Category Archives: Life’s little kicks in the face…

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Oh God…

How ironic its Sunday… Heh

So Saturday didn\’t suck as much as I thought it would.  In fact it was actually pretty chill, low key and dare I sat fun?  OMFG I actually said work was a hellish nightmare, fun for a change!  Mostly because it wasn\’t a non-stop ass-rape-a-thon of drama.  Aside from working with F who drives me up the wall.  We have an understanding now, so maybe that\’s a good thing.  There was some stressful moments but no one freaked out and/or pitched a fit.  We had a good crew on last night for the most part.  I have to say that my fellow co-workers/managers/owners are quite the electric bunch.  Maybe I\’m just more calm because I have a plan in place and I don\’t feel like I\’m at total odds?  Really who knows?  I sure as hell don\’t.  What I do know is that I need to make some changes in my life and exercise a little patience because I will get there, eventually.  Today is day 7 of work without a day off, its also Superbowl Sunday ACK!  Darren called me, to see what was up with the other place (nothing so far) and to give me my schedule.  So needless to say as much as I bitch about my job I am pretty damn grateful that I still have one.  They could have said Fuck you Steph, you handed in your notice, your out but they didn\’t <3 Thank you!

Speaking of \”the other place\”…  I chase NO ONE ever!  Had the interview last Thursday, got hired.  Was told that I would be contacted \”sometime next week\” to figure out when I would start training and all that good stuff…  So work called me on Monday wanting to know what the deal was (fair enough) so I called him just to see.  No harm in that right?  Well apparently so, I got blown off ; said he would call me in the middle of the week.  Well it\’s now SUNDAY the middle of the week has come & gone still no word.  So I give up.  I have my pride, I won\’t lower my standards for ANY man for ANY reason.  Don\’t care how good the job is or how cute you are, I DO have standards…  Seriously boys, save the games for your Nintendo, PSP, X-Box whatever your poison.  If your going to play games with me, it better be naked & in my bed or some other random location… 😉

So waiting to start school, and working through reams of paperwork and contacts to get Jason\’s memorial foundation off the ground…  So at least I feel semi-productive.  So. much. work.  Totally worth it though, by & large!  As cheesy and cliche as it sounds I couldn\’t save my friend, but maybe I can help save someone else?  Who knows, if I do; then it will be more then worth it for sure!  Its times like these that I wish I still lived at home or had a roommate or  had a sugar daddy 10 more hours in a day to get this stuff done.  Not quite sure where to start so I\’m going to sit down and figure out a hopefully plausible plan to make this happen.  It has to, there\’s no other way.   Need to make some contacts, check out some avenues and quite simply send in the paperwork and play the waiting game.  Seems like I\’ve been doing that a lot lately!

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Douchebaggery! Among other things…

OK where can I start?  Really…  Thursday, a totally non douchey day!  I got to chill with the lovely Jen, Clint, Ron & Chantal before racing off to work for a few hours and then had a lovely gab with a very lovely person and her hubby.  So all in all it was a nice enjoyable day with good people & good conversation (thank you I needed that! <3).  Then Friday hit and everything just went to shit after that…  I get into work at 5pm as per the usual, nothing was too crazy but I had a feeling it was going to be \”one of those days\” all the while muttering I love my job…  Mostly to myself.  However sometimes most of the time I do in fact love where I work!  We have such a great team of people, lots of inside jokes, stupid little pranks and a pretty good atmosphere to top it off which is nice!  However culinary life, regardless of the role you partake in, isn\’t for everyone either.

