Category Archives: Life as I know it

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so…

I\’ve had this gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach for a few days now.  It would come & go & at first I thought it was just because my nephew was going to be in Kentucky & going on his first plane trip…  It would come & go and for the most part I ignored it because I refused to let myself get stressed out over what could possibly be nothing.  That is until I came home from work…  You see I rarely get calls on my home phone, and if I do its generally from the family or the bank calling.  I had a voicemail from the clinic I\’ve been going to asking me to call them back.  Well that bad feeling came back with a vengeance and of course they don\’t give you results over the phone…

So I phoned the clinic regardless and was told that Dr. Levy wanted to see me to discuss the results of my blood tests with me and he\’ll be there until 8pm tonight  which doesn\’t work for me because I\’m leaving for Ontario tonight and still have a thousand things to do before I leave & Monday is not an option because I won\’t even be IN Quebec until sometime next week.  So I have NO idea what those tests turned up because there was quite a few aside from the standard ones (sugar, cholesterol, calcium blah blah blah) because all the \”extra\” diagnostics tests are acronyms that mean nothing to my non medical trained self…

One thing I do know, is that I am scared half to death. Part of me wants to go and run to the clinic NOW to see what\’s up but I don\’t have the time & if its really bad then I am content to have my head up my ass until my vacation is over. I know that\’s bad, but I\’ve been waiting for this for SO long and its my mom\’s birthday party on Saturday(happy 50th birthday mom!) and I want to at least attempt to enjoy myself while I\’m there in spite of the fact that there\’s obviously something quite wrong with me and that will hang over me like a dark cloud…

At least I know the cat & my apt will be OK (I would hope) thanks to John. He\’s so sweet 🙂

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A proper update if you will…

You ever have one of those days where you truly question how you manage to get through life? Friday for me was exactly that, normally I wouldn\’t bother posting something so utterly embarrassing but I can laugh about it now. My awesome mom is hooking me up with a copy of her visa (thanks mommy I love you!) so I can re-build my credit & get some much needed dental work so I had to go to her bank here & sign the papers that they had sent over.

I also had to go to my bank and I wanted to pick up my Greyhound ticket for my vacation since the price is better if you buy a non refundable ticket 14+ days in advance. Anyway I thought it would be more simple to do a \”round trip\” if you will since the furthest I had to go was Berri Metro & back again. So I get to Berri, head over to station Centrale to buy my ticket from Toronto to Cambridge (my final destination) and the girl working the ticket counter asked my 5, count em 5 times what day I needed the ticket for.
For SOME reason I kept saying July 19th, when I am due to arrive in Toronto on the 18th I was distracted. Mostly because I got written up at work, I\’ll get to that in a minute. So anyway after realizing my EPIC FAIL I went back to the ticket counter thinking I could save face by buying another ticket because the ticket price was $9.03 due to a heavy discount but to change the date it was $15.00 except that didn\’t work out quite like I had planned.  I go back to another girl and she tells me that my ticket it $26.03 I was thinking come again? I know Saturday travel is more costly but it was an ADVANCE PURCHASE which is supposed to be MORE cost effective! So I sucked up my fail and said wouldn\’t it be cheaper to change this one instead? After she realized that I had just bought it 5 minutes ago, the original person I bought it from changed my ticket (much to my chagrin) free of charge which was really nice!
Back on the metro and off to McGill I go looking for my mom\’s bank… I\’m geographically and directionally retarded and the directions weren\’t 100% clear as to where this place was because their mailing address was totally different from the actual location because it was IN the metro Jesus Christ. Anyway I DIDN\’T know that and ended up wandering around McGill university & area for the better part of 45 minutes trying to find this place and gave up. It wasn\’t until I had finished off the last of my errands and headed for home that I seen an ad posted on metro vision that I clued into where it was! I\’m pretty sure fate was mocking me at that moment… Perhaps not but regardless I went there today and I found the place and signed the papers. Didn\’t help taht when I called them I didn\’t get a call back for 3 days and the message that was left for me was in rapid fire French that none of us could understand.

