quebec required it and I called him on his bullshit.  I didn\’t have to give them my SIN number in order to get an account with them.  Yes most places do require a piece of ID, however I am not comfortable handing out my personal information to some random dude!

Anyway needless to say he got really whiny and rather pain in the ass like over deferential things that Do. Not. Concern. Him. Period.  Overall, he acted like a greedy, petulant child and pretty much knew that he blew it.  Which likely pissed him off but I\’m not an idiot and I am a responsible adult and I\’m also willing to compromise here and there but there are some things I will not budge on, simple as that.

So I\’m resorting back to the place I first looked at in the hopes that I can nab a 4.5 instead of the 3.5 going to give them a call in the morning and see.  I thought it was in a different part of town, but after being out on the hunt today, it\’s actually not as bad as I thought.  So worth a shot just the same!  That place had pretty much everything that I wanted as well, so here\’s to hoping!