My co-worker seemed at odds but he\’s still new-ish so that was the norm.  It does however get a little frustrating when you have to tell someone the same thing a 100 times.  If there\’s something wrong with you IE: you have a learning disability or something then for the love of God SAY SOMETHING!  Anyway, its about 6:15pm I\’m doing some dishes and general tidying up because Friday nights are usually pretty crazy and I wanted to be ready for the rush.  I happened to glimpse my co-worker sneaking out the door, thinking he was going out for a smoke.  Which irritated me to no end because we were only a little over an hour into service but whatever, gotta get your breaks in when you can right?  Then about 20 minutes roll by and I asked my manager if he could track him down because it was starting to pick up a little bit.  He left…  Didn\’t say a word to anyone, just snuck out the back door and out the alley in the back and went home.  Are you fucking kidding me?!?

Thankfully two people rose to the occasion and came into bail my ass out along with my manager (thanks guys!  I really appreciated that!) and all in all Friday night in spite of loosing a staff member was actually pretty smooth overall.  Didn\’t leave until 5am but it got done without any major mishaps.  So as much as that pissed me off, because that\’s such a white trash, douchy thing to do; in the end it was OK.  So I went home, crawled into my uber amazing bed and slept soundly.  So then Saturday rolls around, poor D had to work to replace my MIA co-worker which had to suck but we got it done.  We were having a good time, Saturday in fact was full of fun, laughter and some really bad commentary.  I had high hopes in spite of working with yet another new guy who had only worked a few shifts.  We were having a great time…  That is until about 9-ish when the whining started.  I have ZERO tolerance for anyone who whines, especially a 19 year old law student…   Asking me for a break when you\’ve only been there for 2 hours, TWO HOURS?!? Are you kidding me?  So whatever I figured he might as well take on now because if it got busy then the chances of him getting one at all were pretty nil.  Still irritating though just the same.

Then the nagging started…  Can I go home? No.  Why not? Because I said so.  and on and on it went.  This kid was really starting to get on my nerves!  Then it got busy, it got to the point where I was SO frustrated I wanted to cry.  It takes a lot to get me to that point…  I was so tired, I just quite simply couldn\’t take it anymore!  I didn\’t know if I was coming or going, my co-worker well there\’s only certain things he knows how to do and I tell ya sneaking out that backdoor was MORE then a little appealing to me.  If you know what I mean.  So I texted my immediate boss to make him aware of the situation and well to air out some frustration while I was at it.  I also mentioned to the owner who was working that night that I needed stronger help on the busiest days.  I mean seriously, we broke a fucking sales record last night!  Strong staff IS required!  What did he do? Shrugged it off and bacially gave me a look that said:\”what do you want me to do about it?\” FUCK THAT!

So I\’m out…  I can\’t do this anymore.  Culinary life has been my life since I started working.  Its whoring up all my time, making me bitter, jaded and so. very. angry.  I am going back to school but I wanted to pare down my Visa bill a little bit first but you know what?  I don\’t think that I can wait any longer…  So in the meantime I am \”exploring\” other avenues outside of my career field that can tide me over until I get my BA, hell even a diploma would suffice at this time.  Which sucks so hard because I love where I work!  The stress, the bullshit and the drama however is enough to make me want to throw myself in front of a bus!  When you walk out of work needing some Valium its time to go…  I\’m going to miss that place though when I go 🙁

On a random note, I really miss Jason!  So much!  I also miss being in school…  Who knew?

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a whole lot of WTF and reunions!

Well this weekend has been the up-most roller coaster ride straight out of hell!  Work, well what can I say work is work.  Although I have to give kudos to the new guy!  He\’s my new bitch 😉  Seriously, he really is.  He\’s doing a pretty great job though I have to admit!  Lots of positive changes around work which is good.  Maybe in the end we\’ll all be happier!  I\’ve been itching to \”Steph-a-fy-\” that kitchen since I started working there and I finally got the backing, go ahead and support that I need from all the bosses and owners so that\’s pretty freaking awesome!