My boss has been acting like an epic twat and it seems like lately I\’ve been her \”target\” of choice. So I got a formal written notice that was SO BOGUS it blew me away! 98% of the things that she complained about which I did do to an extent (which she exaggerated and slightly bullshitted on as well) I will admit, however they are OVER AND DONE WITH. I even called the labor board and even they said she has no grounds because I am not a \”repeat\” offender and it was just things that pissed HER off, nothing more. *eyeroll* whatever, I totally rebutted that one. I was nice and polite about it, but I was also brutally honest and I got my point across pretty damn good I must say. She wasn\’t nearly as bitchy to me today, which is a good thing because I\’m not in the mood to deal with it.

I\’m was far more concerned about my looming health issues…
A few weeks ago I started getting this odd tingling sensation in my pinky finger which I thought nothing off because I kill my nerve endings in my fingers on a regular basis anyway, that is until it started to spread up to my arm usually it would stop at my elbow but then I would get shooting pain that would sometimes carry up into my armpit.
I blew it off thinking that my carpal tunnel was acting funny again and gradually it started to go away except I STILL have almost no feeling left in my pinky finger on my left hand. That is until last night… I was sitting there on the couch with John after dinner and I never wear socks while at home and I propped my feet up on my coffee table and happen to notice that my usually tiny feet had appeared to have gained about 5lbs, I looked at the right and that one too appeared to be slightly swollen but not anywhere near the left one. Which struck me as odd because I didn\’t feel like I was in any pain/swollen or anything of the sort if that makes sense. Until this morning when I woke up and took another look at them and my legs… Which appeared to have sprouted balloons! Holy FUCK! So I did my morning thing, went to put socks on which took quite a bit of effort as they barely fit on my fat ass foot and swollen ankle and likely contributed to the seemingly lack of circulation.
I really had to shove my foot into my normally too big for my feet shoes and I started off to the bus stop and walking was painful and took far more effort then it normally does. I could feel it stretching and it kept sending little shocks of pain to my knee which picked that very moment to start acting up again as well. So I said the hell with it i\’m going to the clinic after work to get all this checked out because I also had a random smattering of bruises that keep appearing on my legs and taking a really long time to heal.
Lucky for me I got to see Dr. Hottie Pants again woo hoo! Anyway he was asking me all these questions about work, did I travel, get bitten by something and so on. This has NEVER happened to me before and because its on my left side mostly he\’s a little concerned that somethings being blocked somewhere in the veins that could lead to my heart.

So I have to go and get a ton of blood tests, a bunch of x-rays & ultrasounds which I can\’t afford AT ALL even if I wanted too! He referred me to a private clinic upstairs in the building because I would get in faster but my insurance company DOESN\’T cover ultrasounds because the RAMQ DOES cover them *IF* they\’re done in a hospital and they range from 2-4 hundred dollars EACH and I need 4, four of the damn things! Even he wasn\’t 100% sure what was wrong with me and said that it was odd & a \”unique\” situation.  He tried to not scare the crap outta me but he failed, and failed hard!
So I\’m going to call 2 reputable hospitals here and see if I can get into their diagnostics clinic because I can\’t afford that, private care may be more effective but damn costly.    I\’m scared to death about this whole situation because it could be fatal & I can\’t afford to get the proper care I need. Thank you Quebec/Medicare for SUCKING SO FUCKING HARD! I pay taxes and into medicare for what? One can only hope that they realize how serious this situation is and get me in ASAP because this CAN\’T wait!

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This just in…

I\’m about to have a nervous breakdown!  Work, OMFG I ain\’t even going to get started on that but I will say this much: My boss will be getting an earful via e-mail on the 24th since I have that day off and need a few days to \”cool down\”.  I mean really is there a diplomatic way of telling your boss \”Please stop acting like a twat, I have more qualifications then you I don\’t need a babysitter thanks…\” I\’m working on it, but something needs to be said because I\’m about ready to snap!  I can\’t deal with work BS on top of the 10 tonnes of drama I have to contend with already.

Once again I needed to bitch, its my blog so dammit I will!  *le sigh*…  Still haven\’t heard back from my landlord, that\’s convient!  Funny how when I confront someone they back down.  I\’ll only be nice for so long until I have had enough which is why my boss is next in line for me to take a bite out of someone\’s ass! I can haz vacay now?  How about some Valium?  I honestly can\’t wait to get the hell out of this province and go home and regroup.    I just need to get away from this place, and my job for a few days.  I am afraid that when I come home it will be burnt to the ground or something will have blown up or there\’s going to be a pool in my apartment.  Thank God for John, I mean really…  At least I know he\’ll stop by and see that everything is OK while I\’m gone & feed my cat,   he\’s so good to me 🙂

In other news, I do on occasion find a reason to smile and I meant to say this yesterday but got so caught up in my rant I didn\’t…  I have to give Carly a world of credit for her awesomeness!  I\’m quite proud of her for her major achievement which made my day last night!  Something good came out of it which is pretty awesome!

