by

Sleeping vs Sex.

There is something that makes absolutely NO sense to me. None.

Why on earth does everyone use the term you slept with so and so when they\’re referring to sex?

Are we so uptight as a society that we can\’t use the term sex and have to turn it into something completely different?

Last time I checked, sex had nothing to do with sleeping.  Sleeping with someone in the same bed is no where near the same thing as having sex with someone, regardless of whether or not you have actually had sex with that someone.

It\’s still not the same thing!

UGH!

by

Stuff that matters:

Please spread this post like it\’s herpes!

The one planet project. Check it out and educate yourself. Learning is important.

The Brian Gillman family This one is a little closer to home for me.  I didn\’t know Brian so much as I knew of him. He is however a dear friend of Barry. Barry being the founder of Anatometal, (where Brian also worked) is someone that I not only love/adore and respect but I also consider him one amazing friend as well.  The one thing I love about modified culture is loyalty and Barry has certainly earned it.  So that being said, my heart hurts. Not only for Barry, for Brian\’s family that was left behind including his two young children Indigo & Violet.  I knew the soul sucking heartache that I had when I found out about Jason, it was the first time that I had ever had to bury a friend and it rocked me to the core of a soul I didn\’t even know that I had.  I can not imagine having to go through such a traumatic loss as a child.  Barry has set up an account for Brian\’s children.  Anatometal will match every single donation dollar for dollar.

Which I think is amazing.

When I get paid, i\’ll be doing my part and making a donation on behalf of myself and NAYOP as well.  I can\’t do much, but I can at the very least do this.  If you work in the modification industry and want to help out, here\’s a flier that you can download and print out to be posted in your establishment:

\"\"

 

 

 

 

 

 

On a final note of things that are important: The school that I work at, along with my company Stuff by Chef Steph (along with countless others) are supporting together is amazing.  As I posted on my facebook page: \”One thing I\’ve noticed is how generous people are around Christmas when it comes to helping the less fortunate. What about now? Food banks are running on empty and as a Chef, I can\’t let anyone starve. It goes against everything I stand for.  It could be you who needs these services someday. Think about it!\”  The bottom line is this: someday you could be low on tangible income, unable to feed yourself or your family.  It can happen to anyone, at anytime.  If this was you and you needed these services, you would be pretty damn grateful for the kindness of others.  Also? It\’s a really easy way to give back to your community.  Caroline wanted to point out this: At the bottom of the page, there is a video, for every view, Shaw will Donate 1$ and Campbell\’s Canada will donate 1 pound of food to local Food Banks, up to $250,000 and 250,000 pounds.

So get off your ass and do something good for someone, somewhere. Pay it forward day should be everyday.

 

by

Reasons why I most likely won\’t date you.

Also? I hate my phone. A lot. Smart phone my ass. Sometimes it sends e-mails, usually it chooses not to. Although on the rare occasion that it does, it usually cuts it off at some point. Which is irritating as fuck because sending e-mail via this phone is already enough of a pain in the ass! -End phone rant.

Anyway, someone had commented that I hadn\’t posted any bad dates as of late. The reason behind that would be this: I haven\’t been on any dates of late. Good, bad or otherwise. Things are finally kinda quiet in my life and well needless to say, I\’m enjoying the \’me\’ time that comes along with it.  Aside from the fact that I\’ve been deathly ill and have decided to keep my germs to myself for the most part.  I\’m also really, really picky about who I choose to spend my time with.  With the sheer number of douchebags out there, who can blame me?  That being said, here\’s my (on going) list of things that will make me likely say no to you if you ask me out on a date:

  • You feel compelled to show me your 6-8 pack.  Unless it\’s beer or some other tasty beverage, I really don\’t give a shit about how ripped your core is. Really, I don\’t.
  • You send me pictures of your naughty bits.  *IF* I wanted to see that, I would make it happen. If for some reason you truly feel that this is necessary, even if I don\’t, make it a good one.  Likely won\’t change my mind in any way, shape or form; however make my free eye candy worth it and hope that I don\’t have some underground porn site.
  • You wear more make up than I do. I\’m all for being who you are and all that, I just fail to see the attraction to eye liner.
  • You\’re high maintenance. Guys complain that it takes woman eons to get ready. I dated a guy once who took twice as long to get ready. Yes really.
  • You feel compelled to wear your pants hanging halfway off your ass. IT\’S NOT ATTRACTIVE!   AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT! 
  • Pointy shoes. I just can\’t deal with this horrendous trend in shoes. As soon as I see them, I feel the need to put bells on them and throw you in a parade with the shriners.
  • You live at home. I\’m almost 34, if you\’re still living at home, you\’re too young for me. Or you\’re a mamma\’s boy and I can\’t handle that either.
  • You go out of your way to tell me how much money you make or the kind of car you drive. I. Don\’t. Care.
  • You play the oral sex card.  Just because guys claim that they\’re hurting for oral sex doesn\’t mean that we are. Talk is cheap and unless you\’re so damn good that it\’s mind blowing,  would make me hit the ceiling good and can prove it; shut it. Don\’t sing it, bring it.
  • You can\’t spell or type like a lazy ass fool. I\’m very well read, nothing irks me more than someone who can\’t spell or can\’t be bothered to spell out the entire word. It\’s lazy and too much like elementary school. Grow up.
  • You lack intellect. I shouldn\’t have to explain that.
  • You can\’t hold a conversation. Communication is important.
  • You\’re an idiot. I\’m smart. Book/life/street smart. You should be too on some level or another. Otherwise the likely hood of us having any type of connection is highly improbable. I don\’t care if I sound like a snob, intelligence is hot.
  • You\’re considerably shorter than I am.  I\’m almost 6 feet tall, I\’m also not a jungle gym.
  • You\’re in a relationship. I don\’t care if your wife/girlfriend/significant other isn\’t doing it for you.  Find a fuck friend or five to meet your needs. I don\’t share, nor do I tolerate cheating.
  • Don\’t have a sense of humor. I don\’t deal with people who are uptight.
  • Feel the need to text/email/phone me several times a day for no reason at all. It\’s irritating.
  • Have zero respect for my independence. I take care of me. Deal with it.
  • Have mommy issues. Freud just may have been onto something…
  • You tell me that you want to lick all of my tattoos. No. Just no.
  • You feel the need to pee on me. I have indoor plumbing. Please, feel free to use it.
  • You masturbate in my bathroom. Yes it\’s happened before. How did I find out? They missed. I have a black shower curtain. Do the math.
  • You want kids. I don\’t. That\’s an immediate deal breaker right there.
by

I want to be a pyro tech

Seriously, how awesome would that be? Playing with fireworks and getting paid for it! Take a moment and consider the bad ass factor.

In other news, one of these days I\’ll learn that sleeping with my hair down is a bad idea:

\"\"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This picture fails to capture what a ridiculous mess my hair is.  It looks like I\’ve had ridiculously awesome sex all night and had that been the case, it would have been worth the effort it\’s going to take to un-tangle this disaster. But no. That\’s a direct result of my tossing and turning all night in spite of getting high off my ass.  You\’d think i\’d sleep better, but no.

In other news, it was Jason\’s birthday yesterday. He would have been 32. He hated holidays in general and didn\’t like anyone making a big deal out of his birthday. My whole argument (when he was alive) was that had it not been for his birthday, we never would have met.  His birthday didn\’t suck as much as it usually does, I guess time really does heal everything.  In any case, I smoked a joint in his honor. I\’m sure he\’d appreciate that.  Which is exactly what  i\’m going to do when I get his ashes in the mail.

Yep, you just read that right.  The original plan was to have Jason\’s mom arrive with Jason\’s urn (or whatever he\’s currently stashed in), come to Canada and we were going to scatter his ashes along the peninsula in St. Anne\’s. Although knowing our luck it would have have been really windy that day and there would have been a ton of people out on their boats; which might have ended up in a disaster.  Especially if people were out sunbathing and covered in oil. Yeah it\’s morbid, but also kind of funny. Really. Think about it.

Funny unless you\’re the one who gets smothered by someone\’s ashes of course.    

I have a good relationship with Jason\’s mom. One that I\’m thankful for. So I thought that when the time came for her to scatter Jason\’s ashes, knowing full well that neither of us could come up with the $1500.00 for airfare; I\’d ask her to send some to me so I could do it on our behalf.  I didn\’t mention it, I wanted to wait until she was good and ready to part with his cremains before I said anything. A few weeks ago she mentioned that she was going to do it soon. I was hesitant to ask since it\’s a strange and rather personal request to ask of someone and possibly strange to some. Turns out that she wanted to ask me if I wanted some but didn\’t want me to be creeped out by it.  I\’m happy I asked and thrilled that she agreed that it was a nice idea.  Apparently she scattered his ashes yesterday at one of his favorite places, being his birthday and all. She promised to save me some so I could say good bye and hopefully get some closure once and for all.

I am however having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that my close friends ashes will eventually show up in my mailbox in a Ziploc bag.