Then the other night I came home, checked my facebook and lo and behold there\’s a friend request from a very dear friend of mine that sadly feel out of my life for a number of reasons.  I knew he was on FB but didn\’t muster up the nerve to actually put forth the effort to \”be-friend\” him again.  That was the better part of 2 years ago and well he found me after 2 years of searching.  He spelled my last name wrong, which more often then not most people do.  So I guess we have been reunited once again which is nice actually!  I really missed him!  We were really close friends, and he was my rock when my life was horribly out of control in my early 20\’s.  I knew I could count on him and he on me.  He was the person when you felt like you had almost no one that you could count on, let alone trust but he was always there.  I cherished that friendship and I can\’t/won\’t go as far to say that we can \”pick up the pieces\” seeing as how we live in different provinces but still nice to re-connect just the same 🙂

So while I was having a nostalgic moment  I thought I would scope out my ex just to see if B was friends with G and turns out they weren\’t but then I discovered another old friend from my old life of long ago (by that I mean the 15-22yrs).   So we then played catch up and he\’s doing really well too which is fabulous!  I too wondered what on earth happened to him and how he was doing.  I have to say that out of the things I don\’t remember from that time period one thing I fondly recall is his going away party.  Which was the most epic toga party EVER!

Then while looking for something in my other not too often used e-mail address I got an e-mail from Jeremie whom I pretty much assumed that I wouldn\’t have anything to do with him because I apparently gave him the wrong impression about something inadvertently & unintentionally before and at least he was man enough to tell me as opposed to some people who just figure that they can ignore me and that\’s that…  But I\’m saving that for last…  Anyway he e-mailed me 5 days ago and I still had his number in my old cell phone so I figured since my other plans totally fell through,  why not give him a call.  So we ended up hanging out from about 9-ish til midnight so that was OK I guess.  Granted I had my head up my ass the whole time he was here…  Mostly because I was pissed at Micheal.  But whatever, at least my night wasn\’t a total loss.  Granted it could have been better… meh, whatever.0  I just really hate when people waste my time like that!

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Attention whores, drama queens and the gift of life…

None of which are related.  I was reading Ashley\’s blog today and was astounded by how many people one of their friends was able to help because she signed her organ donor card.  72!  72 different lives were enhanced because she signed her organ donor card.  I know so many people who are totally against this for their own reasons but in all seriousness what on earth are you going to do with them?  You can\’t take them with you so why not?  I don\’t know how much of myself would be able to be salvaged after I go but you just never know, which is why I always sign mine.

As for attention whores and drama queens…  Someone I \”know\” as in they\’re more of an acquaintance as opposed to a close friend  posted not one but 2 different suicide notes as their facebook status.  Which reminds me all to well of the story the boy who cried wolf. Except she\’s more like the girl who cried suicide.  Part of me is thinking WTF is wrong with you!  Another part of me is saddened by her blatant misuse of social networking to get attention.  She quite obviously is in dire need of some form of help.  People who generally/typically commit suicide sadly don\’t announce it.  The decision is made and they finally find the peace that they need all the while pretending that everything is fabulous.  I know that all to well, Jason did a damn fine job of convincing me that he would never ever do such a thing to hurt me and well the only reminder I have of my dear friend aside from memories is a cherish tattoo.

I really wish people would realize the cause and effect that it has on people when they pull shit like that!  Ever her RL friends told her she was totally messed up and needed help, to which I agree.  Sadly one day she just very well might commit suicide and when she really needs the help, no one will be there to help her because we/they have heard it all before.  Reminds me of a song from soul asylum: Misery :\” Did you satisfy your greed, get what you need
Was it only envy, so empty\”

In any case she\’s currently alive and well, I can only hope that those who live in the same province as her can help her get the help that she needs.  She\’s a good person who\’s obviously so very messed up inside.  Her brother committed suicide & I feel for her on so many different levels and of course I wouldn\’t want anything to happen to her either.  *sigh* *EDIT: She\’s now getting the help she needs, thank goodness!*

Anyway in other news…  I have no days off until NEXT Sunday, dear God!  I have however found that having my schedule the way it is has been a saving grace to my sanity in so many ways!  Having far more productive days around here has is benefits for sure!