This has been making headlines as of late…  Some people say its a hoax or a cry for attention or free advertising…  Who knows?  In any case this whole story true or false blows my mind!   Of course I could count on Ania for giving her two cents on the topic 🙂

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And I\’m done…

With this damn apartment!  Back in the winter, my heating didn\’t work very well at all.  Whomever lived here prior broke off the adjustment knob and I can\’t get the heat to go up past 1 so when it was really cold outside it was on some occasions below 0 degree\’s  in my apartment.  My living room/kitchen area isn\’t insulated very well, no storm windows and plastic over said windows? FAIL…  I\’ve been asking my landlord for MONTHS to get its fixed and by months I mean almost 6 now.

My hot water tank?  Yeah that\’s another treat!  It would overflow, making my bedroom feel like the amazon because of the steam.  Soaked the floor which has ruined God knows how many things now at this point because there was just SO much water on my floor.  So I couldn\’t shower for a few days, and when it stopped over-filling then it would take 10 hours to heat back up again.  My friends boyfriend who\’s thankfully a plumber, not to mention a really nice guy said its working but pretty much on the way out.  Brought this to her attention, said to give  her two days she\’d have it looked at, umhmmm yeah NOPE not fixed STILL!  I mean it works but one of these days its not going to work at all.
Then there\’s my shower, the diverter stopped working so my shower was always on. Justin fixed it for me, then there goes my shower head which still spews out water everywhere but mostly not ON you while your in there… Again empty promises about having it fixed… Then she dumps the problem on me of tracking down the repair guys! WTF, NOT MY PROBLEM/RESPONSIBILITY! According to her, she\’d send them over to my house because they \”were in the area\” which she CAN\’T do, expected ME to make appointments with them because she lives really far and can\’t be bothered and claims that she doesn\’t have a key… This has been the repair battle royale for months now! I was fed up already, but today REALLY was the icing on the cake that was already poisoned…

When I moved in here there was noticeable water damage on the ceiling in my hallway which she said she would have repaired (yeah right!) Whatever aside from being slightly un-sightly it wasn\’t too much of a bother to me. I had to run out & buy some stuff for dinner tonight, John was on his way over & I said I\’d meet him at my place.
I\’m coming home, John texts me to tell me that my hallway is leaking which I didn\’t pay much attention to at the time because I thought maybe it was just because there was water on the floor from Heddy\’s new self watering water bowl. Nope, that fucker was spewing nasty water from upstairs somewhere. Thankfully John threw a towel down on the floor & grabbed something to catch the water while I was gone. However what if I wasn\’t home? What if I was in Ontario & John wasn\’t there and there was a flood? So after almost wiping out due to the water on my cheap faux hardwood floors I snapped. I was stark raving mad! I have enough on my plate to contend with and then this? So I fired off a bitchy e-mail to my landlord, took pictures of the ceiling and I\’m calling the Regie in the morning and filling a complaint. I\’ve been nice about this because my heat obviously I don\’t need right now and my hot water tank has behaved for the last little while but this tops them all!
I offered on NUMEROUS occasions to have someone *I* know come in and fix it. I know plumbers & general contractors who offered to get my heat fixed and my hot water tank BELOW cost because they know me, and will do it when I\’m free. Because all those jackasses she told me to call DON\’T work past 3pm unless its an emergency so she expects me to be home when its convient for HER *or* have one of my friends hang out at my house waiting for them to arrive, I think not!

To top it all off, my left arm is inflamed, I have little to no feeling in my pinky finger on my left hand so I think (read hope) that its just my carpal tunnel flaring up which is a simple surgery and I noticed I have a cavity that I can\’t afford to address at the moment and can only hope that my new found OCD dental regime will hold it off until July.
I mean really can it get any worse? I\’m not playing the woe is me card cos that\’s not my style but DAMMIT I HAVE PMS & NO PATIENCE! So I needed to bitch.
There, I feel better now…